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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi there, I need some advice on getting through to my fiance.He has known this girl since school and knows her family well, I started going out with my fiance 3 years ago, and met these people he is friends with. The father instantly didnt like me and said things such as "I'm spoiling his plans of his daugher and my fiance getting married', (even though my fiance has only ever liked the girl AS A FRIEND.Now last night I had to go to a birthday party over at theres and was made to feel like i am not good enough for my fiance and the parents of the girl making remarks like "i cant wait to see 'my fiances female friend's Father dead", which I was upset about.My fiance just seems to think I'm being awkward about them, but Im not, theyv made me feel unwelcome and not part of a group of friends.I dont know how to get it through to my fiance that they're horrible to me and he shouldn't be letting them talk to me like that.I just feel so hurt and its been going on three years and I dont know what to do, as me and my fiance love each other alot!
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Okay, this is going to be a bit tricky and require a lot of patience on your part, but what I would do is ignore them. The next time you have to be around these jerks, hold your head up high and don't let their unclassy ways bother you. They are the ones who are making themselves look like idiots. I seriously doubt that anyone is taking them seriously, and neither should you. (And really, if their daughter is really that great, then why doesn't she have someone else by now?)I suggest also talking to your fiance about these people again - tell him that you need to have a serious discussion about it and tell him everything that is on your mind. I don't think he realizes how uncomfortable this is making you feel. And that might actually be on purpose - he could be trying to avoid a huge conflict between the people he really cares about in his life by "choosing" what he wants to hear. Remind him that you need to work together because you are going to need to have this sort of communication if you plan on getting married.Of course, you could always opt out of going to another get together at their house if you really can't bare the thought of seeing these morons again.
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 He'll probably like the attention of two girls wanting and bickering over him. If he 'loved' you, would he put you through this?
Is it realistic to cool off and face him rationally with your side of things and ask him to reverse the situation. I'm afraid if he is aware this girl's family have set their eyes on him as marriage partner to their daughter, then 'friends' has to finish and a choice has to be made. Can you accept his likely answer?
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