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... Send *tina a private message | | | *tina's profile:Hi, I'm Stina! I've been an agony aunt here on Dear Cupid since July 2006 and became a site moderator the following November. I've not been able to be on here as much as I used to be, but that's because I've just started a new job. Hopefully I'll be able to be on here much more in the future. But for now, it's office work for me during the day!
Anyway, I grew up being very independent and because of that have always been able to work out problems in my life pretty well. My friends have often times come to me to help sort out what they should do in tough situations, as well. Hopefully I'll be able to help you out if you ever need advice, too! ^_^
As for who I "really" am - I'm 26, an atheist, and married. I live in beautiful Charm City, Murderland with my husband, our three hairless chinese crested pups (Ivy, Zoey, and Duncan), one smooshy floofhead dwarf hamster (Budgie; RIP Dr. Sushi T_T) and one huffy hedgehog (Nacho). I'm a quality assurance engineer and a graphic designer. My artwork has been shown all over the world including the US, France, Algeria, Australia and more. ^_^
I'm also addicted to cute animals, japanese pop culture, reggaeton, 80's hip hop and breakdancing (can't do it!, love to watch it!), experimental and avant garde films, food and tattoos (self designed).
If anyone cares to see a "real" picture of me, you can see one here: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com/profile (Check out my uber-cool snob nose! haha) I'm posting this in hopes that other aunts/uncles will post their pictures. I'm always interested to see what all of us actually looks like! ^_^
I have a myspace and a livejournal, so if you want to know anymore about me for some reason I'll post the links. (If you'd like to add me as a friend on either of these, please just message me here or on either site! I've made my accounts private to keep out the weirdos.)
Livejournal: http://sushi-and-pears.livejournal.com |
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Am I just being silly or am I right to be jealous ?
Q. HELP! I don't know whats wrong, my relationship has been a little up and down recently and I am extremely confused. At a party the other nite a girl was all over my boyfriend, everyone the party noticed and said it to me, there are photo;s too. this ...
A. 31 August 2006: Hi Anon,
This is my take on things: your boyfriend should have said something in the beginning that he already had a girlfriend. It's one thing to talk to someone and have a good time, but it has definitly crossed that border when kissing ... (read in full...)
I want baby with my husband...but he doesn't want this. What can I do to convince him?
Q. I would like a 3rd child, ( I have 2 from my previous relationship, he has no biological children) but my husband is happy with my two, in fact we are in progress of him adopting them) For a year and a half now I have been talking to him about it ...
A. 31 August 2006: Hello Josephine, Both parties have to want to become parents. It's really unfair of anyone to force parenthood on anyone else, don't you think? So that's why the decision lies with him for now. You yourself said "I think the hardest thing is... (read in full...)
I kissed a guy just after he argued with his wife...was I wrong to do that?
Q. i kissed a married guy with kids and enjoyed it, it was after he had an argument with his wife outside the pub, and she punched him in the face. He told me he was gonna leave her and we kissed i would have done more but my friend pulled me away, i ...
A. 31 August 2006: You kissed a MARRIED man and you need to ask someone if there's something wrong with that? Fight or no fight, leave that man alone. While his wife should not have punched him in the face, that whole thing has NOTHING to do with you so you ... (read in full...)
He gets texts from his ex but says I shouldn't have contact with my ex! Double-standard? Is he playing me?
Q. hi i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months now and already we have a problem. ive found out that hes been recieving text messages from his ex-gf and then deleting them straight away, and telling me they are from one of his gay mates. to be ...
A. 31 August 2006: Hello Anon,
I think this guy isn't ready for a committed relationship. There is no reason for him to hide the text messages or lie about them if there's nothing going on with him and his ex. If he gets to talk with his ex, then you should b... (read in full...)
I have an arranged marriage where I serve my husband and his family...but I need a social life, too! Help
Q. 29 yrs old lady , having 3 yrs old baby boy.my husband is of 35 . We got married 5 yrs back .but having conflicts from very beginning.I don't know , that how I explain it. We belong to a Sub-continent family , having so many ethical n religi...
