| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Irrational fear of my boyfriend masturbating
Q. Over 2 years ago I was sexually assaulted. A few months later I met my current boyfriend. After maybe 6 months of us being together, I found that he had looked at porn. I dont know what happened in my brain but I totally lost it and honestly it ...
A. 21 June 2012: You need to talk to a professional about your past sexual abuse. I know you say you can't get access, but if you have internet you can get access. There are people who will talk over Skype (just make sure to check their background so you don't get ... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time, but worried what my boyfriend will think of me naked!
Q. Hi everyone :) Me and my boyfriend are going to have sex for the first time this weekend, and im completely ready in every way except that im really insecure about my body. Im a bit chubby and im worried he'll be totally repulsed my me and not want ...
A. 21 June 2012: I could be wrong about this, but from what I've heard what's going through most guys' minds the very first time they're with a naked woman is "omgboobsvaginaomgboobsvaginaomgboobsvagina."
Seriously though, your boyfriend is probably going to be re... (read in full...)
I masturbate and then don't want sex with my wife
Q. I don't seem to be sexually attracted to my wife very much. I'm not not sure if its a labido thing or what. I do masturbate to porn though when she's not around but as soon as she's back and wants sex I'm not interested. I do love her and want her ...
A. 21 June 2012: If someone came on here saying that on the way home from work every day they stopped at McDonalds and were confused as to why they didn't want dinner with their family, would you be able to identify the problem?
It sounds like you have become d... (read in full...)
Should women also carry condoms?
Q. Usually guys will have one or two hidden in their wallets just in case they get lucky. However, should women do the same? What are your thoughts?...
A. 20 June 2012: Yes, just don't keep them in your pockets. You should never use a condom from a wallet. Condoms stored in wallets are weakened by the temperature changes and the heat.... (read in full...)
Is this considered cheating? Help!
Q. Hi, Need help. Is this considered cheating? My fiance and I are 3 months away from the BIG day. I'm 29 and he's 38. Never married and no kids. We're having a coed bechalor/bechalorette party in Las Vegas. We're best friends so we figured i...
A. 20 June 2012: Leave him.
"According to him, if you're giving kisses or rubbing someone else, thats not cheating. If you're receiving and your body is being used, than it is cheating. So, if a stripper kissed his chest it would be cheating, if he kisses hers, NO... (read in full...)
Have you ever squirted or made anyone squirt?
Q. Hi, I was just wondering if any of you out there have, 'squirted' during sex, or made anyone squirt? ive never had an orgasam, with anyone ive ever been with. I do enjoy sex and do have a good sexlife with my boyfriend, but ive dont know anyone who ...
A. 19 June 2012: I've done it three or four times, always with a sex toy that stimulates my g-spot (twice alone, twice my boyfriend using it on me). All times were unexpected and annoying and kind of exciting at the same time (because it's rare). It did feel like ... (read in full...)
I feel ready to have children but don't have anyone in my life yet. I'm not sure I am happy with the timeline I see for myself having children!
Q. I am a 23 year teacher, single, own place to live, own car, good friends and supportive family. I am desperate to have a baby, and no it isn't to fill a void or anything like that. It's the one thing that I dream of most and my biggest goal in life ...
A. 19 June 2012: I don't doubt you'd be fully capable of being a great mother and supporting a child (or two). BUT you're only 23 (I'm 23 as well). You're not giving yourself a chance to meet someone and start a family with them. At your age most guys who would be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants oral sex, but I'm not confident about doing it. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend always wants me to give him a bj and I don't really like doing it because I don't think I'm that great at it, so what do I do because I feel terrible not doing it for him but I don't want to stink at it, so any tips ? X...
A. 18 June 2012: First off, don't try to get the whole thing (or even most of it) in your mouth. That's tiring, gaggy, and doesn't make oral sex better for the guy. Focus on the tip, lots of saliva. Circle the tip with your tongue, lick the part where the head meets ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 17 June 2012: I have done a lot of research on the pull out method because I use a heavily modified hybrid of pulling out and condoms with my own partner. We've been using this method for the past 3.5 years without a single scare so either one of us is infertile ... (read in full...)
Does first time sex hurt?
Q. Having sex for the first time does it hurt ? Is it suppose to hurt ? I just wanna know what to expect when I have sex for the first time ...
A. 17 June 2012: The main reason it hurts is when the woman isn't physically ready, meaning not turned on enough. The best way to avoid pain is to make sure that your partner can give you enough foreplay to get you all the way to orgasm before trying sex. Be sure ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to stop looking at porn but its very difficult!
Q. Hello, I am attempting to stop looking at porn because it is hurting my girlfriend's feelings. She likens it to cheating or is afraid that it will lead to me cheating. I love her more than anything and that is reason enough to try to stop, and I ...
