A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Please help me figure this out. My bf says he is over his ex but something is telling me he's not. This was 2 years ago when they broke up. He still talks to her like once a week until I told him no. She recently got married and now he is talking marriage with me which makes me think he just wants to kind of 'get even'. He talks about her alot, or more than I would like him too. Im just tired of her name coming up and stuff. I really love him and I know he at least likes me (weve been dating for 6 months) but I just can't get over this ex gf. What can I do? When I talk to him he gets mad and says Im crazy.
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female
reader, shell26 +, writes (29 August 2006):
Hes not over her hes mad at her. Hes using you as his rebound girl get out while you still can
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (29 August 2006):
 I agree with David Lewis, it seems as though your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex. It doesn't really seem fair of you to tell him he can't talk to her, though. This just hides the fact that he still wants to maintain a relationship on some sort of level with her from you.What you need to do is sit down and have a serious discussion with your guy about his feelings. Let him know that it's bothering you that you feel he is still attached in a romantic way to his ex. Tell him that you'd rather know now, because if he still loves her, now might not be the best time to start a new relationship. That will just frustrate him (and you!). It's better to know about these things sooner than later so you don't get too attached to him. But there's a bright side, maybe after talking together, you'll in fact find out that he really does just like her as a friend (it is possible this is the case). He might just be looking out for her. (Also I read that he says you are getting mad and crazy - is this because you tend to yell and get too overemotional? Try to maintain a kind, yet assertive attitude. This way it won't make him feel like he's "in trouble." It will make him feel like sharing his emotions with you instead of hiding them for fear of being yelled at.)I would also advise against getting married, especially if you think he's just talking about it to get even with her. Regardless of his intentions, my personal opinion is that people should wait at least 2 - 3 years before making such a serious commitment. That way you can get to know your partner even more (which seems like something you need to do).This sort of problems is one of the hardest to deal with, but with patience and trust it can work out. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (29 August 2006):
 How does he still talk to her? Do they live close or work close?
It does seem like he still harbours some feelings for her, I also think the marriage idea is a NO NO at the moment too. I think you are thinking along the right lines about him wanting to marry you to get even. Have you thought about relationship counselling? This may be a good idea, as he obviously has no regard for your feelings towards his ex and he does not really let you try to talk to him about it.
Good luck
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