A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants me to try anal sex. I have never done it and for some reason can't bring myself to do it. anyone have any words of wisdom. am I overreacting or is is as bad as it sounds.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I'm married, tried it, HATE IT! But he keeps asking for it, pressuring for it, and I just end up giving in to him. I feel cheap, used and physically messed up, but he's happy and that's what matters. So determine if you want to make you happy or your partner. I that think will determine whether or not you are willing to let him have his fun.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Obviously many of you people have no idea what it means to be gay because I'm gay and I know plenty of men who have never been on the receiving end of anal sex. Don't try and stereotype people when you don't know anything about them. That's like me saying all women are going to end up pregnant because thats the whole point of being a woman.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 It's not true that if you're gay you have to be into anal sex! That's nonsense, just in case you were believing what some of the other aunts here have said.
If you don't want to do it, don't. It's that simple. It's not something everyone likes, and its certainly not something you have to like.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (17 January 2008):
If you are female,go ahead if you have the courage and guts but if you are male as your profile shows then you gotta live with it coz you are gay,or you are not? Don't do somrthing you are not comfortable with but you can learn to do it bit by bit.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 If your female, I say don't do it if you don't want too, its not that important. If your a male, then try and do it as thats the whole point of being gay and your going to do it one day.
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A
female
reader, cyprus_gal +, writes (17 January 2008):
ok look dont do anything that you dont want to do but as you have proberly heard the saying try before deciding have loads of lubricant ready and ask if he can just finger you for a while and then try putting it in but just go slowly as it may cause problems later on
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A
female
reader, living and learning +, writes (17 January 2008):
Before you agree to anything,GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. This includes researching the subject and as you are doing now asking others what they think.
Ultimately its up to you. With all sex remember to be safe and be comfortable with it.
If he is pressing you about it, I wouldn't do it. Sometimes our partners can be selfish sexually but I think that you should search yourself and maybe experiment on your own first with sex toys i.e. butt plugs, a fake penis the size of your boyfriend. try it on your own first.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 Hi,
In your other post you asked what you can do to spice up your sex life. I would suggest you can easily do this without anal sex.
Some girls love anal sex, some are o.k with it, and a lot dont like it at all. Personally I can take it or leave it , preferably leave it and I have only indulged when on a very rare occasion my partner wants it ( usually for the intense orgasms she gets from it ). But I would much rather spend 100% of bed time in God's greatest gift to mankind - the vagina.
You can always try it once, use heaps of lube and get him to go very slowly you can always ask him to stop if you cant get comfortable - but question his motives, why does he want to do it? You said in your other post that you need to spice things , he may think that this is the way to do it. You could tell him you are not ready yet, but put on some sexy lingerie and whisper dirty thoughts into his ear while he is making love to you. Introduce some sex toys into the equation. The options are unlimited. Go to a sex shop together ( lots of couples do it these days )and pick out what takes your fancy.
good luck
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (17 January 2008):
 It can be diffrent for each person, it can be a bit uncomfortable for some, and painful for others. And some people who's anal cavity is to tight it can bleed the first time u do it. And it really does nothing for females most of the time. But your boyfriend should understand if you dont want to do it. I know all of this because well one of my friends is kind of a user, he is a nice guy to other guys but her manipulates girls a little and it bugs me...
But dont feel bad im a guy and i wont do this unless my future girlfriend or wife wants me to really bad. I just do not like that idea at all. So yeah its common to dislike the prospect. Just try talking to your boyfriend and tell him u dont want to, or try it and if it becomes to painful set it up so he will stop quickly.
Hope i helped.
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (17 January 2008):
 Okay first of all your acount says your male....so im going to assume your male...
now if you are male and its your boyfriend then its kinda one of those things that if you dont enjoy you're not gay..
If your female dont do it unless YOU want to do it and dont let him pressure you into doing it.
If you do wish to try it and are just scared from lack of expierience of it, tell this to your boyfriends and make sure you haev lube at hand incase its needed x
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (17 January 2008):
 if you want to do it go for it, as a man i dont know how much a women enjoys it (on average, i must ad). if he has a pointy cock (thin tip to phat base) it will probably be easier to adjust than if it is quite blunt at the bell, and all the ususal problems with size and fit are exacerbated greatly (THE ANUS IS NOT A VAGINA). you know your man and if he has limited patience and can be slighlty aggressive and unresponsive/inconsiderate sexually it wont work as well and may be horrible.
the key is tenderness, in every sense of the word so if you say yes retain tight control over the situation (pun intended)
enjoy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): well i have been with my boyf for 3 yrs. he has wanted to try it for most of this and one night i finally gave in, under strict instructions!! i.e lubricant, ease of entry etc etc. at first we did it in a take on the missionary position, which was fine, not sore but nothing really spectacular for me. then we turned around and i was on all fours, this for me was not good, it was sore and made me feel slightly cheap or something. my advice is to look up a sex info site such as sexinfo101 and read up on the best positions etc. and use lubricant and a condom. oh and just to let you know, we will be trying it again soon so im not off it for life!!hope this helps
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