A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi - this is going to be a strange topic - but I am in my 40s and have just walked in on my mum (who is in her late 70s) masterbating at her house in the middle of the day.We were all sat in the garden when I looked up and saw my mum had gone indoors. I guessed she was just in the loo or kitchen or somewhere but after 10-15 minutes I went inside to look for her. I called to her - but when there was no answer - I went to see if she was having a nap in her bedroom as she often falls asleep in the afternoon - I called - but she didn't reply so I walked in and caught her with lying on the bed with her hands down her trousers. I walked straight out - but then I heard her jump up and start rummaging around, as she must've heard me walk in. I asked her if she was having a sleep - but she just denied it and said she was sorting out clothes - which she wasn't. Therefore, I said no more and shortly after told her I was going home.I know this is a normal thing for most adults ( and pensioners also) to do - but the thing is - my mum has always been very old fashioned and quite religious. She was always telling me not to sleep around and to wait until I was married before I had sex. Plus even as a teenager she always told me it was 'dirty' to touch myself 'down there' - so to say I am quite shocked by her actions is an understatement!!Also, I doubt she watches porn unless on TV at night - as she doesn't even own a computer.The other strange thing is why do this in the middle of the afternoon when both me and my father were around. Why not wait until the privacy of being alone or in her own room at night?Therefore - I don't quite know how to feel about this - yes it's a normal thing to do - but like I said - she is usually so prudish. How do I try and forget about this image? Remember this is my mother, a woman in her late 70s - not some hot young blonde from the porn videos.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): Believe she was doing something else and stop dwelling on this image,it you don't want to be too prudish do you?
Sex is NOT dirty, It's great fun like sport, and some people like to play solitaire :)
Human nature
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): Hi - yes I'm now wondering if maybe there is some medical reason - for what she was doing - she did say she had some difficult births.
I will say no more on the matter now.
Thanks OP x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): your poor elderly mum was probably trying to push her prolapsed vagina back into place as it can be very uncomfortable indeed.Give your mum back her respect and dignity and dont spy on her or follow up her every move.
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A
male
reader, IanHenryCooper +, writes (9 August 2015):
 There is NO problem here - a wank a day keeps stress at bay!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 You're a grown woman in her forties not a 13 year old girl. Surely you have enough wisdom and experience not to be so easily shocked by what you see. Your mother was masturbating, not strangling the neighbour's dog.
It may be that she has finally given herself permission to try something that she enjoys. Maybe her condemnation of it in the past was her way of distancing herself from her own guilt and shame, or perhaps it was her own version of a cold shower. Who knows? And what difference does it make?
She was in her own room, in her own home and had a reasonable expectation of privacy. It might not have been the best time for that, but it's hardly the crime of the century.
The labels we give people tend to stick long after the information on which they're based becomes out dated. Your mother is a grown woman, as are you. You'll be fine. Whatever discomfort you feel now will pass soon enough, and sooner still if you adopt a more pragmatic view.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): I'm wondering why you're making a fuss and why it is any of your business? Reverse the situation and think about how you would have felt if your daughter walked in on you? Is there reason for all the clamor? Why are full-grown adults so surprised to discover seniors are human? Age doesn't morph us into a sub-human species!!!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 August 2015):
 Are you sure you saw what you think you saw?
Sometimes our imaginations can run away with us.
My Nan suffered terribly in her later years from water-works issues and incontinence. It is something she was very self conscious about, didn't talk about, I knew a little, but only my Mum knew just how bad it was. She hid it well, to the point where my Uncle really didn't have a clue about it at all. Even Gramps didn't realise the true extent of her problems (they hadn't shared a bedroom for decades due to her snoring issues!). She was very self conscious about it all, and would only ever go and stay overnight at our house. She was always too worried about making a mess of the bed at night to go elsewhere.
My nan refused to use incontinence pants. So instead she used pads, and a variety of other things to make herself feel safe and secure. Sometimes these would slip and she would have to excuse herself to sort it all out.
The reason I bring this up, is to just point out that there might be other reasons why she "had her hands down her pants". You say you didn't stick around and walked straight out, so really, you only know part of the situation.
Do you know if your mother suffers from any personal issues like that?
IF it was what you think you saw, then I agree with the others - you should have knocked. As a grown adult she can do what she likes. Sexual feelings are not just the preserve of hot young blondes.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 August 2015):
 I'm with YouWish.... and, quite frankly... I'm still trying to figure out if there is a question in your submittal...
Go, Mom!!!!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 August 2015):
 Go OP's mom! You do know what a closed door means in a house, right? Why did you not knock? She can take personal time away even with people there.
What you do is never bring it up again except to apologize for walking in on her, and you deal with it. It's completely natural, and she's a human being. I'm guessing that you take time for yourself just like she does.
Yes it's gross to think of our parents as sexual beings. But if she wasn't, you wouldn't exist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): The same way you'd want her to forget if it was the other way round - time and never allowing yourself to think about it again, changing your train of thought when it does.
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