| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 17 June 2012: I have done a lot of research on the pull out method because I use a heavily modified hybrid of pulling out and condoms with my own partner. We've been using this method for the past 3.5 years without a single scare so either one of us is infertile ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 31 May 2012: That study used 304 randomly sampled videos from the AVN most popular list and analyzed them for content. I was wrong, it's 88.4% not 88.6%. Also I worded it wrong, the word aggression is what is used, not violence. Sorry for the mix up. The most ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset with my boyfriend for masturbating 3 times a week when we only have sex once or twice a week?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to masterbate 3 times a week even tho he has a girlfriend? And say your having sex once maybe twice a week. Does the girlfriend have a right to upset with him? ...
A. 31 May 2012: If he's choosing masturbation over sex, then yes you absolutely would be right to be upset. But if he's just masturbating on top of sex, then no not really. If you want sex more often, then you have to talk to him about it.... (read in full...)
Who is responsible for kids turning into drug addicts? The parenting? The genetics? Or just luck?
Q. Who is responsible for kids turning out drug addicts? The parenting? The genetics? Or just luck? This situation is ruining my life,and my marriage, and I feel ,Im not responsible for this, but the society is turning against us . It is very painful ...
A. 29 May 2012: It's not so much "parenting" as environment as a whole. For instance if one identical twins becomes an addict, the other has about a ~60% chance of becoming an addict, while with siblings it's only about 30%. This is the strongest evidence right now ... (read in full...)
My b/f can't make me orgasm but I don't want to feel like I have to educate him
Q. I have no problem making myself climax when I masturbate and i've had plenty of orgasms thru oral sex with previous bfs but, for some reason, my current bf just can't make me cum. It's frustating although i don't make it a big deal as I know he's ...
A. 29 May 2012: You are both "wrong" in a sense. You are being pretty unfair here. No matter how good his reputation is for oral sex, all women are different. It's not his fault he can't figure you out if you aren't giving him instructions.
He shouldn't be ignor... (read in full...)
I snooped and found my boyfriend had been lying about watching porn, how do I trust him again?
Q. How do I trust my boyfriend again after he lied and promised he didn't watch porn, but I found out he does by snooping? What should hurt more the fact he broke a promise and lied or the fact he did not come straight out to tell me he watched it? I ...
A. 29 May 2012: I have many links about this topic that you may find helpful on my profile page.... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: You can't buy them. I mean you do have to pay for them obviously, but she needs to talk to a doctor. She can either make an appointment with her primary care physician or go to a women's clinic (like planned parenthood). If you have insurance ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend watching porn? I feel sick at the thought of it!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend watches porn, and I hate it! I have some real issues with myself, I have terribly low self confidence and low self esteem. We have a very active sex life, so why does he have to watch other women? What is wrong with ...
A. 28 May 2012: I have a ton of links on this topic on my profile page, I think they may be helpful to you.... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 28 May 2012: Your boyfriend is living in lala land! Either he's never actually been with a woman before, they've all been faking, or he's watching way too much porn. Either way your boyfriend is wrong on all accounts.
First off, most women need clitoral... (read in full...)
Can friends with benefits work ?
Q. Can Friends with benefits with an ex work ? Me and my ex started seeing each other last november. We did alot for the 2 months we was together. Met his family his friends he met mine. We all got along. He suffered with migraines and had ...
A. 28 May 2012: I don't think this will work out in this situation. You are going into this in the hopes that he will change his mind and want to be with you, it's probably not going to happen like that. Either he wants to be with you, or he doesn't. Now I'm not ... (read in full...)
What does fantasy mean in the porn world?
Q. I have some difficulty understanding the whole porn and fantasy thing, when men view porn does the fantasy thing mean they just enjoy watching sexual acts being done to other attractive people? I always thought it meant they pick the videos with the ...
A. 28 May 2012: Well porn isn't fantasy. It requires no thought or creativity, it is consuming someone else's fantasy as a product. Those actions really happened. So that woman who just had sex without a condom really did just have sex without a condom. Anyone who ... (read in full...)
Partner doesn't think of me during masturbation
Q. Hi, this question is for women and men, would it bother you if your partner only thought about you briefly or sometimes not at all during masturbation at the start of a relationship? For some reason it bothers me, I would wonder why they hardly ...
