A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months or so now. During the school year he was fine until summer break was right around the corner. He became really clingy texting all the time and gushing about how much he loved and cared about me. Its not that I don't like that kind of stuff but 1) he needs to text less and 2) if he tells me that all the time that he loves me it loses its meaning. Now that schools out hes gotten even worse. He doesnt believe me when I tell him I'm ok. His lack of trust in me makes me feel terrible. He was such a nice guy in the beginning but now hes turning into a monster because he can't see me everyday. How do I tell him to chill and not be so clingy without hurting his feelings?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): Tell him that without trust the relationship can't work. Tell him you that if he's texting you too much, you won't have any time to miss him. I think he needs something to take his mind off of you, a summer job, a trip, anything. I think its really sweet what he's doing, but I agree that it can get a little suffocating at time. Just be honest with him. Tell him he needs to dial down the texting and if he's telling you he loves you all the time, it loses its meaning. If he overreacts, you might wanna think about the direction this relationship is going. As people grow, their obsessions can grow with them.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 June 2012):
 Just tell him. When someone is smitten they are generally not very good at seeing when they are doing something wrong. You have to just be direct and tell him you really like him, but that he needs to text less and just tell him exactly what you said here about how if you say I love you all the time it loses meaning. But make sure after this that you make sure he knows you care too. He could be clinging because he is worried you don't love him back.
You're both young and still figuring out what the right balance is with clingy versus too aloof. You'll both figure it out eventually.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 June 2012):
 You should be direct with him. Guys are not good at taking subtle hints. You need to be direct and tell him how it is, take charge and be on control. Be blunt about it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 June 2012):
 Next time you are able to met up (face-to-face) tell him that it's nice to feel loved and that you DO know he really likes you, but tell him that he doesn't need to tell constantly. Tell him gently how you feel (like you expressed on here that you feel like the more it's said the less meaning it has).
Talk to him about the texting. Set some rules. Maybe take turns texting a few times in the morning and before bed to say good night (if that suite you both). And maybe instead of a LOT of texting call each other and make it short and sweet.
And cut the poor guy some slack, he is new at this "being a good boyfriend", so he might go a little overboard.
Maybe do something nice for him. Like send him a cute card (in the mail, you know the paper kind .) If you really like him, make him feel loved too.
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