A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heyim a quite shy person. expecially with new people, i never know what to talk about.people always say fake it till you make itwell i dont know howhow can i fake being confident/outgoing?xoxo
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female
reader, violentviolet  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 The 'fake it til you make it' thing really works - I'm walking proof! I'd say think of someone you know that oozes confidence and whenever you're stuck for what to say when making small talk, just think what they would say. Watch how they show their confidence - shoulders back is very important. And eye contact. If you find the idea of eye contact a bit scary try focusing on a point just off from the eye at first.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I wouldn't say that it's faking confidence. I'd say thats its unleashing the confidence within you that you already have!! lol!
Umm - well for a start you can try telling yourself about all the things that are good about yourself and what other people may admire you for. Concentrating on your positive points is a good way to boost self-esteem.
Smiling is also a good sign. I always like it when people smile. It makes me more at ease too.
Talk about things that you know about. If you know about something and can talk about something it will be more interesting - and you'll automatically feel more confident when you are in your comfort zone.
Hard as it may seem just relax!
Be true to yourself. x x x
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Okay, well in the first place, why are you trying to be someone you're not? And the thing about 'fake it till you make it' what's up with that? But anyways, if you want to come across as a little more confident...I would suggest:
*Eye Contact! Eye contact shows you have a strong character and that you're not afraid of the person, looking away makes you look vulnerable and shy.
*Smile! Only when necessary though, you don't want to be seen as a weirdo that smiles all the time, even when what you're talking about is depressing! =]
*Talk! Talking is essential, however you need to be a good listener too, otherwise, that's just plain rude and ignorant!
I know that you'll hear those things from a lot of people, but they are true, you want to be confident, not arrogant so I would just stick to a minumum of those!
Hope this helps some! Bye x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Confidence for most people comes with time. You can't fake it, and you can't really rush it. In the long run, I think the best way to become more confident is to have a good life: do things you like and get good at them, be a nice person and behave with respect and courtesy. Over time you'll grow more comfortable with yourself and how you are in the world, and confidence will come to you naturally.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Confidence is knowing who you are and what you are capable of.
Just remain calm and relax even if you don't know because not everyone is a walking encyclopedia.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (27 January 2008):
"Fake it till you make it"- it means you have to try and try and try until you actually become confident. You wont be able to fake it perfectly from the start, it takes practice, as does anything really.
I know its hard talking to someone when you have just met them, but what I find helps is the following things:
-If you can, before meeting with someone you know you will be shy around, have some pre set ideas/subjects of conersation in your head. THis way, when you start talking, you just have to go to the little list in your mind if you dont know what to talk about.
-Smile. Being happy and smiling shows you are friendly, are interested in the person and like being around them. People like it when people are like this.
-Make eye contact. This also shows you are interested in the person. If you look around, you will seems distracted and like your not really listening.
-If you feel shy talking about yourself or dont know what to say about yourself, ask the other person lots of questions. People usualy like talking about thereself, it makes them feel important. It also shows you are interested in them.
Eventually, with practice, you will realise that you are actually pretty good in these situations and you will become confident in your ability to talk to people who you dont know well.
I hope this has helped :)
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