A. 28 May 2012: I don't think most people are really putting a lot of effort into controlling their thoughts during masturbation. People's minds just wander. A lot of times when people fantasize about sex they are thinking of them like in a dream. Someone is there ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 28 May 2012: That is called the rhythm method. For most people it is barely more effective than just hoping you won't get pregnant. Most women are not regular enough for that. Women generally don't ovulate at the same time every month. There are ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex?
Q. I just had sex with a girl, younger than my age. She claims that she has never done anything like that before and was REALLY innocent on our first try, so do I. I know nothing in making a distinction between the virgin one and the experienced one. ...
A. 28 May 2012: She can easily learn how to give a great BJ from the internet or from magazines. I was always under the impression that the best thing a girl can be during oral is enthusiastic, so I'd guess the combination of her really wanting to please you, you ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that a virgin won't bleed on her first sex?
Q. I just had sex with a girl, younger than my age. She claims that she has never done anything like that before and was REALLY innocent on our first try, so do I. I know nothing in making a distinction between the virgin one and the experienced one. ...
A. 27 May 2012: A lot of girls break their hymens during sports, stretching, falling, riding bikes, etc...... (read in full...)
Bad sore throat after a bj
Q. My boyfriend is clean, and we know that for sure. Him and I had our first experience together, and I gave him a blow job. When I was doing it, all went well, except he started to push my head down a little farther, which resulted in me starting to ...
A. 27 May 2012: The remedy is you stop giving this guy oral until he can treat you like a human instead of a hole. You a) need to make sure he knows in no uncertain terms that pushing your head down so you gag on his penis is never OK and b) if he tries it again ... (read in full...)
Girl on top. How is it done without being totally awkward?
Q. Ok, so I recently had my first time, but it hurt a lot, so I did some research and got some advice to try me on top next time. Only problem is, it seems like a really awkward position... But I'm sure you Aunts can help explain this to me so i...
A. 27 May 2012: First thing, your first time hurts most often because you're not aroused enough. Not because of the position. Girl on top is not going to help your initial arousal. You need to try more foreplay and get some lube for that part. Have him bring you ... (read in full...)
My fiance likes to act out that I'm a virgin and he's dominating me when we have sex. Is this normal?
Q. Most of the times that my fiance Nd I have sex he plays out me to be a virgin and that his taking over me and he says things such as, ( no one can hear you, can you feel that pressure while its ripping your thinght virgin p***y.) Or he covers my ...
A. 27 May 2012: This isn't just dominating, he's acting out raping you. You want to be with a guy who gets off thinking about raping virgins? Even now that he's stopped being vocal about it, he's probably still thinking it given that he still acts rough and ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 27 May 2012: Yes she can absolutely get pregnant during her period. It's unlikely, but still possible.... (read in full...)
Why are people so upset by the fact that I cant drive?
Q. For the longest time i have been fearful of the art of driving. as a teen i was never excited to get my drivers licensee like everyone else. I have always been baffled how people could go through life driving and ultimately putting there lives in ...
A. 27 May 2012: Right, but that's not the point. You have a phobia. It is one thing to not drive because there are better alternatives. It is another to not drive because you have a phobia of it. You really need to speak to a mental health professional to help ... (read in full...)
How should I trim my pubic hair?
Q. I'm 16 years old. How should I trim my pubic hair? Please help :)...
A. 27 May 2012: I don't recommend shaving it all off, it is itchy and rough that way generally. Just straddle the toilet and CAREFULLY (be so careful around there) use scissors. You can also buy shavers made specially for this for $10 or so.... (read in full...)
His penis is too big!!
Q. Im seeing this guy for a few months. He has 8 inches, and says that he is being very gentle with me. This one time we had sex it hurt so bad, that I had lingering pain for 6 days, took painkillers. He said that was going about half as hard as he ...
A. 26 May 2012: "OP what kind of guy that has sex with you to point of crying is now demanding that you go for something that's even more painful?" Exactly. This guy is not caring about you or your feelings at all. You were crying in pain as a direct result o... (read in full...)
Is it common for an uninterested married man to get hit on in a bar?
Q. OMG I am married and I got hit on at a bar today. It felt awful plus I had to chug a really expensive, very very good beer! This has never happened to me before but I don't go to bars very much. Is this common, to hit on guys that are wearing...
