| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What can I do during sex so b/f isn't doing all the work?
Q. Hello all! I have a question about sex. I'm kinda new to it and though everything is good(we both enjoy it) I don't know what I Can do during sex so he's not doing all the work when he's on top. Is it just inevitable that I can't do much but move my ...
A. 13 June 2012: Has he complained? I asked my bf how he feels about this difference in work and he goes, "It feels amazing, why the heck would I care? Whatever feels good!" I mean men do tend to feel more physical pleasure from penetration than women anyways, it's ... (read in full...)
Will this guy tell everyone that I don't shave down there?
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old. The guy is also 18, he is my friend's friends and we got introduced to each other a few weeks ago. He fingered me today in the morning, I enjoyed it but I wasn't expecting to do anything so I wasn't shaved down there. Th...
A. 12 June 2012: If he makes a comment ask him when the last time he ripped out all of his pubic hair by the roots was. Or ask him when he decided he was attracted to children rather than grown women. Seriously, if he cares tell him he's been watching WAY too much ... (read in full...)
What can I do during sex so b/f isn't doing all the work?
Q. Hello all! I have a question about sex. I'm kinda new to it and though everything is good(we both enjoy it) I don't know what I Can do during sex so he's not doing all the work when he's on top. Is it just inevitable that I can't do much but move my ...
A. 12 June 2012: PC muscles. Also moving your hips "a little" makes a lot of difference! While there is a way for him to relax while you do the work when he's on top, it's much simpler for you just to be on top instead. If you've never done it before, it's not like ... (read in full...)
How do I get my guy to change the motion he uses during sex?
Q. i have problem , i really don`t enjoy the in and out thrusting during sex ,it`s not pleasurable for me so i want to ask my boyfriend to go for slow circular mouvement but i don`t know if cicular mouvement inside the vagina feels good to me...
A. 12 June 2012: Tell him what you need, though from experience that circular motion can hurt some guys and is pretty tiring to many/most. The vast majority of women can't orgasm from penetration, so perhaps you should work on other things he can do, like fingers, ... (read in full...)
How is porn any more real than picture of ME?
Q. I let my bf take naked pictures of me, in hopes that he would stop looking at porn. Not only did he continue looking at porn, but he doesn't even use the pictures of me. He said he doesn't think that the pictures of me are "real" enough, or that I'm ...
A. 12 June 2012: This website will help explain why a guy would choose to watch porn over his girlfriend:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
I'm sorry this hurts so much for you, this is a reflection on society not on you. It's not about attractiveness or love, it'... (read in full...)
Why don't I get turned on with my boyfriend?
Q. I get really wet when I watch porn and masturbate but I don't with my boyfriend and we always have to use lube. I don't understand why. What can I do to be naturally as wet with him?...
A. 11 June 2012: First off, maybe you should think about cutting back on/cutting out the porn? You can become desensitized to real people. Human brains just don't cope well with that extreme stimulation. You might want to stop masturbating for awhile too. Check out ... (read in full...)
Will I be judged as a bad person if I go 'no contact' with my parent?
Q. Just wondering, is it better to honor a parent that usually has nothing positive to say about your life, and usually puts you down about your appearance, your home, your way of handling finances, raising your child etc. Or just to go cold turkey and ...
A. 11 June 2012: Unless they were abusive, yes probably a bad idea. My grandma is just like that. 90% of what comes out of her mouth is a criticism. Me and my cousins have to fight over who has to talk to her and sit with her at family functions because none of us ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to stop wanting to be friends with people where our values and outlooks are different?
Q. Hi Aunties, I have an issue that is bothering me because I feel like my character is becoming flawed and I am changing into someone that I am not sure I want to become. It might be a long one, so I apologise in advance. I am 34 years old. I hav...
A. 11 June 2012: I get that you don't want to be around people who bring you down, but your problems seem to be based in being very judgmental and not based in differing values or beliefs. I know you wouldn't want other people picking apart your management skills so ... (read in full...)
He signed up to Adult Friendfinder and I am so hurt...what should I do?
Q. Help. I have been with my bf three years and a couple of weeks ago he signed up to an adult friendfinder! Even though he did not upload a pic or email any women (i checked) it has really upset me. When i had a go at him he said I always accuse him ...
