A
male
 ,
*taffordboy
writes:hello. i'm 31 my problem is i have very strong feelings for a lady i know. my friend has told her friend i've got a thing for her. whenever i see her she's all smiles and readily talks. on one occasion her friends left the pub and came back later for her as we were talking so much. whenever we get chatting she pushes her body against me and talks very closely. i've noticed her talking with other men she knows and she doesn't behave like this or flirt with them, nor does she behave like this if she's out with her boyfriend - my problem. i would've already asked her out if it wasn't for this fact. he's a cold person and they've had a few up and downs. i don't like him and he's seen me chatting with her and doesn't seem bothered. i know she likes me but should i just forget it or phone her (got her number from a mutual friends phone months ago)and tell her how I feel and ask her if there's a chance between us and risk upsetting things?
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male
reader, staffordboy +, writes (15 July 2007):
staffordboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs an update, all of a sudden the girl last november stopped talking to me and ignored me/would look the other way if she saw me. I though o.k., you've got one on you. New year eve I saw her and asked if she was talking to me and she repleid "no". I wished her the best of luck for the new year and left it as that. However she split up with her boyfriend in January. Last week I was with my cousin who is very pretty having a drink in a pub when she and her a couple of friends came in. Before she realised that I was with someone, she gave me a really nice smile. When she realised I was somebody she kept glancing across the room. When they left, she gave me another smile but in a more uneasy way. I realised how much I still like her but to be honest I've decided the ball will stay in her court, and if she's interested its up to her to get a message across. I've decided to go with the flow and chill out and whatever will be will be!
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (29 August 2006):
 I wouldn't ask her out until she is single. If you go out with her when she is already in an exclusive relationship with someone, then it seems like that's just asking for trouble. Next time she starts to flirt with you, honestly I would not flirt back. It seems like she might be the kind of girl to cheat on her guy and you don't want to be the one she cheats with. Plus if she plans on staying with this boyfriend of hers, it will just make you feel even more crappy if you are lead on by her. It doesn't seem worth it to me.(PS - *all* relationships have ups and downs, please don't use this as an excuse to get with her, you know?)
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (29 August 2006):
 Some people enjoy flirting if they click with someone and they may also be attracted to the person. Some may also be thinking of an affair yet some may be absolutely horrified by that thought. She may be doing it because she knows you like her and is playing a game. It may all be subconsciously. Or.... she may actually genuinely like you and wishes she could be with you. If you think that's the case, maybe try something you already did....talk to your friend who talks to her friend and find out. But my advice is, if it turns out she likes you, talk personally to this lady and tell her how you feel but that nothing would ever happen between you unless she breaks away from her boyfriend..... and stick to that. If she's not prepared to leave him or it turns out that she doesn't want you, I'd politely ask her to stop flirting as it leaves you a little confused.
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