A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have been with my bf for four years. This summer I had been thinking about going to the east coast to visit my sister. My bf said he didnt want me going by myself and that he would come with me. He didnt invite himself - he was invited by my sister and her fiance first. we talked about the trip but never made any definite arrangements yet. then it turned out that we wouldnt be able to go while my bf was on break from school. but i was still able to go...alone. when i told him this he got mad at me and said that it was messed up of me to go w/out him. he's making me feel quilty about going to visit my sister. he has since said that hes not mad any more and i can go. but i think that he's still hurt about my decision to go alone. Does he have a right to be made at me? Should I feel guilty about this?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 June 2007):
 Hi there, sweetness.
Girl, your man is all kinds of jealous or SOMETHING. Well, the best I can say for him is - he needs to suck it up and deal. You want to go see your SISTER. That's important. My sister lives out on the east coast too, and you can bet I miss her horribly.
Your boyfriend ought to be happy that you're spending time with your family - even if he can't be there. Tell him to send your sister a fruit basket or something to say that he's sorry for not being able to make it, but he should NOT make you feel guilty about wanting to travel alone. It's not your fault he can't go!
I think your boyfriend is being very selfish and I think that you should go. If he get's ridiculously angry, this should be a warning sign to you.
I understand if he's worried about you traveling alone, but he needs to lighten up. Tell him you'll call him from the road.
Enjoy spending time with yoru sister. Give you boyfriend an extra kiss before you go, and tell him that hey - now he can spend time with the guys.
Have a blast, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): No you certanly should not feel guilty, for it's not your falt that he cant make it on the trip with you, dont let him make you feel guilty.
GO GO GO GIRL have fun!!!!
Let me no how it goes
Emily-jo xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): Sweetheart your going to see your family, no one can get angry at you for that they have no right, He is probably worried and concerned about you going alone i guess, but you can get intouch with him and let him no you are safe and keep intouch with each other while your there love as long as you are carefull in your trip have a great time dont let him make you feel guilty you should be feeling excited hun you go and have a lovely time with your sis
Take care of you xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (8 June 2007):
 No one should say that you have permission to do anything especially when it is visiting your family.
I think your bf has put you under too much pressure already.
He said he was coming with you and now he can't - why should you miss out on seeing your sister and her fiance because he can't go.
I would say that fair enough he may be concerned about your welfare but if you make sure that your family is meeting you the other end, how are you travelling is it via plane or train, bus or car?
I would say that if you have all the information then give that to him so that he can check that you have arrived safely and call him upon your arrival.
How long are you going for?
Does he trust you and does he trust himself about being faithful while you are away?
I would not allow a bf to rule my life and I don't think you should feel guilty about it, he was wrong to make you feel like this.
Have you spoken to your sister about the pressure he has put you under at all?
Take charge and see your family and don't feel guilty, you may have to wait some time before you get the opportunity again.
In the same way though if he has the opportunity to see his family without you then let him and if you can't go then that is fine.
You have to be individuals even if you are in a relationship as that makes life more interesting at the end of the day.
Take care and keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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