A. 11 June 2012: It's possible you are simply insecure and jealous and paranoid. Or it's possible you sense something in him that makes him sign up for Adult Friend Finder. It's not really paranoia if it's actually happening. I'm not saying he's cheated or that he ... (read in full...)
Trust issues! What help do I need to overcome my paranoia and fear of of being used by women?
Q. I'm at a very distressing time in my life and its because I'm so paranoid of Women. It started as I was little and in kindergarten. I always noticed how the girls in class would act towards guys. After each grade I would notice random things but i...
A. 10 June 2012: You need therapy to try and address why you believe it is OK to marginalize an entire group of humans. Look back over your question and replace every instance of "women" with "black people" or "Jewish people" or any other group of people. Would you ... (read in full...)
I sometimes wish I could act out my sexual fantasies!
Q. I'm basically a "good girl"...always have been, but sometimes I wish I was a slut. I see so many of my friends randomly hook up with guys, have threesomes, have one night stands and all this other stuff and they seem like they're really living life ...
A. 10 June 2012: It's not wrong, but as someone who was VERY close with those types of girls and joined in for everything but sex, I can tell you those hook-ups feel empty and unfulfilling in most cases. A lot of the time it's purely for the ego boost/the feeling of ... (read in full...)
She built me up to expect sex and then she let me down
Q. For almost a year my girlfriend would tempt me about having sex. She would get me aroused let me touch her in "various" areas of her body. She would tell me she wanted me and of course i would be really drawn into her temptations statements of ...
A. 10 June 2012: It's crazy how women can sometimes want sex and then change their minds. Or how women can really want to have sex, but then make the conscious decision not to have sex. Actually, wait. It isn't. Which is more likely, that she's a sadist who gains ... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong in cuddling with your cousin?
Q. i am single and dont want to be in a relationship ever again, but recently i have been staying with my cousin's cousin. We cuddle through out the night .is there anything wrong with just cuddling with a male 3rd cousin?...
A. 10 June 2012: Third cousin may as well be a stranger, there's so little blood shared.... (read in full...)
How can I tell my husband that he's way too rough during sex?
Q. so this is a little bit emberrasing..but about a month ago i was allowed to have a congical visit (when prisoner and usually the wife get to stay in private housing on prison grounds) with my husband.he's been in prison for 4 years. he just got out ...
A. 10 June 2012: It sounds like he had some pent up frustration and anger and decided to treat your vagina like a punching bag. Someone who respects women as human beings doesn't do that. Someone who respects you doesn't ignore you when you tell him it hurts. Is ... (read in full...)
What kind of a problem is this?
Q. I'm 14 years old and when I pee, a small amount of goo(the ones when you blow your nose and lighist clear mucus comes out) after or during peeing.i don't have a boyfriend or did sex.it doesn't itch or burn when I pee but it does sometimes smells ...
A. 10 June 2012: We cannot possibly know this. If you have questions you need to ask your doctor.... (read in full...)
Is drinking too much pop bad?
Q. i am 16 and i drink a lot of pop...a lot of people say its bad to drink it,so i'm not sure if i should be drinking it...sometimes i have 1 or 2 cans a day...is that bad?...
A. 10 June 2012: Yes, it's bad for you. It's basically liquid candy. It rots your teeth, the acidity is bad for you, and it can make you gain weight. A good substitute is a small amount of fruit juice mixed with seltzer (fruit juice is almost as bad as soda, but ... (read in full...)
Do men sleep with women just for the sex?
Q. Will men really sleep with a girl if they don't fancy them? Not talking about beer goggles time when drunk. Stone cold sober, pre meditated chatting someone up in the expectation of having sex?...
A. 10 June 2012: Yes, lots of people have sex with other people for the point of having sex. It's ego more than physical pleasure.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my father that I lost my virginity?
Q. im 16 and i recently lost my v card to my bf (17) of 3 months. the thing is that i live with my dad and step mom and me and my dad have always been so close n i tell him everything! i feel so guilty for not telln him! and i know its stupid its just ...
A. 10 June 2012: Why would you tell him? If you don't feel 100% comfortable talking to him about sex, there's no reason he needs to know. He probably prefers you not tell him anyways, so long as you're being safe (condoms at all times, preferably with a back up of ... (read in full...)
He said porn was better than me, now he finishes too quickly with me!
