| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 31 May 2012: That study used 304 randomly sampled videos from the AVN most popular list and analyzed them for content. I was wrong, it's 88.4% not 88.6%. Also I worded it wrong, the word aggression is what is used, not violence. Sorry for the mix up. The most ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 26 May 2012: Yeah except I've never said I was in favor of censorship. Nice straw man though. You do realize when I say the porn directly contributes to violence I was talking about sexual slavery and the women who are abused in the making of porn, don't you?... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: We're only talking about studies on men with porn because this question is about men and porn, not women and porn. There are studies on women and porn, but there are fewer of them because there are a lot fewer female porn users. They generally find ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: "So it is not porn that creates the violence, it is society's tolerance of it that leads to more? Right?"
This was under where she was discussing the different types of models to study pornography's impact. What she was talking about is that ther... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 25 May 2012: I consider my sources very carefully and I do research, both lab work and journal review for a job. I pay a lot of attention to what I'm citing and I read through the studies very carefully. These are not studies done for political gain, they are ... (read in full...)
Can I dye my hair again? The color isn't dark enough
Q. Ok this isn't a relationship question and I'm not sure if I will get a real answer on this site but I couldn't find an answer anywhere else online. I do ask questions on here all the time, no relationship problems right now though! It's about my ...
A. 24 May 2012: There is a phone number on the back of all drugstore hair dyes. They can answer any questions you may have about when you can re-dye etc...... (read in full...)
Should we have a MMF threesome?
Q. mmf 3some inquiry my girl and i have been together for 4 yrs now, and i recently found out that she has a fantasy about having a mmf 3sum. we talked about it, and it seemed hot to me. i love her very much, but the idea of having her being with a...
A. 24 May 2012: Most people who partake in threesomes who are otherwise monogamous do damage to their relationship. Lots of people have these kind of voyeuristic fantasies, it's normal. You should continue to enjoy this fantasy IN YOUR HEAD. You've already had a ... (read in full...)
Is this fair?
Q. I know this not a relationship question, but I just want to know if I'm being treated unfairly. So my dad passed away not too long ago and I had to live with somebody else now, she took custody of me. She applied for a benefit so I can' get stuff ...
A. 24 May 2012: $50 for a hair cut?! You can get them for under $10. You can also spend like $35 one time and buy something called a creaclip and some good hair scissors, cut your own hair. I used that all through college. Works great. Like SFC says, she's not even ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 24 May 2012: For the women who struggle to orgasm it's not because they aren't doing it right, or their boyfriend won't go down on them, these are women who can't or struggle to orgasm do so even when they try on themselves or have a partner try fingers or oral. ... (read in full...)
The pros and cons of getting a GED or repeating a grade?
Q. hello everyone during my suppose to be 10th grade year i was taking 9th grade classes and i was considered a 9.5 or a 9th grader so im going to say i was repeating. i really missed up during this year and missed majority of the school year and got ...
A. 24 May 2012: If you think you can make it through, it's always better to repeat a year and finish high school. It will be much harder to get into a university with a GED than with a diploma. Just make sure you go, work your butt off, do well and everything else ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: "How many men actually know that penis' are pretty much useless to a lot of women in comparison?" That's because most men do not seem to realize that their penises do not give women orgasms. I notice everyone is still avoiding the question, w... (read in full...)
How can you tell if someone is crazy?
Q. How do you tell if someone is a bit off thier rocker or just needy/bored/alone? So i posted an ad on craigslist in the platonic section. Just wanted to meet some new friends around my area that can hang out from time to time. Nothing sexual or ...
A. 23 May 2012: Craigslist is sketchy in the best of circumstances. I've used it to sell furniture, but that's about the extent of it. It can even be dangerous. If you're getting creepy vibes right now, imagine how bad it will be if you actually got to know her. If ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't I get Mr. Happy to be happy?
Q. Ok, so hopefully i won't get too much stick for this... I have been seeing my girlfriend for 5 weeks, she is smoking hot and we sleep together everyday, sometimes 2, 3 times a day. I have never had a problem getting turned on and she loves it how...
A. 23 May 2012: It happens, it's really nothing to worry about. My bf is a healthy 22 year old and we normally have sex at least once a day, but about once every 3 weeks things just don't work right. We just call it "failsex" and have a laugh and move on. It's ... (read in full...)
My friends and family believe that this guy is bad news but he makes me happy. What do I do?
Q. I'm pretty sure there is no other position like mine anywhere else in the world. It's so confusing. Me and this guy have been on and off for a while. We were friends with benefits at first but I began to fall in love with him and he did too. We ...
A. 23 May 2012: On and off relationships rarely work. FWB rarely work. Players rarely change. When your friends and family all hate someone, they're often right. Now there are exceptions to each of those. But to all of them at once is pretty unlikely. Even if he ... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend masturbating to porn 4 hours after I gave him oral. Does that mean I didn't do it right?