A. 17 June 2012: I believe this website will be the most helpful to you:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
It's really, really great that you're taking initiative on this and are putting your girlfriend before your computer. I'm sure you will be successful, it's... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy with our sex life. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't got a good sex life, we've been together a year and a half and we've always had problems with sex, he's rarely managing to hold an erection, and lately it's getting worse, now it's like I have to choose between an ...
A. 17 June 2012: Is he very stressed at work or on new medications? If yes, talk to him about those problems and how you can work through them.
If no, does he masturbate a lot? That can cause ED in young men.... (read in full...)
How do I break into a group at college to be friends?
Q. How do I break into a group at college? Theres a group of girls and guys who became very close during freshman year because they lived on the same hall. I didn't have so much luck with the friendship department because I lived on a floor full of ...
A. 17 June 2012: Rather than trying to break into the whole group at once you need to try to become friends with individuals. You can't count a group as a friend. As a group, they will likely be hostile to you trying to barge into their tight-knit circle. But as ... (read in full...)
My crush thinks he's too old for me. What do I do?
Q. I'm 25 and went on a date with a 35 year old. We got along great and had things in common. But he seemed to think the gap was too big. I didn't think so. My friend got engaged and has the same age difference. Should I tell my crush this?...
A. 17 June 2012: Age gaps like that really only work when neither person cares about it. If he's uncomfortable with it, it would only strain your relationship right from the beginning. There's no reason to tell him about your friend as your crush has already made ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend asked me for a mmf threesome with my bestfriend
Q. My girlfriend's engaged friends starting having threesomes and this sprung curiosity in her.but As a result, she told me that she would like to have one with my best friend. I admit immaturity in my response, but I flipped the fuck out because the ...
A. 17 June 2012: Among monogamous couples a threesome can/often does spell the end of the relationship. Either because the couple is doing it to fill a void or because the jealousy drives one person totally nuts. In general if couples come on here asking about this, ... (read in full...)
B/f goes out with friends and I'm alone for hours. I don't have any friends here!
Q. Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. I lived in Florida. He lived in New jersey. We saw eachother every 2 or 3 months. I finally moved up to New Jersey to live with him around November .. Everything has been great. We argue. ...
A. 17 June 2012: Your boyfriend sounds like he's being very inconsiderate. Yes everyone should be able to go out with their friends when they're in a relationship, but even in normal circumstances it's not considerate to be disappearing out drinking all night with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks its ok to cuddle with friends
Q. My boyfriend has a friend ( girl ) kinda like a best friend .. that i think is way to friendly with him. I get so jealous. I havent even met this girl yet, and i hate her already. She has a weird sense of humor that i dont get. And like i said.. w...
A. 17 June 2012: You're not overreacting, that sounds way over the line to me. Cuddling is very intimate.
The important thing here is that your boyfriend respected your opinions. You won't always agree on things, and that's OK. It's important that when you don'... (read in full...)
Will fingering harm me?
Q. I'm in a relationship from past 3 months.i wanted to if fingering my vagina by my boyfriend will cause any harm to me in the future! I'm a virgin...
A. 17 June 2012: Not if he's gentle, cleans his nails and hands with soap first and cuts his nails.
Though as a point of info, if you want to get pleasure from this he should be rubbing your clitoris mainly and not focusing on your vagina. Sticking things in your ... (read in full...)
I saw my husband groping and touching his younger friend! Is my husband gay?
Q. Dear Cupid My hubby and I have been married for 30 years and together for 34 years. He likes to drink but not everyday. Just on weekends. Last Friday night when him and his friend who is young enough to be our son came home they were both dru...
A. 16 June 2012: YouWish is right. Would it be different if it was a woman? I'm sorry this is happening, but basically your husband is in the closet and is now cheating on you. I don't know what options you have other than to divorce him.... (read in full...)
Husband masturbates to porn so much that he can't have sex with me
Q. my husband prefers watching porn to watching me.he doesnt bath with me anymore and spends the whole day downloading porn videos and the whole night watching and masturbating.he cant keep his erection anymore and each time after sex(thats when he ...
A. 16 June 2012: I have many links on my profile that deal with pornography addiction and relationships/marriage, you should look through them. I also recommend you take a look at this website:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
My partner and I are trying for a baby, but he hasn't stopped using steroids. How can I confront him?
Q. Please help.my partner and i have been trying for a baby and recently been told he has a low sperm count due to the amount of steroids he use to take. He promised me that he is staying off them do we can have ivf. I know i shouldn't have but i've ...
A. 16 June 2012: I think you should rethink if this is someone you want to have a baby with. He is lying about his drug use to you, that should be a huge red flag. You should at least hold off until he has this totally under control.... (read in full...)
Why are straights more curious about whose gay than the gays?
Q. All "straight" and "gay" answers are appreciated. Why is it that my coworkers (females) are constantly asking me about my personal life? They're always curious to know whether the person I'm dating is male or female. In my head I'm like who the fuk ...