Q. Hi all, got quite a long story to tell and i want your advice. I'm 25 and when I met my boyfriend he was a virgin, he's 36. Well, he has been masturbating to visuals for nearly 20 years. I entered into a relationship with him not really thinking ...
A. 9 June 2012: Any guy who actually believes and says that porn is better than actual people is not worth your time. If you think he's actually given this up and want to give it another shot, I have many links on my profile that may help you out.... (read in full...)
I'm dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and the death of my son's dad, and boyfriend tells me I'm being insensitive!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and until now, I had virtually zero doubts about our relationship. Here's what happened... For the past few days, I have been really down- depressed, sad, confused. I found out that I'm pre...
A. 9 June 2012: I hadn't initially thought about it like that, but I think You_Wish is right. He probably is feeling pangs of jealousy at what he believes are feelings towards your ex. I know that's not how you see it and probably not how you feel, but in his mind ... (read in full...)
Confused about Boyfriend's Sexual Past
Q. I have been dating a truly kind, loving, fun and communicative man for the last five months. We're both in our early thirties. We have a fantastic sex life and we feel very connected to each other. Recently, we started to ask each other perso...
A. 9 June 2012: I think you're reading too much into this. He was probably just curious, and/or the opportunity presented itself. I don't think it sounds like he's bi, gay, or whatever. He experimented a bit, and there's nothing wrong with that. He's also open, ... (read in full...)
How can I feel comfortable and do well at my new job?
Q. I just started my new job and I've been scared because I'm afraid of what people think of me. I always panic and stress because I'm afraid I wont make the food right and people might think Im slow and restarted because I take so long and sometimes i ...
A. 9 June 2012: No one starts a new job already knowing how to do everything and already being friends with their coworkers. No one expects you to either, they now you're still learning. Try to relax, no one expects perfection right from the start. It's OK if you ... (read in full...)
She built me up to expect sex and then she let me down
Q. For almost a year my girlfriend would tempt me about having sex. She would get me aroused let me touch her in "various" areas of her body. She would tell me she wanted me and of course i would be really drawn into her temptations statements of ...
A. 9 June 2012: Oh give me a break. Women don't go around trying to excite men so they can laugh at them about it. Your girlfriend probably is simply feeling excited herself and behaves as such, but has made a decision to remain a virgin and can't act on those ... (read in full...)
How do you cope moving far away from family to go to University?
Q. How do you cope moving far away from family to go to University? First off, I'm not the 'traditional' student. I'm 23, have a great relationship with my mom, not really into the whole being alone, living it up partying phase, I feel like I've ...
A. 9 June 2012: This is what college is for! Learning. It's not just learning your subjects, but it's also about learning how to be independent and live without your parents around. That's why dorms are so great. You're independent, but you're never alone. By the ... (read in full...)
She built me up to expect sex and then she let me down
Q. For almost a year my girlfriend would tempt me about having sex. She would get me aroused let me touch her in "various" areas of her body. She would tell me she wanted me and of course i would be really drawn into her temptations statements of ...
A. 9 June 2012: Masturbate, use your hands on each other, oral sex if she's OK with it, dry sex, there are many ways to touch and be sexual without penetrative sex. I don't think you can really take that kind of touching she did to be a promise for sex. It's sexual ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid being so nervous during my class presentation?
Q. I have to do a ten minute presentation in front of my class...every time i present i sound like i'm crying, which only makes me more nervous...this time some religious issues are going to come up....what do i do if someone asks me a question that ...
A. 9 June 2012: Here's the thing about anxiety. You can't try to reason yourself out of it. The biggest mistake people make it try to talk themselves into calmness, which doesn't work most of the time. Your anxiety is controlled in a totally separate part of your ... (read in full...)
Did I blow my chances by having sex on the fourth date?
Q. I need help, I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks and I am interested in him, however on our fourth date we had sex and now I am worried that I have gone from the potential girlfriend to just the good time girl without a future. Afterw...
A. 9 June 2012: Four dates + a couple weeks is OK in my book. It's not as though he rolled over, told you he was tired and asked you to leave, he invited you out after. He wanted you to stick around for at least a bit. I don't think you blew it or made any kind of ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have an orgasm while you're sleeping?
