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age
36-40,
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writes: Write now I am having a problem with my girlfriend drinking while she is studying abroad in England.I don't understand why she is doing it. She did drink her before when her boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, pressured her into drinking. She didn't like what happened or how she acted. So now I don't understand why she is okay with doing it. She seems to be drinking in moderation I guess, started out having only half a drink each night that she did. Though tonight now she had 2 drinks of rum and coke. I've never been with her when she is drinking so I'm not sure what she is like. She says she knows her limits but I feel that a person who is drinking is prone to start having some more. I love her so much but I just don't want to see her get caught up in this. Has anyone else experienced this before? Am I just overeacting in terms of how much she is drinking? I don't know much about drinking and how much drinks actually affect people. She is on the small side, I know weight is a factor. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Yos is right. The drinking scenes in England and the US are different. Here drinking is a social norm among pretty much everyone. Students go out whenever they have money to socialise, i had a around 5 pints on Friday and a few shots, and ive done worse, and you have older people that drink in the pub while watching football(soccer). But while some drink alot to the point where they are plastered, most know there limit and will be in control enough to control themselves. We dont do parties where someone ends up being duck taped to the ceiling.
Just trust her as you are overacting a little but its understandable. Plus 2 rums and coke is not that much.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Relax and trust her. Quit your worrying. Don't make it an issue or you will strain your relationship.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 99.9% of students drink in England. It's at the center of the social scene and her not drinking would make it much harder for her to fit in. Asking her not to drink is not far from saying 'don't have any friends'.
It's quite different from the US, where drinking tends to me seen in a more extreme way (and done in a much more extreme way). It's either not drinking at all or doing keg-stands and getting 'crunk'. The British have very different cultural attitudes towards alcohol than the Americans. People can drink a fair bit whilst still behaving reasonably well, and things like date-rape and getting photographed naked with marker pen all over your body, whilst they do sometimes happen, seem to be a lot less common. There's all sorts of complex historical reasons for it which I won't go into here (although it's very interesting!).
You might want to dig a little more into why this worries you. My guess would be that you're concerned that if she gets drunk she might get hurt, or perhaps sexually involved with another man, even if just accidentally. You don't say but I'm guessing she's over there whilst you're still in the States? Having your partner away overseas for a long time is really hard and its very easy to get nervous about what they're doing and if they still love you. The best thing you can do is trust her to be smart (that's one reason you like her right?), whilst allowing her to do what she feels is right without acting like you're trying to limit her. And of course, lots of emails and phone calls telling her what you're up to and reminding her that you care about her go a long way too.
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