A
male
age
41-50,
*ukefortender
writes:Yesterday i saw a post of a picture of my wife and my grandfather on facebook and saying that she feels much happy because never had a real blood grandpapa and for having a grandfather like him,etc. And everybody replied and liked it, and this guy who i never seen him on her facebook (he was her boss and had a small afair with her in the pass, she told me it was just a kiss and happened a long time ago, just one kiss)replied saying: - So cute! Nice, she's a good person, everybody likes her, a good friend, very very good person!Guys, what the hell is that? This made me angry and totally crazy, i feel betrayed! She told me she wouldn't know he could reply her and has anything to do with what happened!Can she cheating on me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): OP, you may think that my words have no merit but this is what happens in REAL life: partners do get pissed at each other when it comes to FB, Mixit or any other social networking sites. In my marriage my hb and I try to have very open dialogue. This means that we do have the difficult talk even though we may hurt each others feelings. When we were having marital problems my hb asked me pointblank whether I was having an affair. I'm a professional, in the legal industry, earn more than hubby, meet many affluent men. Although his reasoning and questions were absolutely wrong, I still had to address his feelings, his thoughts and his fears. I loved him and respected him enough not to downplay or ignore his accusation. This is what mature couples do. A discussion, a re-assurance and a solution to the issues. This works in my marriage , where honestly, faithfulness and respect play a vital role. The fights are sometimes also hectic as well but we both work hard in communication and dispelling any inconsistencies and trust issues. We are both human, with faults and both are no no nonsense people and we both irritate the hell out of each other sometimes. This is called marriage. And I love it!LoveGirl
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): I totally disagree with Lovegirl's response. I think that the aunts are being completely realistic and that you are overreacting to this situation. In many of her other posts Lovegirl is deeply unrealistic about real-life scenarios,and in this case she is saying that she thinks the aunts all need to get "real". Bizarre.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): I think the Aunts here are making a mountain out of a molehill. Why the over reaction people? This man just asked a question and admitted his feelings. I would rather you all really create a fuss when a person does actual wrong. OP your feelings are real and you are upset that this ahole commented. You told your wife how you felt. Full stop! There its out in the open- whatever happened to honest open dialogue between couples? Shoot a person for even opening his/her mouth? Get real everyone. These discussions do happen in everyday life. These misunderstandings do also crop up from time to time. It is called Life. It is called Real life. In a fantasy world everything is hunky dory. Let us all save our energies for something really meaty!!!If I had a penny for each time my hubby and I had a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding or unknowingly hurting each others feelings or deliberately pissing each other off......LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 November 2011):
 Your wife didn't have anything to do with this. Is this guy a friend on her Facebook? If not, then whoever had these pictures could have their settings set so that non-friends could see and comment.
She's not cheating on you. She didn't betray you. She did nothing wrong. You do realize that your extreme reaction could hurt your marriage, no?
Also, and let me be clear, she had this kiss with him before she was with you. Was she with you when she kissed him? You weren't clear, but it sounds like "a long time ago" means before she was with you. So you must tone down the jealousy on this one.
Your wife deserves not ONE single negative word, emotion, or reaction from you. If you are treating her with negativity in any way, shape, or form (silence and pouting count!), stop right now, or you will damage your marriage. I mean it.
It's okay to wonder what is in this guy's mind, but so far, he hasn't directly contacted her or made any sort of move on your wife. Had he contacted her or requested to meet her in person would be a different story. Nostalgia can affect anyone. Just chill out, because it makes you look like a chihuahua screaming over a bone right now.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 'If there was ever an over-the-top reaction, this is the one.' I wholeheartedly agree.
Neither your wife nor her boss have done anything wrong here, so your reaction is inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, Armisses +, writes (1 November 2011):
It sounds like your intimidated by this man since he's the only person that commented on the picture you're worried about. Your wife married you because she loves you. Please don't be that insecure husband that stalks his wifes facebook page. Its only a comment and it wasn't even an extreme comment. Calm down
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 If there was ever an over-the-top reaction, this is the one.
I'm surprised your wife is even taking part in this ridiculous conversation with you. HOW is it her fault or her problem if that man comments on her pic? You know what, I could write more, but its not worth it.
Just think about how insanely irrational your behavior is.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (1 November 2011):
I don't think she is cheating on you. If you are uncomfortable with him being able to comment on her Facebook, why not calmly and rationally explain how you feel. Tell her that his commenting brought back the negative feelings you have towards him due to their kiss. Explain that you would appreciate her blocking him from having access to comment.
Try to hear her out and don't start an argument with her out of anger or you will likely just push her away.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): Why is this man on her FB? Her friend? Did u know she was corresponding/sharing her life info with him.
I don't think she is having an affair (??) But I think that she should delete him as a friend.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2011):
 you think she's cheating on you because some guy posted something on a picture on facebook?
a small affair in the past before she knew you?? not even an affair a kiss? just a kiss? he WAS her boss...
sounds like he's a casual aquaintence nothing more and nothing to worry about...
why are you angry about her having friends? why do you feel betrayed because someone said she looks good with your grandfather???
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