Q. I have a question about orgasms and whether it is possible to have one while you're sleeping. I had one last night while dreaming and I realize that it wasn't the first time that it's happened. The dreams are sexual of course, but I can never ...
A. 9 June 2012: All orgasms are clitoral. There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Your G spot is basically the inner part of your clitoris. If you are feeling the contractions when you are dreaming but not when you masturbate, perhaps you are not actually ... (read in full...)
Where can I et help about having a phobia about illness?
Q. Hi. So, i'm almost certain i have a phobia of vomit and illnesses. I cannot stand anything remotely related to vomit, it scares me and i panic! I also freak out if anyone mentions or thinks that they are ill. I hate it, it is literally ruining ...
A. 9 June 2012: http://www.emetophobia.org is a good start. You can find counselors through universities, through friends, just through the internet. Any psychologist or psychiatrist.... (read in full...)
We had sex after 3 weeks and there was hardly any semen! Does that mean my boyfriend is having sex with someone else?
Q. I have a sex question that I should probably know by now but don't - so here goes: My boyfriend and I had a huge fight . We went 3 weeks without having sex and finally we did. I expected him to orgasm right away but he didn't. When he finally ...
A. 6 June 2012: Semen amounts vary a lot, so does the length of time to orgasm. I know for instance when my bf and I are apart for awhile he takes longer to orgasm because the sensation is just different. Also that the second orgasm after going without for awhile ... (read in full...)
Why do women seem to use alcohol as an excuse for random hookups?
Q. Women, Alcohol, and Sex Question. Thank you in advance for your responses. My wife has had sex with 60 men or so since before meeting me. Most of these were with guys she met out at a bar went home had sex or maybe actually set up on a date or two...
A. 5 June 2012: I agree with Ciar 100%. I also agree that I don't think she was blaming the alcohol so much as stating a fact, that she would not have done that if she had been sober.... (read in full...)
My wife missed out on her youth
Q. My wife and I have been together for 12 years she missed out on her youth to be in a serious relationship with me. She has freinds that want to go out dancing and admits she will allow other men to dance with her(grinding)when she goes out. One ...
A. 5 June 2012: Your wife is being ridiculous. The grass is always greener on the other side but there's nothing particularly better about playing the field. Either she's with you or she's not. She can't have it both ways just because it seems like her friend is ... (read in full...)
Lady parts are in pain, could I have caught something from oral sex?
Q. I had sex last week twice with a guy I am seeing. We used condoms apart from when we done oral. This week I am in a lot of pain down below I think it's probably thrush but I am a bit worried that I have caught an sti through oral sex though I don't ...
A. 2 June 2012: Could be a bacterial thing, could be a yeast infection, could be an allergy, the important thing is we can't know over the net, only a doctor can know.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have pains every time you have sex?
Q. i just want to know is it normal to have pains everytime you have sex and you dont enjoy it at all,i am 22 and never ejoyed sex, im very worried as i always end up crying during sex....and one more thing me and my boyfriend had sex about a month ...
A. 1 June 2012: I think you should go see a doctor, we can't know what's wrong over the internet. Being tired all the time and feeling sick is never good. Sex should never hurt to the point where you're crying either.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be single and happy?
Q. Hi everyone, just looking for some advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation. I'm single and have been for a while, which does particulalry bother me, except a lot of my friends have recenently got into relationships and im starting to ...
A. 1 June 2012: Of course it's possible. It's better to be single than in a relationship with the wrong person too. Like Aunt Honesty said, try to arrange fun girls only nights. ... (read in full...)
Looking at live people online having sex is wrong, but seeing naked girls dance and grind on men is ok?
Q. Ok, So I was on here yesterday and saw a question about a girl who's boyfriend was looking at online porn chat shows. Almost everyone replied and said that he was wrong and that isn't appropriate in a relationship; that he was taking it a step too ...
A. 31 May 2012: Certainly not for me, I don't find strip clubs, live chats, or porn acceptable in my relationships. I would never advise an aunt that she was overreacting for being upset because her boyfriend or husband went to a strip club.... (read in full...)
I recently lost my virginity, when will sex stop hurting?
Q. hi i just lost my virginty a few days ago , but it pained alot ,and couldnt even let him enter me fully . i am soo confused is this normal? how long does it take for me not to feel any pain ? and when will i get something out of it ,and i never bl...
