A
female
age
30-35,
*ajue
writes:I have troubles relaxing and getting ready for sex, and sometimes when i am having sex all i can think about is things i have to do the next day. What are some things i can do to clear my mind so i can be more alert to pleasure my partner and also help me enjoy it more?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Sex begins in the mind and your mind is full of other cluttered thoughts and stresses. It's a conscious effort to push those things aside and start thinking sexual thoughts. Maybe entertaining a few little fantasies will help put you in the mood. Read a few magazines about what turns guys on, and then start thinking about how you want to utilize them. Seeing yourself as a sexy person also helps. So dress the part. Plan a date with your mate, and dress up in something that's a little sexier than your normally wear. Think about the things single girls do to get the attention of a man and then play it up on your guy. It's all about the attitude. It might also help you to have a few hobbies that get your mind off of work stresses, like kick-boxing, or belly dancing. Working your body will will help you burn off stress and feel more sexy. Good luck.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Well, I think you have to set the mood for yourself. I don't think anyone can just jump into sex - unless they're in that spontaneous mood. Why don't you try building the moment? Have dinner together, have a glass of wine. take a bath together, put on some Al Green... then start the bedroom tango (oh yes, I said it).
When you find yourself distracted, I think it's just because you're not in "the mood". You're not all the way invested. Enjoy kissing for a while and make sure you use lots of foreplay in your bedroom routine!
I think Kenny suggests some great things too. Maybe this is something you should do beyond the bedroom. Work on relaxing yourself in general and taking down the stress load. Meditation is a great way of doing that, maybe sign up for some yoga.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 I think your mind is working over time and you are stressing about things you have not done or have to do. Try relaxing, find a time on your own pull the curtains, maybe light an insence stick and lay back on the sofa and concentrate on your breathing. Call this me time, have half hour or even an hour of bliss concentrating on your breathing and putting all those things that you have yet to complete to rest, and focus on something that is pleasing for you, maybe laying on a tropical beach somewhere.
Also Paul Mckenna does some great relaxation CDs where he takes you into a mindblowing trance, after you feel refreshed and invigorated.
Hope this helps x
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