| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: hi,theres a girl at school and well we were gettin on real good,and on her birthday the other night,we were both drunk and she got some condoms out of her pocket and offered me sex.i said i gotta go and went home.should i have turned her down?
View related questions:
condom, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): I think you did the right thing. The fact that you were both drunk was probably a good reason to turn down sex. You both might have regretted it the next morning. If you turned her down because you didn't want to take advantage of a girl while she's "incapacitated", then good for you, you are a gentleman. But if she does seem offended next time you see her, maybe a short explanation wouludn't go astray.
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Well there must have been a reason why you rejected her, if you were drunk at and thats the time when most people have spur of the moment sex, then you must not really, deep down like her that much? You are asking whether you should have turned her down or not, well only you can answer that. I cant say well "she was pretty so why didnt you just do it" or something else. If you truly like her then understand that she is probably feeling embarrassed and hurt right now, so you need to decide if you want to go out with her if not, leave her to move on. Take care. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 This is my take on her, but there aren't many details in your question, so I'm just going by what it sounds like to me:It sounds like you were respecting her, honestly. (Although I'm not sure if that was your intention?) It seems as though you did not take advantage of her being drunk so you could get it on with her, which I think is really nice. She may have been offended, but I think you did the right thing. Try going out with her when you're both sober and if she still wants to do it, then you know it just wasn't the alcohol talking the last time and you both can make a clear decision on what you want to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 I would say that she probably took you by surprise, and you panicked..are you usually the one to make the first move?
You did the right thing anyhow, in my eyes, as you were both drunk, and it could have been seen as though you were taking advantage of her - even if she was carrying condoms. I heard (in British law) - that taking advantage of someone who is drunk can now be classified as rape, so you did well to be careful - if that was the reason you bolted?
If you still would like to pursue this girl, talk to her, she may be annoyed at the moment - not to say a little hurt, but if she sees that you are interested, and didnt mean her to feel bad about it, (you could even tell her you do not know why you made such a quick exit!) - but she should understand... Just talk to her!
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Why did you turn her down?
If it was because you don't find her attractive, or have any desire to be in a relationship with her, or because the moment wasn't right, then you did the right thing.
If it was only because you were nervous and scared about it, then you probably didn't.
But if you now realize you really do want to have sex with her, then the offer might still stand. Go arrange a date.
Either way, unless you gave her a clear explanation, she'd almost certainly like one. She'll be thinking you don't find her attractive, right about now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): Should you have turned her down?
[sighing profusely]
By asking us if you should turn it down or not, what are your trying to achieve? Are you trying to see what we would have done, or are you trying to see whether what we think you should or should not have done is the correct thing?
[coughs]
What do you think? Should you have turned her down?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): that's strictly up to you. you're the only one who can decide if you wanted it or not. just because a girl wants it, doesn't mean that you have to want it, too. don't feel bad. obviously you weren't ready, or something was holding you back. so when you're ready, you'll know.
...............................
|
