A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, I asked this question a couple of hours ago but then realised that I hadn't included everything I wanted to. Well I've been going round to my boyfriend's mate's house quite a lot recently. His name is Dan* and he's 18. My boyffriend is Tom* and he's 16 and I'm 13. Yesterday while my boyfriend was on the Xbox, Dan sent me a text message saying: "I like you but don't say anything. Dan xxx" It left me confused. I like my boyfriend very much and want to stay with him. We've been together nearly 2 months now and I'm happy with him. Also I think Dan is too old for me AND he has a girlfriend. Today I was round there again with Tom of course and his other friend Sam*. Tom had nipped some Xbox games round to someones house and Sam had gone to the toilet and Dan said to me: "what did Tom say about that text? Did he see it?" I replied "No he didn't see it and I told him it was a text from the internet saying I couldn't go on it cos I'm out of cred.." blah blah blah. I asked Dan what he meant by it and he said I like you then Sam came back in. I feel really really bad cos I've lied to my boyfriend about the text and if I tell him I've lied he'll be really mad at me and I don't think he'll trust me. Dan and his girlfriend - Kat* were arguing today and she thinks that he wants me. She doesn't know about the text. She squirted a whole bottle of cold water at me and called me a dirty tramp cos she thinks there's something going on between us. I feel awful. Should I say something to my boyfriend? He's really weird cos if I do little things to annoy him he gets really mardy :S I've got myself into a bit of a sticky situation. I'm supposed to be meeting Tom and Dan tomorrow but Dan has called me to say if I don't want Tom to come then I should tell him so he can come on his own. I don't know how to get him off my back! I'm a shy person and don't like saying no. I like him as a mate but nothing more.. cos of the age and the fact we're both in relationships! I stupidly said that he should bring Tom tomorrow and I'll meet him on his own later in the week. I don't know what to do. I won't be able to sleep tonight cos I get soo worried. I swear it's all Dan. I havent made a move on him. He started this and he's ringing me tomorrow at school to see if I've changed my mind about him bringing Tom. I don't wanna lose him and I feel like just crying.HELP PLZ? xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): Heyy! I also gave the same problem. A guy called Torin keeps following me around, and the other day, i was in the library choosing a book, when he came up to me and said; "Ive wrote this story! Please could you read it? I want to no if its good or not, cos if it is, ill get it published!" Already, i was thinking, yeh sure, like your gonna get it published! But the story was a love story all about me and him. he said that if we wanted, it could come true, but i kindly but sternly said that i was already in a relationship, and i dont think that my boyfriend would be happy about me seeing him (Secretly between you and me, that was a TOTAL LIE! Im single!) Lol. But the trick worked, and now, he isnt on my case as much.
You have to be cruel to be kind, so tell him that if he doesnt pack it in, you are going to have to tell your boyfriend. Tell him you just want to be friends, and he is WAY to old for you anyway. Im sure he will understand. Or, you could get a friend to say something ???
Im also your age, so i no what to do when it comes to boys! Lol x.x
Good luck!
Beth xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): You do the following: write Dan a text telling you are NOT interested in having a relationship with him as you already have a boyfriend whom you love, and keep it in your Sent messages folder. If you really want to tell your boyfriend of this situation, do so, as he will aware about Dan's intentions and will be prevented on how to handle them. Also show Tom the message you wrote to Dan, on the nearest occasion, and tell Tom you decided you will try and avoid Dan, and that you don't want any violence in this story..so maybe for you both to treat the situation as nothing has happened. And indeed it hasn't, between you two.......End of story. It's nothing really complicated.And don't meet Dan alone ever or follow any of his invitation, simply say no, say "it's unappropriate and I just do not want to." You have to learn to protect your relationships, it was you,not us, who said you like your boyfriend. All the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): You telling Dan to bring Tom and that you would meet him later on his own during the week gives him the idea that you are playing them both.....these two guys are doing a classic switcheroo on you, the guy Dan is trying to split the two of you up so he can compete with Tom and show him you aren't worth his time and attention, and guess what Tom will be humiliated and want nothing to do with you....you need to end this fight between these two now, have nothing to do with either one of them for a couple of weeks, and start over as just friends.....13 is too young to be posessive of a boy and call him your boyfriend and vice versa, have a number of boy friends....and then no one will be mad at you....leave the other girlfriends to stupidly be used and confused by these little boys....who at this age make terrible boyfriends...things will change for you in a few years so be patient and enjoy being a kid why don't ya?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): There is a third option here, at 13 do you really need to designate one of these boys as your "boyfriend"?
These guys are best buds it sounds like, they are most likely going to see you as the perpetrator whether that is true or not and you will be on the outside looking and feeling stupid...boys tend to stick together and won't split over some girl, especially at this age....don't hang out with both of them at once, let them to themselves to be boys together....and you find
something else to occupy your mind...and your time...your boyfriend won't be your boyfriend for much longer any way, you both are too young for that kind of long term stuff, so prepare yourself for the split....it is much better to have them as friends....Dan sounds like a bit of a jerk so I would tell him you are not interested in that and you just want to remain friends with both boys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone.
Although I don't agree with the second one. It isn't my fault!
xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 You are not to be blamed for this trouble.It is not your fault. You should not tell your b/f or he could over react . Delete that text from your phone.Do not talk to Dan and give him the cold shoulders. He is no more a friend because he has crossed the line.
Try not to go to Dan's house with your b/f. Give excuses that you are not feeling well or not free or whatever you can think off. You should leave them boys by themselves.
Don't worry too much and don't appear to be clingy.It is not the end of the world.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 You are responsible for this situation. You've been leading Dan on by letting him continue suggesting that the two of you have a relationship. You doing nothing counts as causing problems in this case. Not making a move on him is one thing, but you're certainly messing around. No wonder Dan's girlfriend has a problem with you.
You need to decide whether you want Tom or Dan.
If you want Tom, then tell Dan to stop right away. Tell Dan that if he doesn't then you'll tell Tom. You need to mean it.
If you want Dan then the first thing you need to do is break up with Tom. Then let Dan know that 'if' he breaks up with his girlfriend then you two could date.
Personally I think the second option is bad news. This guy Dan sounds like bad news: he's obviously dishonest! He's willing to try to steal his friends girlfriend, and to cheat on his own girlfriend! BAD NEWS. This guy will probably end up causing you nothing but pain and trouble.
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 I'd say tell your boyfriend, so that if anything does go on and he finds out it's best he finds out from you and he finds out the truth you know? You really need to get stern with dan and say no! this has got to stop! you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend! He isn't much of a friend, But in my opinion you really need to tell your boyfriend.
I really hope this helps if you want to talk about this just message me
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