Q. Okay so I went to go to sleep last night but my boyfriend stayed up. I was playing games on my phone because i couldn't quite fall asleep. I decided i would smoke a cigarette before i finally decided to sleep. I realized that I didn't have a ...
A. 23 May 2012: Four hours is a pretty long time. If you're OK with porn then this is nothing abnormal and nothing to worry about. Haven't you ever finished, then wanted to go again?... (read in full...)
How do porn actress do things with no health risks?
Q. How do porn actresses do things like a2m and rimjobs without any health risks? And how do they prep for anal to make it look so easy?...
A. 23 May 2012: In CA based on performers who get tested, 66% of porn performers have herpes and 6% have HIV. It's a low estimate that 80% of porn performers have caught an STD at some point. Atm has caused e.coli infections both of the GI variety and also has been ... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend gets testosterone treatments will it change him?
Q. Hi guys, My boyfriend thinks he may have low testosterone levels and he has a doctors appointment for it. My question is that if he does and he gets treatment, will his personality change? He has a low sex drive at the moment but this hasn't alwa...
A. 23 May 2012: I kind of agree with the first female anon. It seems unlikely that he'd have a normal sex drive and then it would quickly disappear. Unless he's been having other physical problems than just losing his sex drive, my guess would be psychological not ... (read in full...)
What type of porn would he like?
Q. my partner and I both enjoy watching porn but we don't do it together, I know what I like but would like to know what most men would like to watch. Due to him being a tight arse and refusing to get a new phone where he could view and download ...
A. 23 May 2012: I have a question for you? What is my favorite ice cream?
There is no way we could possibly have any clue, you have to ask him.... (read in full...)
I think my wife is lying about cheating on me
Q. My wife and I maybe have sex 2 times a month and all of a sudden she feels way too loose ,so much so that i cannot stay erect and I know this is stupid but i asked her if she was using toys or if she was having sex with someone else ,her reply was ...
A. 23 May 2012: Sorry there's no way for us to know for sure. Genital warts (if you really mean warts and not herpes) generally don't lay dormant for that long. Usually either they've flared up by then or your body gets rid of the infection (HPV, contrary to ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as real love?
Q. Is there such a thing as real love? Or do guys just want the best girl they can convince to be with them at the time? Looking at the fwb scenario, or even guys who take a girlfriend out of convenience because she is nice to him, but who has no ...
A. 23 May 2012: You shouldn't give up. There are definitely kind, genuine men out there. You hear about the jerks because those are the ones people complain loudest about. But for instance, my boyfriend is a hopeless romantic who is unbelievably sweet, honest, and ... (read in full...)
His lack of kissing skills mean I lack .... well, read the rest, people!
Q. My bf's never really been a good kisser. I like real french kisses with a lot of tongue action and that's what really gets me going down there (meaning i get wet with a long passionate french kiss.). When he kisses me, it's a lot of kisses on the ...
A. 23 May 2012: If he can't master the whole breathing and kissing simultaneously thing, can't he just kiss your neck or nibble on your ears for awhile while he catches his breath? You should just tell him how much you LOVE when he kisses like _____. You don't have ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: They all show up the very first page of a google scholar search, I don't feel like finding them all since I was summarizing more than 20 papers. Here's one of the most well-known current researchers on the subject writing a paper summarizing her ... (read in full...)
She loves oral sex so how do I get her to give it to me?
Q. How can i get her to involve into giving me oral sex,however she love me going down south and it is my weakness,So i can`t say if you are not in I am out.we are together 15 years. ...
A. 23 May 2012: Sex doesn't always have to be tit for tat. Maybe she really just hates doing it unfortunately. For a lot of woman it's the ending that is bothersome, so maybe she could do oral on you as foreplay and then you finish with intercourse?... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 23 May 2012: Studies on relationships done on porn use in relationships found: Porn users were less satisfied with their partner's appearance and sexual curiosity and sex life. This was cause and effect. The users impacted were unaware of the impact. Porn ha... (read in full...)
I think boyfriend might be cheating and now he's acting all clingy
Q. Hi all, just a quick question please to get your views. if you suspect your BF is having an affair, but know that you are quite insecure, and have trust issues yourself and cannot prove anything, so then you back right off and he starts coming on ...
A. 22 May 2012: It doesn't mean anything about cheating, it means he's sensed you've backed off and is chasing after you. If there some other reason you think he's cheating?... (read in full...)
Is there a way to break my hymen without pain?
Q. Hi in 17 and me and my boyfriend want to try having sex. I have read about all the diseases and things and no the risks and we will be careful, what I'm really worried about is my hymen. My older sister had sex and said it hurt really bad. I'm ...