A. 26 May 2012: Sure it's normal (though I don't think I've ever heard a guy your age use the phrase "OMG"). Some people assume married people must be in bars to cheat. Some people cannot take a hint that when someone is reading they do not want to be bothered.
... (read in full...)
I don't know the difference between a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal one
Q. This is a sex problem and I really don't want to be graphic but I need help all the same. I hope the moderators won't censor my question. I don't know the difference between a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal one. Whenever I've had orgasms from sex...
A. 26 May 2012: There is no difference. Vaginal orgasms are still clitoral orgasms, either from hitting the back of the clitoris or from indirect friction/stimulation from the movement. There is nothing wrong with you, you're very lucky that you can reach orgasm so ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get it right the first time?
Q. I am seventeen and a few months into my first real relationship. Everything about it seems more perfect than even the most sticky-sweet fairy tale could possibly imagine but it terrifies me to think of it being really serious because it seems ...
A. 26 May 2012: Possible, I'm my boyfriend's first girlfriend and we plan to be together the rest of our lives. He's my first official/real boyfriend, but he's not the first guy I've dated, slept with, or anything similar. I've been very picky about who I will ... (read in full...)
Why are people so upset by the fact that I cant drive?
Q. For the longest time i have been fearful of the art of driving. as a teen i was never excited to get my drivers licensee like everyone else. I have always been baffled how people could go through life driving and ultimately putting there lives in ...
A. 26 May 2012: The problem isn't driving or other people here. You really need to speak to mental health professional because what you are describing is a phobia. This isn't a problem of getting other people to accept this, this is a problem of your phobia making ... (read in full...)
Drunk, hooker and emails to exes (
Q. Hi, I've engaged for 3 years, planning to married soon around this year. We have up and down relationship, as we have different culture (I'm Asian/Indonesian and he's an Australian), but so far, we're trying to get it through. 2days ago, i call...
A. 26 May 2012: I'm sorry but your man is just not a faithful guy. He doesn't care about you that much. He cares so little about you and your feelings that when he knows another woman answered the phone and you know, he still lies to your face. It's possible it's a ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 26 May 2012: Yeah except I've never said I was in favor of censorship. Nice straw man though. You do realize when I say the porn directly contributes to violence I was talking about sexual slavery and the women who are abused in the making of porn, don't you?... (read in full...)
Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn?
Q. Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him ...
A. 25 May 2012: "And I believe the 'use it or lose it' statement can be applied to most physical actions, whether or not supported by medical evidence (which I think it is)!"
The only way masturbation has been linked to ED is through too much masturbation caus... (read in full...)
I need career advice. Don't know which direction to take my life.
Q. Hey guys, I know this isn't much of a relationship question but I've been using dearcupid for about three years now and I know that it's well known for it's respected and helpful aunts. I've decided that I want to head back into school for a deg...
A. 25 May 2012: Read the book "What Color is Your Parachute." It's widely regarded as one of the best career picking books available.... (read in full...)
Performance anxiety, serious problem or me?
Q. Hello, I'm getting worried now as me and my boyfriend has been together for a year and a half now and he has always struggled performing in the bedroom but we did manage it sometimes and when he did, we made the most of it. But recently it's got ...
A. 25 May 2012: If he won't go to a doctor to rule out physical problems, then you have to assume that it's psychological. Have you tried talking to him about it, or does it always result in a fight? Has he tried not masturbating? Sometimes men become overly used ... (read in full...)
B/f has a small penis. What sexual positions would be good?
Q. Hi everyone I have just started having sex with my new boyfriend but his penis is very small he is really good at other things but when he inserts it I cannot feel anything hardly what positions are good for making him feel deeper I'm not going to ...
A. 25 May 2012: So focus on the external stuff, oral, fingers, etc...
You can also have him insert a finger or two during sex in addition to his penis. Positions that are good for this, you lying horizontal while he kneels on the floor, doggy style, you on top.... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: We're only talking about studies on men with porn because this question is about men and porn, not women and porn. There are studies on women and porn, but there are fewer of them because there are a lot fewer female porn users. They generally find ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: "So it is not porn that creates the violence, it is society's tolerance of it that leads to more? Right?"
This was under where she was discussing the different types of models to study pornography's impact. What she was talking about is that ther... (read in full...)
Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn?
Q. Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him ...
A. 25 May 2012: "If males only had erections when their partners wanted sex we men would all have Erectile Dysfunction (ED) at an early age. And then what would you women say?"
