A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi me and my wife are due to have a baby girl. Shes 7 months pregnant and has been ok so far but she's been talking about how painful it will be and how scared she is. She wants a natural birth no needdles to take the pain away or anything. She's going into hospital to have it so she's not having it at home or anything(if she can help it) We have been trying for a baby for years. When she was about 19/20 we found out that she wasn't as fertile as a lot of women, she could still have kids but it would be harder. But at that age(we are both the same age) it didn't really both us then. I'm really excited about it but I hate to show it because it shows how scared she is, she even started crying once because she's that scared but as i say she wants a natural birth. I don't know what to say to her, she knows i'll be with her when the time comes, I can't really say it won't be painful because it will, I just don't know what to do. Help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): I gave birth last Dec, without chemical pain relief, and I didn't experience anything I couldn't cope with. I did a relaxation tape throughout my pregnancy and some affirmations/perineal massage in the last few weeks. On the day, I used a TENs machine, acupressure massage (on sides of buttocks - the best help I got!), and birthed in water. The best advice is really to practice relaxation, believe that you can do it - and lots of supportive emotional support from someone who also believes in you. You can certainly do the latter! Oh, it's also helpful to avoid induction, if possible, since I'm told this brings strong contractions on much faster and it can be difficult to cope. The only thing I would do differently the next time is practice controlled breathing, since this also helped. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, cuttieicy  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 Well iam a midwife here in my country it is normal for a woman to get scared. it really does hurt if your baby is Primi ( medicine term for first delivery)woman really screams but after the delivery it will be paid off. When you look a little angel looks like you.if youre going to get a second baby it does not hurt at all thats the general rule. but my friends told me thier first baby it wasnt that hard. just try to be supportive to your wife.When she deliver your presence is the very important. to show your concern thats all.Tell her that you really love her.Its part of human nature. Im not really advice patient go the cesaerian unless it is needed.There are several ways to do first she should exercise there are exercise sutable for pregnant women it can help during the delivery, balance diet,and emtional support thats very very important..
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A
female
reader, cuttieicy +, writes (3 June 2007):
Well iam a midwife here in my country it is normal for a woman to get scared. it really does hurt if your baby is Primi ( medicine term for first delivery)woman really screams but after the delivery it will be paid off. When you look a little angel looks like you.if youre going to get a second baby it does not hurt at all thats the general rule. but my friends told me thier first baby it wasnt that hard. just try to be supportive to your wife.When she deliver you must presence to show your concern thats all.Tell her that you really love her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): hi i can understand your partners fear, firstly she is not alone in feeling this way, a lot of women are terrified by the time labour begins.
a good relationship with a midwife is a good start most are wonderfull and can give exellant advice on pain relief etc, i would advise asking about gas and air in labour as it works fantastic, think about possition too. kneeling up on the bed holding on to the raised pillow end helps as gravity does its job too! get to hospital in plenty of time and ask for gas first thing so she can get used to it, the good thing about it is it wears off imeiadiatly you stop using it. lots of praise from you, especially afterwards. gas and air really does work! i was amazed, would rather give birth than have toothache!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (2 June 2007):
 Perhaps you could find a group of women who are also expecting and planning on a natural birth? Sometimes when you have these anxieties, it makes it a lot easier when you can talk to people who have the same fears. Maybe your wife could talk to someone who has been through natural labor before, or she could go ahead and talk to her midwife.
I think your wife needs to find a supportive group of women to talk to. You keep being the great husband you are and continue to be excited for the birth. Remember, excitement is contagious!! Never lose your enthusiasm!
Congratulations, sweetness! Two more months and the anticipation will be over.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 June 2007):
 I am about your age, just over 3 months pregnant and had all sorts of fertility problems in the past. I can be sympathetic to your wife because I cannot say the prospect of labour fills me with joy either. She needs to talk to her midwife about her anxieties because they are used to women worrying about the pain. It helps if the whole process of labour is as relaxed as possible which means planning in advance about when to go to hospital and what to take. She may have a birth plan that lays out what she would like to happen but in practice I understand these things may go out of the window. It is nice she wishes for natural labour but it is ok to have a little help from painkillers etc as lots of women do! As her partner, all you can do is to try to be supportive and read up on that sticky subject of labour. There are lots of good books out there on how to be an effective birthing partner. She should also know that it is 'good pain' in that she is not hurting out of sickness but rather as a means to an end of a beautiful baby. YOu may also want to look into acupuncture, water births and all these sorts of things as natural pain killers/ labour aids.
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