A. 31 May 2012: Having sex more does not make sex hurt less. Pain during sex usually means you are not aroused enough. Even experienced women have pain if they just try to shove it in there without enough foreplay. If you have enough foreplay even the very first ... (read in full...)
I don't think I've had an Orgasm yet. But what can I do about my more urgent problem? During and after sex? Help!
Q. I am a 21 yo girl and do not think i have ever had the big O. When my boyfriend goes down on me i often always have the sensation of peeing when i do not have to or have nothing to pee out. However, I have a had an accident or two when the "pee...
A. 31 May 2012: Make sure to pee before and after sex (the latter so you won't get an infection). If you've peed beforehand and you do "pee" during stimulation, it's not pee, you are ejaculating. It's actually not really tied to orgasm. It usually happens around ... (read in full...)
Do some women like rough sex?
Q. Few days back I was watching a adult movie with my wife. There was a rape scene. After the movie my wife wanted to rewind and see the scene again and she saw that again. How come a Rape which is supposed to be a disgusting act can be stimulating. Ok ...
A. 31 May 2012: "Most women like rough sex."
Um no.
Anyways to answer your question, rape fantasies are common. It's not actually rape that's appealing, I think I can safely speak for all women that actual rape is horrifying and life-ruining and one of the worst... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 31 May 2012: That study used 304 randomly sampled videos from the AVN most popular list and analyzed them for content. I was wrong, it's 88.4% not 88.6%. Also I worded it wrong, the word aggression is what is used, not violence. Sorry for the mix up. The most ... (read in full...)
Subtle ways needed. Is there a way of bringing him round to my wish for slow lovemaking?
Q. I am very happy in my relationship. My partner and I enjoy our time together and have regular sex. But the problem is, it's always hard, fast sex, if you know what I mean! It's good and he drives me wild but sometimes I just want to 'make love' as...
A. 31 May 2012: You can't be subtle, you need to just talk. Do you think what he's doing by grabbing your hips is subtle? No. So don't respond subtly. Just tell him you want to take charge of the rhythm/it's your turn!... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset with my boyfriend for masturbating 3 times a week when we only have sex once or twice a week?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to masterbate 3 times a week even tho he has a girlfriend? And say your having sex once maybe twice a week. Does the girlfriend have a right to upset with him? ...
A. 31 May 2012: If he's choosing masturbation over sex, then yes you absolutely would be right to be upset. But if he's just masturbating on top of sex, then no not really. If you want sex more often, then you have to talk to him about it.... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 26 May 2012: Yeah except I've never said I was in favor of censorship. Nice straw man though. You do realize when I say the porn directly contributes to violence I was talking about sexual slavery and the women who are abused in the making of porn, don't you?... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: We're only talking about studies on men with porn because this question is about men and porn, not women and porn. There are studies on women and porn, but there are fewer of them because there are a lot fewer female porn users. They generally find ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: "So it is not porn that creates the violence, it is society's tolerance of it that leads to more? Right?"
This was under where she was discussing the different types of models to study pornography's impact. What she was talking about is that ther... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: I consider my sources very carefully and I do research, both lab work and journal review for a job. I pay a lot of attention to what I'm citing and I read through the studies very carefully. These are not studies done for political gain, they are ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 24 May 2012: For the women who struggle to orgasm it's not because they aren't doing it right, or their boyfriend won't go down on them, these are women who can't or struggle to orgasm do so even when they try on themselves or have a partner try fingers or oral. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: "How many men actually know that penis' are pretty much useless to a lot of women in comparison?" That's because most men do not seem to realize that their penises do not give women orgasms. I notice everyone is still avoiding the question, w... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: They all show up the very first page of a google scholar search, I don't feel like finding them all since I was summarizing more than 20 papers. Here's one of the most well-known current researchers on the subject writing a paper summarizing her ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: Studies on relationships done on porn use in relationships found: Porn users were less satisfied with their partner's appearance and sexual curiosity and sex life. This was cause and effect. The users impacted were unaware of the impact. Porn ha... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 21 May 2012: Because many women cannot orgasm without a vibrator and never have been able to or struggle immensely to get there. You may have noticed most women take a very long time orgasm (the average is 20-30 minutes) which can mean that it's a special ... (read in full...)
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