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female
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anonymous
writes: how do i know if my husband is unfaithful? He is suddenly not interested in sex.He critisizes me constantlyHe ogles other women.He wants to have a penis enlargement.He is suddenly working late often.He spends money (up to R1000) every month that he cannot account for.
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Knickers in the car??? What if he has never had sex in the car - you would well and truly have egg on your face!!
Just keep your eye open for clues - and yes, a great idea to 'surprise' him with a lovely meal at work...he may just end up wearing it - all over HIS face!
Have you considered what you will do should the truth finally come out? Be prepared! Good luck..
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (29 August 2006):
 I totally agree with Lostandalone. He made some excellent points and suggestions. So I don't have much to add...But I have to stress this: do NOT lie to him and pretend that you found panties his your car (or anywhere else). Two wrongs don't make a right and you would be sinking to his level of being dishonest. Plus, if you still really care about him (which it seems you do) why would you want to lie to him? Isn't this the reason that there is trouble going on - trust issues? Lying never solves anything.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (29 August 2006):
 Yes, Lostandalone has given some great advice, just what I would say, break his usual routine and then you will soon find out what he may or may not be up to.
You need to tell him to stsrt showing you some respect as well, the cheeky mare! He has no right to ogle other women. Good luck. xXx
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (29 August 2006):
 I'm sorry but it sounds fishy to me too. There is always a routine that he follows. Break it. Pop up at his job when he is working late and bring dinner. When he ogles other women call him on it because thats direspectful. Don't pressure him for the truth because you won't get it. Just turn up the heat and watch him squirm. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): What about a gambling/drug addiction?
What do the bank statements say? You are able to get the mail and open them to see what bank statements say.
Have you thought to hire a private detective?
What about marriage counseling to address his verbal abuse?
Call up his boss and tell him you miss seeing him in the evening and can he please let up at letting him stay late.
Extra hours could mean extra cash for his penis enlargement. I don't know why he would want this as his penis will not get as hard and it would only add under an inch. Has he or you looked into the facts behind penis enlargement?
Would it surprise him if you asked for breast implants then as well as to have the butt firmed?
Say if he wants the enlargement you want that and we better start saving. Throw him off.
See what he says to that.
Other than that it sounds like the marriage has soured and to address this best, it would be advisable to see a marriage counselor.
This sound very bedroom centred unhappiness on his side of things which men do put alot of stalk in.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, shell26 +, writes (29 August 2006):
Hide a pair of panties in the car and act like your going to get something and pull them out and go crazy saying these arent mine whos are they and keep asking him, he will give in.
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A
female
reader, shell26 +, writes (29 August 2006):
Hide a pair of panties in the car and act like your going to get something and pull them out and go crazy saying these arent mine whos are they and keep asking him, he will give in.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): touch his gentle region and watch for the magic
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A
female
reader, Girithlain +, writes (29 August 2006):
The points you have made about his behaviour could very well point to cheating, but they could also point to a number of other problems such as depression, or a tough boss. Communication is obviously a problem with these issues, and so I think you already know the answer to this question I'm afraid. You will never know for sure unless you ask him. And even then, you may not be convinced he is telling you the truth. It's a hard subject to breach, but if you want to find out the truth, it is the only way. However, the pain and anguish he is obviously causing you is not ok, regardless of whether or not he is cheating. I think it would be possible to kill both birds with one stone, by pointing out that his behaviour is hurting you and causing you suspicions towards his fidelity. You can ask him to give his answer as a response to the hurt he is causing you without outright accusing him of cheating, which only ever causes our partners to dig their heels in and fight. It's a difficult situation for both of you (remember that when you talk to him and try to stay calm and relate - not easy, I know, but it's essential if you want an honest answer), and I send the best wishes and luck for you and your family.
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