A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me why a male friend who already has a girlfriend is getting upset by the fact that I am going out on dates? When I saw him on the weekend he hardly said a word to me after finding out I was going out to dinner with someone.There is an attraction between us and we get along great. We have been flirting a lot. But he has never asked me out or made his intentions known if he felt more for me.I am available to date and I have every right. He has a girlfriend. He has not stepped it up or left his significant other to be with me. Actions speak louder than words, right? If he was really interested in me, he would pursue. That is what men do!!So why is he upset if I live my life? I just don't understand men!!!And please tell me how to handle this now? What should I do? How should I act towards him? I have been nice but keeping my distance and it seems this is bothering him.Thank you for your comments.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): It's his problem not yours so just carry on dating whoever you want to date. Are you sure he's upset about you going out on dates? Could be something else going on in his life.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 June 2012):
 I agree with CaringGuy. He does like you, but mostly he likes having you around as his safety net. You don't want to be second fiddle. There's really no point in talking about it with him that I can see. You're absolutely right that if he wanted to be with you, he would be.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 June 2012):
I don't even think you should bother talking to him. I know full well what he's thinking and why he's upset - he sees you as the spare just in case things go wrong elsewhere.
You're right, if he wanted you his girlfriend would have been dumped a long time ago and he would have made it clear. As it is, he's done nothing. That's classic 'you're the spare' behaviour.
Don't explain yourself, and stop looking for him to explain or suddenly change his attitude. Do exactly as you were before. Date other men, have fun, live your own life. If one man who's already committed to someone else doesn't like it, tough on him.
Never waste time on people like this. They are the ones who'll drag you down and leave you hurt whilst they just live their lives.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 Well really it is quite simple. Talk to him and ask him what his problem is? Ask him why he is in a bad mood about you dating and see what he has to say.
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