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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have liked this guy at my school for 2 years, and we got put in the same class this year. well he is really quiet and shy and never talks 2 anyone or is at school much. i wanted 2 see what kinda person he was, so i added him to msn. However i didnt tell it was me, I told him my name was "Jess". We became mates and started talkin for like 5 hours at a time.. he confided in me a lot of stuff, like about his bad childhood and depression etc. he says i'm one of the few people he really likes. he tells me stuff about people spreading shit about him at our school and how he has few friends cause hes shy. he thinks i go 2 another school. Oh, and I sent him a fake picture.. of some random model.i asked if he knew "me" and he said he did know who i was..knew i had a tv show, but had never spoken 2 me before (i listed a bunch of people from school and said i knew them) i was thinking of saying 2 him.. you should talk to my friend (me) shes nice... and she said some good things about you when i asked her about you.I know this was a completly screwed up thing to do, and I feel terrible about it now. We graduate in only two months, and my plan all along was to tell him how I felt about him on the last day. I just wanted to get to know him first.. and then add him as me somehow. However, it's all messed up because he is really attached to Jess.. keeps telling her how wonderful she is, and beautiful. And he wants to meet up. I was only planning on using Jess once, but it went further than I intended.Well, I don't know exactly what to do now. Should I expain to him who I really am, even though it might mess up my chances of ever getting with him? Or should I just use Jess one more time, and introduce the real me into the picture somehow (without looking too suss) Regardless, I know this has to stop now. Please help. Thanks.
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Okay, if this response sounds a little over-emotional it's because I've had someone do this sort of thing to me in my life:I think you need to be straight with this guy. Explain what you did and why you did it. My feeling is that he will be angry, hurt, disgusted, used, and violated; you lead him on and now you know all of his personal stuff! He told you his innermost secrets and all you did was tell him lies. Awful. I wouldn't expect him to want to hang out after you let tell him what you've been doing, but he deserves to know what happened to him.Let this be a learning lesson to you both - for you, don't be fake and use tricks to get friends or get close to someone, it never works and it ends up hurting everyone in the end; for him, don't tell your personal life history to some weirdo on the internet.And as for you "introducing" yourself to him - I would do him a favor and just step out of his life - he doesn't need anyone like you around. I know that when this happened to me, the sight of the person who did that made me physically ill.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2006): i'm not gonna lie, that's a little creepy. creating a false identity just to get to talk to someone? who would've thought? i don't know how you managed to get yourself into this, but you're gonna have to tell him the truth. and i wouldn't blame him for being pissed. he started placing trust into you, which for him, is apparently really difficult. and if i were him, and i found out that the person i trusted had been lying to me about who they were the whole time, i'd be furious. you don't play games like that with people who have issues. that's pretty selfish. anyway, you have to tell him the truth. maybe he won't respond the way that i would??
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (27 August 2006):
 Personally, I think you should try to come clean. You say he is attached to 'Jess', I take this to mean the personality of Jess 'YOU'.
I think you should try to eplain your real identity, but fully explain your reasons for creating a fake ID. Tell him you created it so you could get to talk to him as you felt he would not talk to you if he knew who you really were. If this guy is attached to you, I am sure he would appreciate your honesty and reasons, it would probably flatter him.
Best of luck
x
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