A
female
age
30-35,
*olaBolla
writes:This guy and I have had an on-again off-again thing for nearly three years now. Nothing physical, but we have a hell of a lot of chemistry. And it isn't just "Oh your attractive let's have sex"-- it's a legitimate I care about you and hope you're alright. Point in case he stood up for me in front of his friends several times and punched his friend in arm for snubbing me one time. He got super jealous when I walked in with another good-looking guy (didn't know it was my cousin).For a clash-of-cultures reason, I think his friends are pressuring him to avoid me even though his best friend (who happens to be a mutual friend) kind of dropped a hint that he likes me.Whenever we're in the same room, he seems to gravitate towards me, laugh at my jokes (no matter HOW stupid), and agree with whatever I say. But he won't respond to any of my emails, and has stopped initiating contact entirely. I've tried initiating contact, but like I said he won't respond.I'm dead tired of this cat-and-mouse routine and it's confusing the hell out of me. I want to discuss it with him but I feel like if I do, he'll just think I'm being super clingy and desperate for him, which I'm not. I just want some fucking closure.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Closure in this case is another word for saying that you want an explanation that will salve your bruised ego. I'm not saying this to be mean, but it's tough feeling rejected, especially since it wasn't supposed to be this way.
Unfortunately, you feel more for him than he did for you. Instead of seeking your closure from him, you should create your own closure by letting him go. Wish him well in his life, but make the emotional break so that your heart can open for someone else. Chemistry is great and all, but it isn't everything, and someone with even better chemistry is most definitely out there.
What's more is that you're out of high school. The whole cat and mouse "he likes you" by his best friend and stuff like that is now in your rear view window. You've had enough of the whole tittering giggling teenage years. Time to grab hold of your own love life and move forward as a mature woman. And pining for this guy who isn't being bothered isn't the road to maturity.
Time to move on. You make the closure with yourself, he doesn't.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 November 2011):
I think you need to wake up. There's a reason this is on/off so much - it's because it is never going to work between you. In fairness to you, this is about him. He's clearly been using you as the back up for some time now, and it really needs you to just stop bothering with him and move on.
Stop looking for closure - you won't get it and that is what will make you look desperate to a man who doesn't give a damn. You don't even need closure if you accept the truth - he's not interested. Forget discussions - that's how the cat will catch the mouse again and use it as a plaything.
Block him, accept him for what he is, accept this situation for what it is and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 It looks like he has feelings for you but he is confused by many factors. I think that he is listening to his friends and thinks that it is just not worth getting involved with you for what ever reasons. There are definitely things that are holding him back from you, maybe he feels it is to much hassle as all his friends are telling him to stay clear from you, he is still young and is mind is just not ready to make a commitment by the sounds of it. To be honest honey my best advice would be to forget about him. Stop contacting him, what is the point when he is not responding anyway. Move on with your life and leave him in the past. He really is not worth it. If he deeply cared he would respond to you and explain to you, but he cannot even be bothered doing that, show him that you don't need someone as immature as him in your life and move on and find someone who would do anything for you and not ignore you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 November 2011):
 It's OFF again and it's clearly staying OFF...
he's not answering your emails... and won't contact you
he's telling you LOUD and clear what to think... he's done.
what closure do you need/want?
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