A. 31 August 2006: Hello Anon,
To be blunt, you are being abused on so many levels and you need to seek help and get away from your oppresive husband. There are help lines with people who you can talk to about what is going on in your life. Here are some that I'v... (read in full...)
Love letter, good or bad idea?
Q. There is this guy working at Starbucks who is 18 or 19 years old that I have known for five years and really like. I am interested in starting a relationship with him, so I sent him a letter. Is that a good way to get started with this?...
A. 30 August 2006: Hi Catlova,
Ohhh, that's so sweet!! i'm sure if anything he'll be flattered, even if he does think it's a bit cheesy as b3x says. if you've known him for 5 years, then he probably won't make fun of you for sending a letter, if that's what you... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt over discovering my husbands address book..with names of his lovers. What should I do?
Q. I have been in my relationship for 20 years and have been married for 11 years. We have two children 18 and 9. My husband cheated with his two exes and had two children with them ages 14 and 12. He cheated before we were married and while we were ...
A. 30 August 2006: I'm very glad to hear you are going to try and work things out with your husband. I always think trying to talk things through and work things out are the best ways to go about handling a delicate situation like this. I really hope that things ... (read in full...)
My internet guy was really full on, I travelled back to the US and nothing!?!?
Q. Hi everybody, I have a wierd situation in my hands...I met a guy online...He drove down 2 hours to meet me. I didn't like him so much then. However, I left the US and went back home and then we hooked by via messenger...He was extremely posses...
A. 30 August 2006: Honestly this guy sounds really weird - there are so many negative vibes I'm getting about him from your story. I would cut off all contact with him and hope he never calls you again. There are too many warning signs and it also makes me think ... (read in full...)
Can multiple partners harm you ??
Q. i am a single 23 year old woman and i have been into swinging for some time now but i have only ever done it with one person at a time. coming up soon is a multiple partner party were there are anything from 3 times the amout of men then women t...
A. 30 August 2006: just remember that the pill (and sometimes condoms, especially if they break) doesn't keep you safe from any sexually transmitted diseases. do you know if everyone involved has to be tested beforehand for stds? i would be weary if they are not ... (read in full...)
Does breast size have anything to do with height!?
Q. I'm not a sleazy perv but I'm asking this question out of curiosity. Since some girls breats are bigger or smaller than others, is this more to do with height of the girl. It's just that most tall girls I see have normal size breasts or are smaller ...
A. 30 August 2006: Height has nothing to do with breast size. The size of breasts is determined by genetics, pregnancy, and sometimes a girl's period. I'm sure there are other medical factors, as well, but that is all I could think of off the top of my head (oh, and ... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with ginger?!!
Q. Hi, I dont understand, my boy mate has ginger hair and he finds it really dificult to get girlfriends. but I dont understand it, I have been out with ginger boys, I love ginger hair :D so why wont other girls go out with ginger haired boys???...
A. 30 August 2006: My take on this is that either it's really not his hair that's turning the girls off or else he's trying to get with some pretty shallow-minded girls. Someone nice and genuinely interested in him as a person will come along sometime, though. :)... (read in full...)
I moved in with my gay lover... And the sex moved out
Q. I am gay and have been living with my boyfriend for the past six months. Ever since we moved in together sex has been almost a thing of the past. He just doesn't seem that interested any more. It is so frustrating! When sex does finally occur it...
A. 30 August 2006: Hello Anon, I agree with the last poster - try and spice things up a bit. I googled "Romantic Ideas" and it gave me a ton of links with everything from inexpensive dates to romantic dinners for two, poetry ideas, cheap getaways, and a ton of mor... (read in full...)
She offered herself up for sex and I turned her down! Should I have done that?
Q. hi,theres a girl at school and well we were gettin on real good,and on her birthday the other night,we were both drunk and she got some condoms out of her pocket and offered me sex.i said i gotta go and went home.should i have turned her down?...