A. 22 May 2012: The hymen tearing is not what hurts during sex. That little flap of tissue barely has nerve endings for most women. For the vast majority of women tearing the hymen feels like nothing or next to nothing. The part that hurts during sex is that most ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my wife pregnant?
Q. I've been married to my wife for over a year now, but I failling to impregnant her, it seems I'm the one with the problem because she never misses her periods. Is it normal? Its now disturbing me. Pliz help. ...
A. 22 May 2012: She needs to see a specialist if after a year it's still not working. But I'm also wondering, does she want to get pregnant?... (read in full...)
I think my wife is lying about cheating on me
Q. My wife and I maybe have sex 2 times a month and all of a sudden she feels way too loose ,so much so that i cannot stay erect and I know this is stupid but i asked her if she was using toys or if she was having sex with someone else ,her reply was ...
A. 22 May 2012: Which STD? That part is suspicious since you've been married 10 years. I think you should call your GP up to ask about this/possibilities. I suppose it's possible she caught it right before you were married, then gave it to you a few years in and ... (read in full...)
I fantasize about other men during sex
Q. I fantasize about sleeping with other men when Im sleeping with my husband. It makes me sick just to type that. I really love him. We have dated on and off since highschool, and after a big break up in college he got really physical with mu...
A. 22 May 2012: Stop feeling guilty/stop punishing yourself. Most people (especially women) occasionally fantasize about other things during sex with a partner, it's normal.
I think you need to work on whether you want to make this work. It sounds like you're h... (read in full...)
What if we go to the beach and my boyfriend just wants to look at girls who are more fit and prettier than me?
Q. Hi. I might sound insecure asking this, well because I am about the topic. I want to go to the beach with my friends and boyfriend. But the problem is that I am overweight. Not that he is in tip top shape but I am a size 12 tops and size 12/14 ...
A. 22 May 2012: No you shouldn't be insecure! I'm sorry to say but everyone looks at other people. And sometimes those people are better looking, but sometimes they're not. We all just look. If your boyfriend tells you he loves your body, he means it or he wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Why do guys have to give up their porn but girls get to keep their toys?
Q. So I've been reading post about women upset about their boyfriends using porn and post about guys upset about their girlfriends using a vibrator. It strikes me odd at the double standard women have for vibrators and porn. Every post I read consist ...
A. 21 May 2012: Because many women cannot orgasm without a vibrator and never have been able to or struggle immensely to get there. You may have noticed most women take a very long time orgasm (the average is 20-30 minutes) which can mean that it's a special ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to be upset about the porn sites in his browser history?
Q. Hello:) Thankyou in advance for any advice. Right basically, I'm in a situation. At my boyfriends the other night, I discovered he watches porn. I wasn't snooping, I was typing in a 'youtube' in the search bar and a porn site came up in the h...
A. 21 May 2012: It's not a matter of should or shouldn't, you say you are upset. I think most people consider having web cam sex to be cheating. You should talk to him about it. ... (read in full...)
How bad has porn addiction got to be before you dump someone?
Q. How bad has porn addiction got to be before you dump someone? I would like to hear other people's stories.... I had a bit of trouble with my boyfriend at the beginning I know he's not as bad as my first boyfriend but he masturbated everyday he ...
A. 21 May 2012: It's The Kinsey Institute. McKinsey is a consulting company. Sorry but your opinion from your group of friends does not trump the 10s of thousands of data points in the Kinsey Institute studies (which are not out of date, they were mostly done in ... (read in full...)
I'm crushing over my teacher. She's amazing. Should I tell her?
Q. I am 16 years old and i think i'm in love with a woman teacher. i dont think that i am lesbian or bisexual but i think i really love her. she teaches choir and she is so amazing and she is very attractive. i want to tell her how i feel about her ...
A. 21 May 2012: This is actually a fairly common occurrence, especially among female students. Frequently female students who come from situations where they feel neglected or from alcoholic parents. Basically you become attached to a teacher or some other ... (read in full...)
Is it me? Are my expectations on how life should be realistic?
Q. I'm looking for advice on really what is acceptable Or is me? Are my expectation on what life must be like how it is realistic? My belief is that a person must not have more than one partner. Sometimes I feel like I'm different, or there's somethin...
A. 21 May 2012: I've had several sex partners, dates, hook-ups, etc... but I've only had one partner. He'd never even been on a date before me, so I'm his only partner in every sense. We're planning to stay together, but we're only in our early 20's. We both know ... (read in full...)
How bad has porn addiction got to be before you dump someone?
Q. How bad has porn addiction got to be before you dump someone? I would like to hear other people's stories.... I had a bit of trouble with my boyfriend at the beginning I know he's not as bad as my first boyfriend but he masturbated everyday he ...
