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male
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anonymous
writes: what should i do my girlfreind is having bad mood swings no matter what i do she keeps screaming and shouting at me shes even kicked me in the face and broke my nose punched me and thrown stuff at me when i ask whats wrong she just seems to get more pissed off ive tried everything i can think of but it cant keep going on these mood swings have been going on for about 2 months yet it seems to be getting worse and worse im starting to feel like theres no way out im 20 shes 19 and i love her but i cant talk to her properly about how i feel because im worried it might just flare up again please i need some advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 I think the two of your seriously should go to counseling together. She obviously has anger problems - I think it would be very beneficial for her to talk to a therapist about this if she doesn't want to go to couples counseling.
Does she go to school? Many times there are therapists at school who can speak to people and help them for free. This is extremely unhealthy for her (not to mention for you) and if she can't afford going to a regular therapist, the school staff is always an option.
I know that birth control can change a girl's moods - if she's taking it, she should talk to her doctor about her behavior. Is she on any other medication that could be contributing to her behavior? Has anything happened recently in her life that might cause her to act unusual like this - a miscarriage or something else just as traumatic? I suppose you probably shouldn't talk to her about it too much because she might lash out, which makes this a very sticky situation since you would really like to help her.
If she doesn't want to try and get help for this, I really think it would be a good idea to distance yourself from her. Nobody deserves to be physically assaulted, especially from someone who is supposed to love them.
By the way, if she's like this toward you, have you considered telling someone else that's close with her about what's been going on? A friend of hers, her mom, etc - maybe they could talk to her about going to counseling. Maybe a friend of hers would be better to talk to about this, because it sounds like she takes those people in her life that are close to her for granted. Family members, she might think, will be around forever. Maybe she wouldn't act so violent with a friend of hers because there's no "rule" that that person would have to stick around.
I really hope you can help her work this out, because she needs it. Good luck.
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female
reader, bonnismiles +, writes (28 August 2006):
 i think your girlfriend need some help for anger i think she had a bad past maybe and she is keeping it bottled up when she should let itout tell her mate she needs to talk cause you aint no punch bag your a human being like everyone else cheersxx
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Domestic violence is often portrayed as the man beating the woman up, but the reverse is surprisingly common. No one has the right to hurt you physically or emotionally. I appreciate it maybe difficult to admit to the violence to people in your social circle as men feel embarrassed about being beaten up by a woman BUT...no one has the right to hurt you. If you stand for this treatment then it ruins your self respect but also does nothing to get this girl to deal with her anger issues. She needs to get anger management treatment and unless you start imposing conditions on your relationship (Get help or I am leaving...) then nothing will change. You maybe passive to her violence but lots of men won't be. If she doesn't change now and lashes out at another man in the future or an aggressive woman then she may end up getting seriously hurt. My point is that you should make it clear to her that violence is unacceptable to you, and withdraw from this relationship if she continues to abuse you. It may trigger her to seek help for her problem if she sees you leaving.
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