A. 30 August 2006: This is my take on her, but there aren't many details in your question, so I'm just going by what it sounds like to me: It sounds like you were respecting her, honestly. (Although I'm not sure if that was your intention?) It seems as though ... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: cripes! way for me to post a billion times - sorry! o_O... (read in full...)
A co-worker has gone behind my back and complained about my job performance... any tips on what I should do?
Q. I work in a fast paced office and there is a lot of office politics there. I am a manager and there is a woman on my team who I know has gone behind my back to the company head and talked about my job performance. My reviews from the rest of my team ...
A. 30 August 2006: Hi Anon, Alright - normally I am like you and would speak directly to this person, but since she has already gotten someone else involved, I would try to set up a meeting with her and your HR Generalist (if you have one). If you don't have one, ... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: (I'm sorry if this posts more than once. I keep getting an error message when I try to post, so I'm assuming it's not getting posted (?))
Hi Anon,
I agree with your friend and the Rachx - the pill is not only just to be used as actual "birth... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt over discovering my husbands address book..with names of his lovers. What should I do?
Q. I have been in my relationship for 20 years and have been married for 11 years. We have two children 18 and 9. My husband cheated with his two exes and had two children with them ages 14 and 12. He cheated before we were married and while we were ...
A. 30 August 2006: Hello Anon,
First I must address a couple of things:
- From martini: "First and foremost, do you have the capabilities to take care of your children on your own?" If you don't, that's okay because there are laws in place that make sure he wil... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: (I'm sorry if this is posted a billion times, but the screen keeps saying error, so I'm assuming it's not posting (?).)
Hi Anon,
I agree with your friend and the Rachx - the pill is not only just to be used as actual "birth control" but it ... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: I agree with your friend and the Rachx - the pill is not only just to be used as actual "birth control" but it helps to regulate your period, as well. In many people, it not only helps to curb the amount of flow, but also helps to eliminate much of ... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: I agree with your friend and the Rachx - the pill is not only just to be used as actual "birth control" but it helps to regulate your period, as well. In many people, it not only helps to curb the amount of flow, but also helps to eliminate much of ... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: I agree with your friend and the Rachx - the pill is not only just to be used as actual "birth control" but it helps to regulate your period, as well. In many people, it not only helps to curb the amount of flow, but also helps to eliminate much of ... (read in full...)
How do i know if my husband is unfaithful?
Q. how do i know if my husband is unfaithful? He is suddenly not interested in sex. He critisizes me constantly He ogles other women. He wants to have a penis enlargement. He is suddenly working late often. He spends money (up to R1000) ev...
A. 29 August 2006: I totally agree with Lostandalone. He made some excellent points and suggestions. So I don't have much to add... But I have to stress this: do NOT lie to him and pretend that you found panties his your car (or anywhere else). Two wrongs don't... (read in full...)
Is there different ways for a termination of a pregnancy?
Q. I am worried I might be pregnant. I do not want to go to clinic for an abortion. is there an alternate way of termination?...
A. 29 August 2006: Depending on how far along you are, there are pills you can take (the morning after pill that are to be taken w/in the first 72 hours of intercourse, etc). Contact your ob/gyn to find out more options. You could also call up the clinic if you ... (read in full...)
I'm miserable and don't know how to be happy! Can anyone help?
Q. I always feel miserable. Everyone around me is having a great time and always happy, and I'm always miserable. I can't smile because I always look like an idiot when I do, but I don't know what has caused it but I don't know how to be happy. C...
A. 29 August 2006: You should visit your doctor and tell him/her what's been going on. They might be able to help you figure out what's going on and/or perscribe some meds that will help you get back your normal feelings. Until then, you could try taking St. Johns... (read in full...)
She flirts with me-her bf doesn't bothered by it-should I ask her out?
Q. hello. i'm 31 my problem is i have very strong feelings for a lady i know. my friend has told her friend i've got a thing for her. whenever i see her she's all smiles and readily talks. on one occasion her friends left the pub and came back later ...
