A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My ex's new girlfriend has posted "in relationship" with my ex on her Facebook page. She has slept around a bit and knew it would hurt me as we dislike each other intensely and usually she has her settings set to private so I wouldn't see.She thought she would surprise me with the announcement - but I did know about it long ago as my ex mentioned it ages ago when we were on speaking terms.How should I react to this? I know she is trying to rub my face in it - and I would love to make a nasty comment back - but if I say nothing she'll think she's won! So what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2015): Remove her from your friends list and don't ever try to view are wall
You won't be hurt anymore. Out f sight is out of mind
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 August 2015):
 Actually, your thinking as to what "winning" is is backwards.
You said this:
"How should I react to this? I know she is trying to rub my face in it - and I would love to make a nasty comment back - but if I say nothing she'll think she's won! So what should I do?"
She "wins" by getting you to care or react in any way. You should react with INDIFFERENCE. This guy is your EX. Who cares if he even breathes air at this point? Go no contact with either of them. They don't get to be in your life anymore, unless you share a kid with him. Then it's all business and communication through the courts only.
Let her deal with the relationship. If she's with him just to get at you,then you should pity her.
YOU have to move on from your ex. Focusing on him and the people he's with is not healthy for you. And time is a luxury that will pass you by before you know it. Do you really want to waste the best parts of your youth on a couple of losers?? Purge him from your mind before you wake up and wonder where the time went. Find a guy who doesn't have baggage.
As for her treatment of you, don't waste your time qualifying her existence. Everything stems from your ego getting bruised over the breakup with him. The rest of it, including her antics, are distractions. She shouldn't matter to you. She shouldn't get to raise your blood pressure.
Move on. Block them out totally, and then maybe you have a chance to find someone new who deserves you better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 August 2015):
 I get that you want to tell her her actions were hurtful etc, but the thing is.. SHE is old enough to KNOW what she did was hurtful and she DID IT anyways. SHE doesn't care. You telling her won't "teach" her to be nicer in the future. It won't change who she is.. And she is a twat.
You NEED to remember that YOU CAN NOT change other people. Not how they act, think or feel. ALL you can do is control how YOU react to it.
KEEP your head held high, don't b a gutter rat like your ex and her. DON'T be petty or bitter. It serves NO purpose for you.
If you feel like it, you can "write" her a letter. (don't mail it) and when you no longer give a flying fart about HER and your ex, burn it and SET yourself free.
Trust me, the sooner you let it go and accept she is a twat and you no longer wish to waste YOUR time on her, the sooner you will start to feel better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2015): OP here. Thanks for the answers so far - I haven't felt the need to respond to her for a bit so maybe I'm getting over it! I just don't like the way she treated me & feel she should know. X
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 August 2015):
Yep to Notsohappy's advice.
She is winning, she is living "rent free" in your mind.
WHO cares what her status is on Facebook? WHO cares whom she is dating? He is your ex, she isn't a friend, so stop wasting your time on two people who means nothing to you any more.
STOP going on her Facebook. If you are "friends" on Facebook - un-friend her AND the ex and let it go.
She won a "booby prize" (your ex) it's not like he is some kind of fantastic guy who treated you golden, is he?
Saying something nasty makes you look bitter and sad.
LET them have each other - YOU move on with your life and make it a GREAT one.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (22 August 2015):
I’m not sure if I agree with you; I think she will feel like she has won if you do post a nasty comment. You said she’s trying to rub your face in it, so what better proof will she have that she’s succeeded than if you take the time to give a response? This is pointless and childish and is best ignored. Your ex is doing nothing wrong because it’s over between you. Let the new girlfriend post what she wants; ignore her, get on with your life and, however you feel, appear to be indifferent to her vindictiveness. I promise you this: if she really has done this to spite you, hearing nothing from you will drive her wild with frustration.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2015): Uh.. duh... don't!It's your ex, you need to drop it towards him. Whatever relationship and problem he gets into is his own business.Leave it alone. It's Facebook !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2015): Why do you think that their life revolves around you? and why are you making this girl and her thoughts so important to yourself!
I'm sorry for being rude but all of these are none of your business. Go ahead and focus on your life instead of your ex's and his girlfriend's! If you cant stop stalking them, just remove them both from your fb and block them.
You are just wasting your life, making your ex's gf the most important person in your life!
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