A
female
age
30-35,
*obyn1701
writes:Hi everyone. My name is Robyn and I'm 17. I've been going through a lot lately and I don't know what to do. All last year I was very ill and I thought at one point I was pregnant. When I found out I wasn't, I was devastated. I want a baby so much.My problem is that my parents paid for my to go to private school because they said I was intelligent. I got really bad AS level results this summer and I don't want to go back to college because I want to have a house and a family with my loving boyfriend of 2 years Chris. But I don't want to let my parents down after they worked so hard for me to get a good education.I don't know what to do. The thought of going back to college is making me ill again, but I can't upset my parents by leaving. I want a baby but I'm only 17 and too young. Chris thinks I am too young too but it's all I want more than anything. What should I do?
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female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 I think that you should stop thinking about what you want for a second, and think about the child. As a parent you should do what is best for the child. Right now you are not ready. Listen to all the good advice and do you and your baby a favor and wait. Stop being so selfish, and give yourself the opportunity to give your child the best possible life that you can.
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (21 August 2007):
 You're the kind of person who wants to nurture. So make yourself the best nurturer possible. Wait until then.
You'll need to have the best situation -- enough money to pay for mommy-and-me classes, and enough money to stay home with the baby. You won't have that unless you finish school and college, and let your partner do the same. Education means more money in your job, and so more money to spend on the child.
Work for a while. Get a great house in a neighborhood with great schools. Build up a savings account and an account for the child's schooling. THEN get pregnant. (And then you'll understand why your parents want you to finish school, because you'll want your child to finish, too.)
Good luck, hun.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Oh, all the other Aunt's have given you such wonderful advice. Listen to them!!
I'm just going to suggest a way to ease the pain. I too love babies and would love one of my own. However, I know that babies are an expensive committment - one that I'm really not ready for what-so-ever (and I'm 21!). So what do I do when those baby urges hit? I bought myself a big plastic bin and started buying baby stuff. Clothes, toys, the whole nine yards. After three years of buying a little something whenever I'm feeling maternal - the stuff has added up! My baby is going to be SET (at least for a little while).
I even bought a little journal that sometimes I write in. "Dear Baby, I can't wait until you're here! School is a pain today, but I know it's worth it."
Perhaps this will help you too? I know it helped me. Besides, baby shoes are so freakin' cute!!
Set an example for your child and further your education!
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Get your education first. It will make you a better mother.
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A
female
reader, Robyn1701 +, writes (21 August 2007):
Robyn1701 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi everyone. Thanks so much for your advice. But I wanted to clarify. I have been with Chris for 2 years and I love him and he loves me. I've never been with anyone else and he knows how badly I want a child. He says he will stick with me no matter what. And college is literally making me ill. I can't be there any more. I see prams and pregnant girls every day. 3 of Chris's best friends all my age have babies and I see them all the time. Chris is a Godfather. I can't just sit here and cry every day and have Chris force me to take the pill and I hate him for it afterwards but I could be sat here with my own child.
I would give up the whole last year of my life to hold my own child in my arms. To have come so close once before and have it taken from me in the blink of an eye. College isn't going anywhere. I could get qualifications from apprenticeships and get money. I hate the way my life is going. I just feel like my parents are living through me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): I was at private school then Uni and my mother was devastated by my decision to leave with my partner and have a baby. I wish I hadn't now 11 years on I am with him and I have wasted my young life. I could be now settling down with someone worthy of me and having my family. I regret not enjoying being young and having fun. Being at home with children is nice but boring. Life changes and you can't get those youg days back PLEASE WAIT you have loads of time.
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A
female
reader, Loobie +, writes (21 August 2007):
 You know deep down that you are too young as you have stated this yourself. Kids a hard work and no child is a text book child, are you really prepared to go through years (believe me it is years NOT months) of sleepless nights and dirty nappies, don't get me wrong I love my 2 children but you need to live first. Finish your education, work for a few years and reconsider in a few years time. I'm not dismissing your feelings, but it's not like buying the wrong dress, you can't take it back when you change yout mind. You sound depressed, so please see your GP, please finish your education first, a better job means that you will be able to provide more for your child without putting all the financial pressure on a partner.
Listen to Chris too as he should have as much of a say in this as you. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): If you're boyfriend already think's you are too young before you've even concieved a child, how can you be sure that he'll stick around till the baby is born? perhaps, he think he's too young too, and not ready.
If that was to happen, surely you wouldn't be able to provide for your child in the same way that you could have if you had been in a relationship in which both partners wanted the child. And surely, you want and would love a child enough to give it the best possible chance in life.
Part of being a parent, is sacrificing your own wants and desires for the sake of your child. Perhaps, waiting until you're older, and in a relationship where both are you ready and have the education enough to gain financial security, would be better for the child.
Mail me if you want to chat.
:)
xx
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Personally i think you are still very young to be considering having a child. Woulden't you rather wait till you are settled financially, obtained you qualification from college and got a good job. Also at 17 im sure there are still things you have yet to do, like holidays with your boyfriend, mates ect, going out having fun. If you have a baby now you will be hard pushed to do any of this. Im not saying having a baby is a bad thing, infact it is a beautiful thing, i just think you boyfriend is right you are maybe a little to young.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (21 August 2007):
 hey babe as much as u dnt wanna hear it, in order to get a house and raise a family u need ur grades n u need to continue into futher education to get a good job. i was completely like you, still am, just you have 2 realise u do infact need to have ur grades :) i hope i helped babe, mail me if u wanna talk x x x
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