A. 29 August 2006: I wouldn't ask her out until she is single. If you go out with her when she is already in an exclusive relationship with someone, then it seems like that's just asking for trouble. Next time she starts to flirt with you, honestly I would not flirt ... (read in full...)
I love him but he says he will never go out with me!
Q. i love my best friend and he knows but he fools around and teases me because i love him. he says he will never go out with me because im 3 grades lower than him. please help i really love him,...
A. 29 August 2006: He is using you. I suggest either not having as much contact with him (because what he is doing is incredibly selfish and he obviously doesn't care about your feelings) or if you want to remain friends then don't do anything sexual with him at all. ... (read in full...)
He still talks to her like once a week
Q. Please help me figure this out. My bf says he is over his ex but something is telling me he's not. This was 2 years ago when they broke up. He still talks to her like once a week until I told him no. She recently got married and now he is talking ...
A. 29 August 2006: I agree with David Lewis, it seems as though your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex. It doesn't really seem fair of you to tell him he can't talk to her, though. This just hides the fact that he still wants to maintain a relationship on some ... (read in full...)
My fiancee has a gal pal and her parents hate me! They say I am spoiling their plans, for their daughter to marry my guy!
Q. Hi there, I need some advice on getting through to my fiance. He has known this girl since school and knows her family well, I started going out with my fiance 3 years ago, and met these people he is friends with. The father instantly didnt like me ...
A. 28 August 2006: Okay, this is going to be a bit tricky and require a lot of patience on your part, but what I would do is ignore them. The next time you have to be around these jerks, hold your head up high and don't let their unclassy ways bother you. They are ... (read in full...)
My best friend slept with my crush!! Should I forgive her?
Q. My best friend slept with my crush. ive had a crush on a guy named pete for 5 years now and i HAD the bestest friend ever. She helped me get with my crush and she said we were perfect together and i was pleased that she did all of this for me. ...
A. 28 August 2006: it sounds like your friend was jealous of you - that someone finally liked you over her. and the guy knew that you liked him because you both just told each other, but he still slept with your friend (which in my mind reads "loser"). I think they ... (read in full...)
We broke-up, he says he wants me back but he is abusive
Q. my boyfriend brokeup with me and he wants to get back with me and i love him, but lately he has been abusive and i dont know what to do. he says he nothing without me and wants to kill himself because i wont take him back. what should i do?...
A. 28 August 2006: he is manipulating you - do not fall for his tricks. he will not kill himself. if you truly think he would do this, then you need to call the police and notify them of his behavior. ou don't need someone in your life like this - he's selfish and... (read in full...)
My wife won't learn how to cook properly. Does she not love me enough?
Q. I used to scoff at the adage that the way to a man's heart is through stomach but my wife is making me to do a re-think. We've been married now for over 10 years and have three lovely children. My wife has been a good wife and mother. I have a very ...
A. 28 August 2006: Two simple solutions:
1. You do the cooking
2. Carry out
(BTW - are you living in the now or in the 1950's? lol I'm amazed that you even "let" her work instead of making her stay pregnant and barefoot. Sheesh. Sorry, but as a woman I fin... (read in full...)
Is Two Years Too Much?
Q. I'm almost 16. I've been getting close to this guy that just graduated (he's 18). We've been talking on phone/computer and now he wants to take me on a date. (He's from my school, not some random guy, we just never talked before) Some of my guy f...
A. 28 August 2006: I agree with bonym, I didn't even think that was considered an age gap! Your guy friends might be telling you this because they're a little jealous of you being with someone who is older -- When I dated a 21 year old (I was 17), some guys at my ... (read in full...)
Tatoo turn off!!! How do I tell her?
Q. I have a dilemma. My girlfriend has a tattoo. It's not very large, and its right in the small of her back. The problem is, I really don't like it, and for a bad reason. A tattoo in that spot just has negative associations for me: 'tramp stamp' an...
