A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone :) Me and my boyfriend are going to have sex for the first time this weekend, and im completely ready in every way except that im really insecure about my body. Im a bit chubby and im worried he'll be totally repulsed my me and not want to have sex once he sees me naked. Im freaking out about this! Any advice?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Shawtyinlove  +, writes (22 June 2012):
 Too shy to show of your body. than sex isnt for you. try simple stuff. dont have to take off your clothes for certain stuff :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Let me assure you - with the wisdom of having sometimes gone MANY, MANY, MANY years without seeing a woman's body naked - that your B/F is going to LOVE seeing your naked body... and, in his euphoria, he will not see ANY of the "defects" that you claim exist!!!!!!
Have fun.....
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 June 2012):
 My opinion has been, and will continue to be:
If you don't already know what he is going to think, say, do, then you do not trust him enough to share that intimate act with him.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Honey when you take off your shirt and bra his brain will go dead and he will go "BOOBIES....."
but much like EWO said... if you are that worried are YOU Sure you are READY for this???
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): The human body can be many different shapes and sizes with lumps, bumps etc - very few people have the conventional classic body - so relax. It's about desire and being intimate, enjoying a sensual experience. Don't stress. And I would say don't expect too much first time, things improve with experience.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (21 June 2012):
 I agree with both of the other posts. You need to be ready and feel comfortable in his presence. If you do not feel comfortable, you shouldn't have sex. People have sex because they desire their partner and want to, not because they make an appointment and feel obligated to. You should feel confident that your boyfriend cares about you regardless of any perceived imperfections. If you don't, tell him you are not quite ready yet. When you want someone really badly, you are not worrying about what you look like, what he looks like, etc. You are focusing on actually getting that person out of his clothes. You might think about what you really want here. If you don't want to have sex with him yet, don't.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 June 2012):
 I could be wrong about this, but from what I've heard what's going through most guys' minds the very first time they're with a naked woman is "omgboobsvaginaomgboobsvaginaomgboobsvagina."
Seriously though, your boyfriend is probably going to be really nervous and excited himself, way too focused on things like, where to put his hands, what does she think of my penis size, am I putting this condom on right? will I last long enough, how fast do I go, etc... etc... to be thinking of anything else.
He knows what you look like and he thinks you're gorgeous and sexy. Otherwise he wouldn't be with you and having sex with you! Don't forget for the most part women's soft bits are often the sexiest bits. Sexual dimorphism and all...
Just try to relax, use a condom, have way way way more foreplay than you think you need, use some lube, and have fun.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Are you SURE you are completely ready in EVERY way? Doesn't sound like it to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, missmatador +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Dear Anon,
It's completely understandable that you are about to share a moment with someone that is, possibly, the most personal thing you can share in a relationship apart from childbirth.
Remember that, when it comes to sex, it doesn't matter about your shape, your size or even your skills. What matters is confidence!
When I lost my virginity, I was a very large, very insecure girl. However it was easy to overcome that after I realized that we were both in the situation together.
He will have the same reservations and it's up to you both to get to grips with the fact that you are grown up human beings who know each other very well and are going to share something with each other that isn't just about the shape of your body.
Just relax and enjoy the closeness you are about to share!
Good luck,
Miss Matador xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, sophie'louise1324 +, writes (21 June 2012):
hey, im also your age and have recently gone through the same situation. i also dont consider myself to have the best body so i was very insecure.
try not to worry about it, guys arent as shallow as people think they are when it comes to having sex, take things slow and get in the mood and just relax. having sex for the first time with someone is meant to be an enjoyable experience, and you wont enjoy it if you're worrying about your body.
hope it all goes okay, and remember, every girl is beautiful just the way they are! :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): Sex doesn't have to be done naked, and you can do it in bed under the bed quilt. Just remove the necessary items of clothing if that would make you feel better. But your boyfriend is fully aware of your figure anyway and if he loves you he will still love you with your clothes off.
...............................
|
