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female
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anonymous
writes:im 17 and recently started seeing a lad who lives near me. we were at his grandads one night and thought everyone was in bed when his grandad walked in the living room and caught us laid on the floor kissing eachother, i dont know how long he was there because we didnt hear him come in but all of a sudden he started going and crazy shouting at us and kicked us out of his house. we didnt understand what problem was at first because he'd seen stuff like that before and never said anything, we had 2 go back because my bf lives with his grandparents and didnt really have anywhere else to go.he was still too mad 2 even look at me when we went back so i stayed out of the way for a while when my bf came back he explained that apparently were second cousins and his grandad thought it was disgusting that we were together. i didnt no what to think and i still dont im close to all my cousins and im kinda mad no1 had even told us before, i had seen his grandad before but i thought he was just a family friend.now i dont see why its so important im adopted so its not even like its blood or anything and i love him more than anything but everythings falling apart coz oof this. i really dont want to leave him but his grandads causing so much trouble he came to see my dad last week and kept saying how sick and wrong it is and that we sould be kept apart, now its got to point we meet in secret because we feel so guilty about it. his grandad can be so nasty and ive started to feel like ive done something dirty and wrong everytime we have sex now and my bf doesnt understand whats wrong when i cry he thinks its his fault and im scared im going to lose him over it. he just thinks its because he's old fashioned and set in his ways and doesnt let it bother him.he's 21 and im 18 in a few month and it feels like were sneaking around like naughty little kids.is this really so bad or is he over reacting? i dont know what to do everything was so perfect now its just a mess.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): If you were adopted in your family then yourself and your boyfriend aren't biologically related so there is no problem whatsoever.
That said, there isn't really any problem with 2nd cousins being together anyway.
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 if you're not related by blood, then it really doesn't matter. i don't see what the big deal is - if you're happy then stay with this guy - it seems like you two had a great relationship before the grandfather started tromping all over it. try to ignore him - it will be hard - but remember he's from another generation (and thankfully that way of thinking is starting to die off.) Nobody should feel they have a say in who the both of you see - expecially your boyfriend since he is an *adult*. And you're almost 18 so I don't see why this man feels the need to butt into your relationship anyway. this is serious relationship stuff - not a preteen obsession with one another. how dare this man think he can interject himself into your lives and have a say with who you are with in the future? Perhaps your guy can move out so you won't have to deal with the grandfather. There are always people looking for roommates if he can't afford a place on his own. I hope everything works out - you sound like you're both really happy otherwise (and NO, you are NOT doing anything wrong, just ignore this crotchety old man). :)
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female
reader, bonnismiles +, writes (28 August 2006):
 well you go gal if your happy then go for it dont let your family stop you try and talk to them but if they dont understand then its up to them it not their life it urs cheersxx
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female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Something doesn't sound right. Maybe 'grandad' is having moments of dementia in old age and is confusing blood cousins or, something is not being told to you.
I suggest you talk to your parents. Level with them, ask them them if they know any blood reason why you shouldn't be in a relationship with this boy.
If it is just awkward and not blood reasons for the family you both are old enough to make you own choices. If it is just because it is an awkward idea then they will get use to it over time just like any other awkward relationship you could possibly be in.
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