A. 28 August 2006: "I'm torn between telling her, based on the notion that it's good to be open and to share, and keeping it bottled up, because it's not a nice thing to say or hear." There is nothing to gain by telling her you do not like something that is very ... (read in full...)
Liked this guy so I made up a false persona on msn messenger. Now he wants to meet me! What should I do?
Q. I have liked this guy at my school for 2 years, and we got put in the same class this year. well he is really quiet and shy and never talks 2 anyone or is at school much. i wanted 2 see what kinda person he was, so i added him to msn. However i ...
A. 28 August 2006: Okay, if this response sounds a little over-emotional it's because I've had someone do this sort of thing to me in my life: I think you need to be straight with this guy. Explain what you did and why you did it. My feeling is that he will be ... (read in full...)
I tried a move on him and he rejected me
Q. Please I need some advice, because I have totally made myself look like an "ass". Basically, I was going out with a man for many many years, and we broke up a couple of months ago. So, we decided to meet up for the first time ever since our break ...
A. 28 August 2006: he probably didn't kiss you because he hasn't yet broken up with his girlfriend. it's a good sign though, because that shows he has respect (for the both his gf and you!). don't bring up the kiss anymore. try to hang out with him again in the ... (read in full...)
The bad timing of my period!
Q. My boyfriend has been away for 2 months and he's coming home later this week. I just got my period today and I was really hoping we could be together on the night he came home. Does anyone know any tricks or have some advise for making your period ...
A. 28 August 2006: One of my friends takes a bath and it helps her keep it at bay for a few hours. You might want to try that (although it hasn't ever worked for me. heh heh) But we all have different body types so it might help you! Good luck. :)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and domestic violence!
Q. what should i do my girlfreind is having bad mood swings no matter what i do she keeps screaming and shouting at me shes even kicked me in the face and broke my nose punched me and thrown stuff at me when i ask whats wrong she just seems to get more ...
A. 28 August 2006: I think the two of your seriously should go to counseling together. She obviously has anger problems - I think it would be very beneficial for her to talk to a therapist about this if she doesn't want to go to couples counseling.
Does she go t... (read in full...)
We spend so much time together - is it normal?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We have a great relationship and are now beginning to move forward woth our relationship and working on plans to move in together. We were wondering whether our current situation is ...
A. 28 August 2006: If you're unhappy about this, then maybe you two should have some alone time or go out with your own friends apart from each other. Then you might have more to talk about.
Otherwise, if you're fine with it, then it's no big deal - I would on... (read in full...)
I have cheated
Q. i have bein going out with my boyfreind for a year and a half he his my soul mate, i have recently cheated on him with someone reaaly special and means alot to me, i dont know how i feel abot him cause a ge reallt jealous of him being with other ...
A. 28 August 2006: I think that if you cheated on your "soul mate" with someone "really special" then you need to break it off with the both of them and sort out your feelings. you are being really selfish and you can't treat people this way. how would you like it ... (read in full...)
His grandad says we're cousins but I am adopted
Q. im 17 and recently started seeing a lad who lives near me. we were at his grandads one night and thought everyone was in bed when his grandad walked in the living room and caught us laid on the floor kissing eachother, i dont know how long he was ...
A. 28 August 2006: if you're not related by blood, then it really doesn't matter. i don't see what the big deal is - if you're happy then stay with this guy - it seems like you two had a great relationship before the grandfather started tromping all over it. try to ... (read in full...)
I don't want the boys to be put off me if I'm overweight, so what is the normal weight for a 14 year old girl?
Q. Weighty issues!! what is the normal weight for a 14 yr old girl i get the feeling that i am over weight and i get really concious about it especially round guys when i hug a guy i breathe in as i don't want them to no what my body feels like i ...
A. 9 July 2006: Hey - well it all depends on your height and your frame. There's a website that I found that might help you out, although I'd really suggest talking to your doctor and just use the site's info as an informal guide. Anyway, here is the address:
... (read in full...)
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