A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner will not let me see her naked and as of yet we have not had any form of sexual contact and this is after us being together for over 7 months and each and everytime I try to talk to her about this she starts to cry and tells me that her breasts are saggy and the rest of her body is digusting as well and she tells me that I would be far better off without her and said to me last night that how does she know that after we have slept with the first time it will be the last time as she will be usless.I think that she maybe a virgin and cannot bring herself to tell me and I am concerned that she will get even more depressed.
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male
reader, Homroy  +, writes (22 August 2015):
Well my friend, first thing if your aim is to get sex, leave the young lady alone..If you love her, and you see her as your future wife, it's clear she's not ready to come out of her shell, so what you need to do is just tell her over and Over how beautiful she is, and your grateful to god for allowing you to be together. It took me 9mths before my ex kiss me. So please give her space, time, love her. I really hope my advice help..
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (20 August 2015):
:( that poor lady. It sounds like she has some very deep body image issues. I feel so sorry for her, it must be awful to go through life with the crippling fear that people won't like you any more if they see your body.
You can't fix her. Somewhere along the line it's been ingrained in her that her body is ugly and shameful, and nothing short of therapy will help. She may have been shamed by previous partners, her parents, etc.
Whether you want to stay and try to help her through this is up to you, it will be a long road and not easy. Whatever your decision I urge you to be kind and patient, and remember the campfire rule- try to leave the other person in better condition than you found them in.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 August 2015):
 It isn't depession to be a virgin. It's a badge of honor. Learn to respect her. If you love her, you'll let her be her a not the fantasy girl you have in your brain.
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A
female
reader, chipmunk37  +, writes (20 August 2015):
 Have you considered wearing a blindfold? I know it sounds silly but if she is embarrassed about her body it wouldn't be a problem because you couldn't see her and if she is a virgin it would give her a chance to visually and explore your body at her own pace. Since you are blind it would put her in control of what happens and give her a sense of power and confidence. I know when I blindfold my lover I feel incredibly sexy and turn into a right little minx teasing him with light touches, kisses and licks then retreating when he tries to grab me. The blind fold can also make it kinky and fun reducing the tension out of what might be a nerve wracking situation for her.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 August 2015):
 You know, the funny thing is - it's 2am here, and while I was typing some sort of philosophical and deep answer to your post that addressed her deep-seeded insecurities, the power went out here, leaving me in pitch black except my monitor light, and I thought - you could suggest turning all the lights off first time. The dark is the great equalizer, second only to candles.
Other than that, ask her if her insecurities are worth the prison she's built for herself. Life's too short!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2015): She may not be for you, if you want sex. I think she needs therapy to help her deal with how her body has aged.
She may be a virgin, but she may just not have had sex in a while (because of her lack of confidence in her body) and feels like you'll be disappointed.
It's her inner demons, so I suggest talking to her and suggesting therapy, or letting her go, if she doesn't because she doesn't want it to get better, unless she seeks help.
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