A. 21 May 2012: Your boyfriend is using the term addiction the same way other men use the term "all men do ____." As a way to remove his personal responsibility for his actions. He is not addicted. There is nothing in your question that makes me think he is ... (read in full...)
Suggestions please? What do YOU do when a guy hits on your girlfriend in a club?
Q. Me and my girl go out to bars / clubs quite a lot and a lot of the time,she dances with her girlfriend(s) and if i don't dance with her, i chill at the bar with my friends. She says to me how she loves what i do, as it shows i trust her and i know...
A. 21 May 2012: There is a difference between hitting on and assaulting. If my boyfriend did anything beyond coming up and quietly putting his hand on my shoulder or something equivalent, I would be seriously embarrassed and angry. It would make me feel like he ... (read in full...)
How can a woman cure her fishy odor?
Q. I feel helpless, I am very clean, and been to my doctors and she tested me. every thing can back normal, no infections. My boyfriend has stop having sex with me, because he say i smell fishy real bad, when he pre-cums, and cums. he even gag's. He ...
A. 21 May 2012: Wait so his semen is making you smell bad so in response he won't have sex with you? If it's his semen, you can have him wear condoms.... (read in full...)
Should I pay my children's' father's debt?
Q. My grandma passed away in march, it still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her. However she was 95 and was able to be in her own home which is better than other ways. I was surprised to get a summons as she left something for my children ...
A. 21 May 2012: You should tell him that the money was left for you and your children and must be spent on things for your children. This is HIS debt, this is not your debt. It doesn't matter where the money comes from, this is now your money and essentially he is ... (read in full...)
I feel unattractive compared to the women in porn my husband watches
Q. I love sex, especially with my husband. My husband is rarely in the mood. There is an age differance of 15 years, he is 26 and I'm 41. I would have sex everyday if I could. He likes watching porn on the internet. Which makes me feel awful, because I ...
A. 20 May 2012: Sounds like he's heading down the road of a porn addiction if he's choosing porn over sex. This website has good information, as well I have many links on my profile about this topic.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Could this be a latex allergy, or is this normal for your first time?
Q. So I just lost my virginity yesterday to my boyfriend. (It hurt a lot, so there wasn't more than just a little bit of thrusting before we stopped) And he wore a condom, of course. I don't want to get pregnant! But about five or so hours lat...
A. 20 May 2012: It's probably OK, I know I've gotten cramps after having sex before. If it happens a lot you should probably ask your gynecologist. It's normal also to get cramping a day or so before your period starts, especially if you're poking around in ... (read in full...)
Could this be a latex allergy, or is this normal for your first time?
Q. So I just lost my virginity yesterday to my boyfriend. (It hurt a lot, so there wasn't more than just a little bit of thrusting before we stopped) And he wore a condom, of course. I don't want to get pregnant! But about five or so hours lat...
A. 20 May 2012: Swelling alone probably isn't a latex allergy, more likely just irritation from it being your first time and pushing too hard. Especially since you didn't notice until 5 hours later. Itching would be far more of a sign of an allergy. I know I once ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator?
Q. Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator? A few years ago I bought my wife a vibrator to spice things up in the bedroom. She was a bit hesitant at first but after a while she would regularly use it to finish herself off. As the months w...
A. 20 May 2012: I'm guessing you are mostly insecure about the fact that she was lying/hiding her vibrator use from you, rather than the fact that has a vibrator period. I tend to disagree with most of the aunts on here about personal masturbation habits in that I ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want sex anymore!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 18 months, and we have been living together for six months. When we started the relationship, sex was very good and quite regular at least one or two times a week but over the last seven to eight mo...
A. 20 May 2012: The top two reasons women lose their libido are that they aren't genuinely enjoying sex and/or they don't feel wanted. I know rejection sucks, but if she doesn't think you find her attractive, she's not going to feel uninhibited/comfortable letting ... (read in full...)
He asked, I replied. Now my answer is the reason he is breaking up with me. Can I change his mind?
Q. Hello everyone,i really need help on this.. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago and we started talking to each other on the internet.. We went out last night for the first time and he asked me with how many guys i've been.. I told him the trut...
A. 19 May 2012: You had a crush on this guy but it's only been two weeks. You can't possibly know someone within 2 weeks. Luckily you got to know that this guy is a manipulative sexist before you invested anything more in him.
You don't want to change his mind... (read in full...)
Date is tomorrow but she has a cold. Options? Suggestions? Help!
Q. Heres the situation. I met this girl in class and finally on the last day of the semester got her number. we only talked once in person but w/e i got it. Immediately sparks flew and we texted everyday literally for hours before our first date. Ou...
A. 19 May 2012: Why not do something like say, I'm really sorry you're feeling sick, what if instead of going out I bring you some soup and tea and bring over some movies to watch? You two can watch movies while she drinks the soup, then you can take off. Or you ... (read in full...)
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