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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I just found out that my ex-boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me the last 2 weeks of our relationship. We broke up in May, about 6 months ago, and I just found this out last night. We have been arguing/talking ever since but now that I officially know that he cheated on me, I feel like I don't want to talk with him ever again.I have so much dislike for him now, more than ever. He turned out to be someone I never thought he could be. I'm just not sure what I should do. I have these feelings of contacting the girl he did it with and telling her how she should feel ashamed of what she did because she knew he was with me. I also feel like contacting his friend and telling him how he is disgusting for keeping this secret from me and how he should feel ashamed of it too. I'm so angry at all of this...I don't know how to handle it. Do you think contacting these people are a bad idea? Also, should I completely cut off all ties with my ex?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (5 December 2013):
 He is your EX! Stop contacting him. Yes, he cheated on you, making him a slimy cheating dog. If he's not with her, then I pity the next girl he's with for having the misfortune of being with such a morally bankrupt human being.
Otherwise, if he is still with her, she knows he cheated, and their relationship will be forever tainted by the destruction of the foundation of trust.
Cut him and all knowledge of him out of your life and move on. That is your vindication, because staying in contact, being mad, obsessing over his crap is the opposite of vindication, and keeps his power over your life and happiness.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2013):
 Honeypie is right... contacting him is useless, block him and move on
and telling the girl he cheated with off... also no good and you're the one who will look bad.
trust me his friends know he did it and don't care... bro's before ho's is what they say...
live well
be fabulous
and move on
living a gracious life is the best revenge...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 December 2013):
 What you CAN do it write him a letter (don't mail it) LET it all out, cuss, "yell" say exactly how you feel and how it made you feel. then let it sit in a drawer for a week, re-read it - edit it if need be, then put it back in the drawer.
Once you have let go of the anger, resentment and feelings for this guy, you BURN the letter and let him go 100%
The anger is OK, just don't hold onto it for too long, being bitter over HIS ACTIONS won't fix him, nor will it help you in your life, so don't let the hate hold you back.
Remember, you can not fix stupid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2013): hey there,
thanks so much for your advice. i blocked him and do plan on cutting off ties 100%. i feel really good about this. and you're right, there's no use in contacting anyone of his friends/the girl. a waste of my time, for sure.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2013):
I understand your sense of "revenge" or righteousness but the thing is, you can tell HER off, you can tell HIM off, you can tell the whole world about his betrayal, facts of the matter is, SHE probably knew it, HE definitely knew it, maybe even some of his friends did too. So you telling them will do NOTHING for you, other then maybe look like a "woman scorned".
You aren't his mother so scolding him for bad behavior will get YOU nothing, not even peace of mind. It's not like he will turn around and apologize or feel remorse or guilt. He seriously doubt he cares what you think. And YOU shouldn't care one iota about him. Karma will track him down sooer or later.
Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do about it now. OTHER then cut the contact with him 100%. Stop wasting your time and tears on this guy, you dumped him for a reason and that was then REINFORCED by the knowledge that he ALSO cheated.
If you just drop him and block, delete whatever you need to do to cut him 100% I bet you will soon find a sense of being relieved that he is no longer part of your life and it will be much easier to get over him.
Good riddance to him.
Chin up.
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