A. 16 June 2012: Because it's unusual to them and they are curious and have forgotten their manners I think. The next time they ask who you are dating you should just smile and respond, "does it matter?" Hopefully they get the hint.... (read in full...)
I've told white lies and now my wife doesn't trust me
Q. My wife does not trust me and I do tell white lies sometimes , I have never cheated on her I tell her that I love her and she just says o thanks!! I used to watch some porn and now just get emails for freinds with some pictures of woman, She found ...
A. 16 June 2012: You stop lying and stop doing things that upset her. It's not a white lie if you've done something wrong and then lie about it...... (read in full...)
Ex wants post-break-up sex, is it right or wrong?
Q. My ex and I broke up 8 months ago, I am 18, whilst she is 16. The UK allows legality of this relationship. So she's decided that she wants 'post break up' sex. She never understood my reasons for leaving, although they were as long as your arm. So I ...
A. 16 June 2012: She wants to have sex because she wants to get back together. If you want to be with her again then do it. If you want to remain broken up, do not have sex with her.... (read in full...)
How many men out there are NOT into pornography and find it degrading?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship nearly 4 years - 3 of which my bf used online porn most days, even perusing it while I was asleep naked a metre away from him, even though I was always happy and curious to explore our sex life. We fough...
A. 16 June 2012: It's a study by the Kinsey institute with around 13,000 participants. Some men don't use, and some will stop if they know it bothers their partner.
If you haven't, I really recommend visiting my profile and looking through those links. Especial... (read in full...)
My BF says he doesn't need to wear a condom because he smokes.... is this true?
Q. My boyfriend smokes so should he wear a condom when we start to have sex because I've heard it's more difficult for a girl to get pregnant from a boy who smokes cigarettes?...
A. 15 June 2012: Absolutely not true at all. If it is more difficult the difference is a few percentage points, nothing that is actually going to prevent a fertile woman from getting pregnant. If you don't use condoms or contraception you are trying to get ... (read in full...)
I'd rather my boyfriend used his imagination rather than porn
Q. Does anyone share my views... I still think id rather my boyfriend use his imagination and think of other people than use porn, does anyone else have a similar view? ...
A. 15 June 2012: Yes, I do. The website below explains it well and I have many links on my profile you might find helpful on this.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
There are so many other good looking, smarter and generally better women out there, why would a man chose to be with me?
Q. Is there any point to me being in a relationship? I feel like as there are so many other good looking, smarter and generally better women out there, why would a man chose to be with me. I try to be single, but something happens and I end up stuck in ...
A. 15 June 2012: I think you need to get yourself into therapy. There is no one who is best or worst, it's all subjective. Do you think all the other people who are married or in relationships are the best at everything? The smartest, funniest, and prettiest? Of ... (read in full...)
Why does he aways pee before we have sex?
Q. so i been with my boyfriend for a while now and we started to get closer and by that i mean that we have started to have sex. sex just gets better and better everytime but there is one small thing. When we start to play around with eachother, and we ...
A. 15 June 2012: I thought that was normal? It's good to pee before sex for many reasons, it's uncomfortable to have someone pushing on your bladder and for many guys, it helps them last longer to have an empty bladder. Also it's very unsexy to be in the middle of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too clingy!! Help!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months or so now. During the school year he was fine until summer break was right around the corner. He became really clingy texting all the time and gushing about how much he loved and cared about me. Its ...
A. 14 June 2012: Just tell him. When someone is smitten they are generally not very good at seeing when they are doing something wrong. You have to just be direct and tell him you really like him, but that he needs to text less and just tell him exactly what you ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he use sound when he watches pornography?
Q. Can someone explain what this means? My boyfriend says he doesn't have the sound on his porn videos because it makes the fantasy more real what is he on about? ...
A. 14 June 2012: Oh it's a problem with him watching porn, rather than with the sound? That's a different situation. I have many links on my profile you might find useful.... (read in full...)
How many men out there are NOT into pornography and find it degrading?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship nearly 4 years - 3 of which my bf used online porn most days, even perusing it while I was asleep naked a metre away from him, even though I was always happy and curious to explore our sex life. We fough...
A. 14 June 2012: About 25-30% of men do not use porn regularly, for various reasons. There are certainly men out there who share your beliefs. I have many articles on my profile about this that you may find helpful.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he use sound when he watches pornography?
Q. Can someone explain what this means? My boyfriend says he doesn't have the sound on his porn videos because it makes the fantasy more real what is he on about? ...
A. 14 June 2012: Does it matter? I'd think it would be a good thing to be trying to make sure there's as big a difference between porn and real life as possible.... (read in full...)