And your evidence for this is what exactly? Because there is no evidence for this anyw... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex anymore with my boyfriend!
Q. i have been with my partner for over 3 years. basicly on and off. ive noticed that i dont want to have sex with him, i dont get in the mood. while on the other hand hes always on me wanting to have sex. when he kisses me and caress me it doesnt ...
A. 25 May 2012: Well there's your problem.
First off, while you're probably not numb inside, you sound normal. Women generally have very little sensation in their vaginas. Neither of you should be expecting orgasms from penetration because for the majority... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: I consider my sources very carefully and I do research, both lab work and journal review for a job. I pay a lot of attention to what I'm citing and I read through the studies very carefully. These are not studies done for political gain, they are ... (read in full...)
Should I go to college or stay with my current job?
Q. For the past few years i have been wondering weather or not i should go off to college, you see i have had a study job working on a farm for sometime now and it actually pays just enough for me to get by on my own, but im not sure if i want to keep ...
A. 25 May 2012: Have you tried the SAT instead? Some people do better on one than the other. If you have any kind of learning disability you can also get extended time. So that's a way to get a little more time, if you have ADHD or something like that.
You s... (read in full...)
Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis if size doesn't matter?
Q. Why do so many women want to try having sex with a big penis (like bigger than they've ever had before) if size doesn't matter? Why did men evolve big penises (length and girth) compared to other primates if size doesn't matter?...
A. 25 May 2012: Most women don't prefer bigger penises. I'm not sure where you get that idea. The average woman is only 6-7 inches in length. Anything more than that can hurt. Sometimes a lot.
And to answer your second question, you're totally incorrect. Larger p... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex anymore with my boyfriend!
Q. i have been with my partner for over 3 years. basicly on and off. ive noticed that i dont want to have sex with him, i dont get in the mood. while on the other hand hes always on me wanting to have sex. when he kisses me and caress me it doesnt ...
A. 25 May 2012: "men these days are capeable to cheat if you dont give em any"
No, cheaters cheat. For men and women the number one cause of cheating isn't horniness, people can masturbate. The number one cause is not feeling wanted (emotionally).
When you ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn?
Q. Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him ...
A. 25 May 2012: If he doesn't care about your feelings and frequently chooses porn over sex, you should first try counseling. If that doesn't help, you can't force someone to change and should leave if you are unhappy.... (read in full...)
Leaving school, should I tell my teacher I like him?
Q. ok so i need help. i'm 18 and i've had a huge crush on my teacher for the last 5 years. it started when i moved into his class in year 2 and now i'm finnished school, excepted i have to go in one last time to hand in some books and that but the ...
A. 24 May 2012: Ask yourself this? What happens if you tell him? What do you expect will happen? Obviously in your fantasy he goes, "I have a thing for you too." Even then, what happens, someone much older than you cheats on or divorces his wife, loses his job, and ... (read in full...)
Can I dye my hair again? The color isn't dark enough
Q. Ok this isn't a relationship question and I'm not sure if I will get a real answer on this site but I couldn't find an answer anywhere else online. I do ask questions on here all the time, no relationship problems right now though! It's about my ...
A. 24 May 2012: There is a phone number on the back of all drugstore hair dyes. They can answer any questions you may have about when you can re-dye etc...... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 24 May 2012: For the women who struggle to orgasm it's not because they aren't doing it right, or their boyfriend won't go down on them, these are women who can't or struggle to orgasm do so even when they try on themselves or have a partner try fingers or oral. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: "How many men actually know that penis' are pretty much useless to a lot of women in comparison?" That's because most men do not seem to realize that their penises do not give women orgasms. I notice everyone is still avoiding the question, w... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: They all show up the very first page of a google scholar search, I don't feel like finding them all since I was summarizing more than 20 papers. Here's one of the most well-known current researchers on the subject writing a paper summarizing her ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: Studies on relationships done on porn use in relationships found: Porn users were less satisfied with their partner's appearance and sexual curiosity and sex life. This was cause and effect. The users impacted were unaware of the impact. Porn ha... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 21 May 2012: Because many women cannot orgasm without a vibrator and never have been able to or struggle immensely to get there. You may have noticed most women take a very long time orgasm (the average is 20-30 minutes) which can mean that it's a special ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
