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female
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anonymous
writes: i am a single 23 year old woman and i have been into swinging for some time now but i have only ever done it with one person at a time.coming up soon is a multiple partner party were there are anything from 3 times the amout of men then women to about 10 time more men then women.i really want to do this party but i am wondering if doning something like this can harm me. i am on the pill and these partys are no holds bar and i am fine with that but can that many people damage me?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 I am not going to comment on your lifestyle choice as you are a single adult who must make your own decisions. The problem with swinging is the health risks. Most people think you are protected from STD's by condom use but it is simply not true. Dr Pete raised the issue of HPV - the problem with HPV is that it is transmitted by skin to skin contact and a condom doesn't protect you against that. HPV is associated with a much increased risk of cervical and anal cancer and there are no physical signs on your person - only a blood test can show if you have it. There are all sorts of injuries that can be incurred with group sex - you will find a lot of people there into the S&M scene and they maybe looking for a more forceful sexual encounter that you may not be happy with and not really aware of what they are attempting until you are in the middle of it and being hurt. It has to be easier to communicate on a one 2 one basis. Moreover, repeated sexual encounters over a short period of time can make you very sore and walking like a bow-legged donkey for several days afterwards. If you really are going to do this, you need to be very clear about your boundaries with your partners as it could get all rather confused in the middle of an orgy! If you are doing this because you enjoy it then that is ok (provided you accept the health risks and tell your future partners about your lifestyle), but if you are doing this because you don't think you can do better then you should work on those issues and not be using these parties as a substitute for what you really want out of life.
A
female
reader, b3x +, writes (30 August 2006):
 I disagree with the 'whore' comment, this site is about giving advice not discriminating people's lives. Obvioulsy there are people here who have not grown up yet...sigh
Just PLEASE, make sure you protect yourself, make sure you do whatever it takes to know you are safe from STD's etc etc and also the fact your sleeping with a random person basically! If you are unsure about which is the best contraception there are millions of sites and people you can talk to about these things.
You say you've done it before and enjoyed it, its your personal life if you feel happy with this then do it. Please look out for yourself though, I'm actually worried for you! Don't do anything you are not happy with, if you don't like what they are imposing get up and leave!
Take care of yourself though honey x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): Sorry to have an old fashioned viewpoint, but WHAT THE HELL!!! I was hoping I might come across an answer that steered you away from this, but everyone seems quite middle of the road in their response.Please have more respect for yourself - get a vibrator or something - you can really only have an extremely poor opinion of yourself if you feel it right to attend one of these swinging or 'dogging' parties. The people that attend these are ill im afraid, as NO ONE needs this sort of exploitation.You WILL get an STD at one of these if you dont ensure everyone wears a condom, or you wear a femidom. But then maybe you dont care? Maybe the rush of this orgy is more important to you - if it is, then great, go for it, im sure our tax contributions will help you clear up some of the STD's you contract, unfortunately it will not rid you of aids or the psychological disturbance you will experience in later life.STEER CLEAR.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 The pill is good to be on given your lifestyle, but you should be using condoms as well. Otherwise you could end up with a collection of STDs, perhaps even an incurable one. You probably are, you just didn't mention it.
Other than that any physical damage you get is likely to be along the lines of a sports injury, chafing, strains, swellings, bruises, and so on.
I'll hold off on any moral judgement, but bear in mind that you are likely to encounter strong opinions on your behaviour in the future. You might find the damage caused by too many people knowing what you have done and judging you, worse than anything physical.
Be careful and make sure you look after yourself.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 just remember that the pill (and sometimes condoms, especially if they break) doesn't keep you safe from any sexually transmitted diseases.do you know if everyone involved has to be tested beforehand for stds? i would be weary if they are not and i recommend not going if this is the case. there are too many setbacks of getting std's (infertility, cancer, sometimes death, and other physical changes like what herepes can cause), especially if it was just from a fling with someone at a party.if you do end up going, i suggest you go get tested afterward to make sure you didn't pick up anything from anyone there. hopefully they'll be able to treat whatever it is that you may have contracted.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Being on the pill wont protect from an STD will it? There are too many diseases knocking about these days, and you really need to be careful. Please be careful if you do go. Take care. xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): Wow, sounds like quite a meat market going on that those parties, haha.
The more men you have sex with the more likely you are to pick up an infection with a high risk (cancer causing) HPV virus. This makes you at more risk of developing cervical cancer.
Maybe before having sex with these guys you could ask them if they keep themselves clean and hygienic?
I'm sure there are probably other ways of being "damaged" too.
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