Since she starte taking the depo shot my g/f is no longer interested in sex
Q. My girlfriend of 3years has just started taking the Depo shot for birth control a couple months ago, and ever since then app closeness and intamacy is gone, literally!.....every time I put my arm around her she shrugs it off, or when I just place my ...
A. 14 June 2012: Definitely sounds like the shot. Hormones affect different women differently and a low sex drive is one of the top side effects women report. I think you should sit down and let her know this is effecting you and you'd really appreciate her trying ... (read in full...)
Fancy dress party, what can I wear to impress my b/f?
Q. Hi I am going to a fancy dress party at the weekend with my new boyfriend we have been together for 5 months now what is the sexiest outfit to wear to really impress him thank you ...
A. 13 June 2012: Normally I don't use this word, but don't wear something skanky. I.e. no brightly colored cutout bodycon mini dresses. You want to wear something that leaves a little something to the imagination (but not everything). You don't want to highlight ... (read in full...)
What can I do during sex so b/f isn't doing all the work?
Q. Hello all! I have a question about sex. I'm kinda new to it and though everything is good(we both enjoy it) I don't know what I Can do during sex so he's not doing all the work when he's on top. Is it just inevitable that I can't do much but move my ...
A. 13 June 2012: Has he complained? I asked my bf how he feels about this difference in work and he goes, "It feels amazing, why the heck would I care? Whatever feels good!" I mean men do tend to feel more physical pleasure from penetration than women anyways, it's ... (read in full...)
How often do you phone your partner?
Q. how often do you call your partner? looking for answers from people who are in: 1) Long distance relationships (hardly see eachother) 2) close proximity (see eachother most days or w/e's) 3 and live in relationships (living together) ...
A. 13 June 2012: We have done all three.
1) everyday for 30 minutes to an hour. If one of us had plans we'd still make an effort to talk briefly or contact each other in some way.
2) when we started dating we saw each other pretty much every day so we'd call... (read in full...)
He is upset I am going out on dates but he already has a girlfriend!!!!
Q. Can anyone tell me why a male friend who already has a girlfriend is getting upset by the fact that I am going out on dates? When I saw him on the weekend he hardly said a word to me after finding out I was going out to dinner with someone. Ther...
A. 13 June 2012: I agree with CaringGuy. He does like you, but mostly he likes having you around as his safety net. You don't want to be second fiddle. There's really no point in talking about it with him that I can see. You're absolutely right that if he wanted to ... (read in full...)
My G/f had the most "amazing sex" with some guy while we were broken up, and now I feel terrible and completely inadequate
Q. I broke it off with my long term girlfriend when she decided to move overseas. This was 4 years ago. For the next 2 years I saw a few other people, but nothing serious. For the whole time she was calling me telling me she was lonely and alone and ...
A. 13 June 2012: Unfortunately this is what happens when you snoop. You find out information that otherwise would have no impact on your relationship, but that hurts. Also as a reminder, you broke up with her and maintained that decision while she asked for you ... (read in full...)
I want to do these things but she's not keen... Is she holding me back and will this work?
Q. We live in a large town up North. My partner is a lecturer but is thinking about moving career over summer. We've been dating for 5 years and living together for almost 3. I'm in my early 30s and she's in her late 20s. I work from home and I'...
A. 12 June 2012: At the root of it you're telling her you perpetually want to spend half the week away from her. It kind of screams non-commitment. It's a little like asking for a long distance relationship. I know that if my partner wanted to spend 3 nights a week, ... (read in full...)
Will this guy tell everyone that I don't shave down there?
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old. The guy is also 18, he is my friend's friends and we got introduced to each other a few weeks ago. He fingered me today in the morning, I enjoyed it but I wasn't expecting to do anything so I wasn't shaved down there. Th...
A. 12 June 2012: If he makes a comment ask him when the last time he ripped out all of his pubic hair by the roots was. Or ask him when he decided he was attracted to children rather than grown women. Seriously, if he cares tell him he's been watching WAY too much ... (read in full...)
What can I do during sex so b/f isn't doing all the work?
Q. Hello all! I have a question about sex. I'm kinda new to it and though everything is good(we both enjoy it) I don't know what I Can do during sex so he's not doing all the work when he's on top. Is it just inevitable that I can't do much but move my ...
A. 12 June 2012: PC muscles. Also moving your hips "a little" makes a lot of difference! While there is a way for him to relax while you do the work when he's on top, it's much simpler for you just to be on top instead. If you've never done it before, it's not like ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: You can't buy them. I mean you do have to pay for them obviously, but she needs to talk to a doctor. She can either make an appointment with her primary care physician or go to a women's clinic (like planned parenthood). If you have insurance ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: That is called the rhythm method. For most people it is barely more effective than just hoping you won't get pregnant. Most women are not regular enough for that. Women generally don't ovulate at the same time every month. There are ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 27 May 2012: Yes she can absolutely get pregnant during her period. It's unlikely, but still possible.... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
