| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What are your views on strippers?
Q. Whats your view on strippers?? My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm. I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over...
A. 21 July 2012: "Be interested in how many of the female aunts are here don't plan on going to see that film Magic Mike which is all about male strippers" I'm against objectification, period. A friend of mine claiming to be a feminist was going to in her words ... (read in full...)
Unprotected oral sex risky?
Q. Divorced, and having casual sex for first time in life, use condoms. Realistically, what are the chances of getting a disease from giving a man unprotected oral sex? Not swallowing. I know that HIV is difficult to pass that way. And the two ...
A. 19 July 2012: Oral sex is still sex and yes, you can catch things that way. It's not as easy as with penetrative sex, but it's still possible. For instance if one of you has HPV it can lead to an increased risk of oral and throat cancers. If you have any cuts or ... (read in full...)
What are your views on strippers?
Q. Whats your view on strippers?? My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm. I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over...
A. 18 July 2012: I have a no strippers policy in my relationship, no exceptions even for bachelor parties. First I have issues with it for feminist reasons. But on top of that, I don't find it acceptable for a man in a relationship to be doing that kind of thing. ... (read in full...)
Are cold sores herpes?
Q. Okay, this may be a bit stupid but please bare with me. I'm 20 years old and I've just found out I have herpes simplex type 1. I haven't been tested, I've been told that cold sores are herpes? I've had cold sores since I was a baby and I didn'...
A. 17 July 2012: Cold sores are herpes, yes. HOWEVER, more than 70% of the entire population carries the virus. You have not been born with the virus, you likely caught it from putting something in your mouth that another kid had in his or her mouth.
Chanc... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I don't understand.
Q. I'm 33 years old mother of 3 been married 12 years husband has looked at porn since he was a teenager. At first I was mad about it then realized He wasn't gonna stop no matter what. So I accepted it even though it hurt. He has told me when he ...
A. 17 July 2012: Nothing is wrong with you. More than half of women hate porn in their relationships. There is an enormous difference between looking at porn alone and looking together as well. I highly recommend you look at the numerous links on my profile about ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that I can handle this long distance relationship
Q. Hello there, So I need some advice from you guys. I have a met a really wonderful guy recently. We got together at the beginning of May at Uni, unfortunately around revision period and then on June 7th following the end of term we had to separate...
A. 16 July 2012: Sorry but he doesn't sound like he's nearly invested in this enough to make it work. LDRs require total commitment to make them work, from both people. That means a lot of hardships, like using pretty much every available chance you have to see each ... (read in full...)
Does every woman queef?
Q. Does every female queef? I really want to be able to stop queefing during intercourse, I usually do the first time, for example say on a night time the first time me and my partner have sex I usually queef then if we have sex more times during tha...
A. 16 July 2012: Most women do it sometimes. When he thrusts in he can trap some air in there. It's normal and there's nothing you can do except laugh about it. It's not preventable. Sex isn't like a Disney Movie where everything is perfect and magical, it's awkward ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed but it really hurt. How do I know if my hymen was broken?
Q. My boyfriend was fingering me and it really hurt, but I never bled. Did I break my hymen? How can I check?...
A. 16 July 2012: If you didn't bleed either it wasn't broken from this or it was already broken. When I lost my virginity mine broke and there was a very noticeable amount of blood. Pain does not indicate a hymen breaking, it does not really have nerve endings. ... (read in full...)
Do you get turned on by tickling?
Q. I have liked tickling for as long as I can remember. I find it fun and love tickling girls, especially on their feet. Does anybody enjoy tickling or being tickled? And to make the discussion even more interesting, does anyone get turned on by it? I ...
A. 16 July 2012: I am ticklish and when people tickle me it makes me really angry. Because I'm laughing when I say "stop it, I hate being tickled" they think I'm kidding, so it's really hard to make people stop. Everyone who is ticklish that I know hates it as well. ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed but it really hurt. How do I know if my hymen was broken?
Q. My boyfriend was fingering me and it really hurt, but I never bled. Did I break my hymen? How can I check?...
A. 16 July 2012: What she means is that you may have broken your hymen from non-sexual activities as a kid or some other time. Like riding a bike, riding horses, falling, etc... It's really unlikely he broke your hymen. Is it important to know if you have or haven't ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed but it really hurt. How do I know if my hymen was broken?
Q. My boyfriend was fingering me and it really hurt, but I never bled. Did I break my hymen? How can I check?...
A. 16 July 2012: Only a doctor can check, but it's highly unlikely that he broke it, and pretty much impossible if there was no blood.
If your boyfriend is fingering you and it hurts, stop! Fingering should NOT focus on penetration, it should focus on your cli... (read in full...)
I'm having issues with oral sex. Help!
Q. Hi everyone. This is really embaressing. My guy wants me to deep throat him but he's too big! I literally just choke and have to stop and go back to just normal oral. Will the gagging go away with practise or is he doomed to never be satisfied? ...
A. 15 July 2012: I third the too much porn thing. Deep throating is not necessary and the vast majority of women choke or gag on it (I thought that was the point of it most of the time).
You are under no obligation to hurt yourself to get him off, where is his e... (read in full...)
I thought my trainer was my friend but he has upped his prices!
Q. Over the past year I have become good friends with my personal trainer. But recently he told me he had to raise his rates and asked me for more money. Of course I was surprised he would do this to me and I am hurt by it. I thought he conside...
A. 15 July 2012: You're blowing this waaaay out of proportion. You can be friends with your personal trainer, but he is running a business. He already said he's even giving you a discount, there isn't much more to even think about than that. If he doesn't raise ... (read in full...)
Can you tell the difference between love and lust?
Q. Dear all, Is it possible to be affectionate and miss someone a lot but not love them? I'm 5 months in a relationship and have developed strong feelings but I'm not sure if its love? What's the difference and how do you know? We currently on...
A. 13 July 2012: Love is different for everyone, for some it's a sudden powerful thing while for others it's a slow gradual build-up. I couldn't come up with a good description, but my boyfriend had one that I like, "it feels like your whole brain is shutting down ... (read in full...)
Do guys generally find the excitement wears off? Does it lead to needing to watch more and more kinky stuff?
Q. Hey, so I'm in a very happy relationship of 2 years with a girl I'd love to marry some day. Our sex life is amazing...great chemistry between us. But we only see each other maybe twice a week, and in between times, I have my moments of feeling ...
A. 13 July 2012: Yes, this is a fairly occurrence for regular porn users, a desensitization. Sometimes it doesn't impact anything, but sometimes it can lead to things like erectile dysfunction, an inability to get off on normal sex and normal women, or other ... (read in full...)
What does your boyfriend do when you are sick?
Q. I am curious to see what your boyfriend does when you are sick/unwell. Do they check in to see how you are? i have been off work for 5 days with the flu which is going around pretty badly where i am. I rarely take time off work (last year i pro...
A. 13 July 2012: That is unusual and inconsiderate for a boyfriend of 4 years to ignore you when you're sick. Even if he was paranoid of catching it or something, he could at least call and/or text! I wonder if he's normally an inconsiderate person or if this is out ... (read in full...)
I am so heartbroken that he uses porn when we are apart, how do I cope with it?
Q. i have a hard time making real friends. i dislike people who are fake. i prefer to not have friends at all if they aren't going to be honest with who they are because if they aren't, they won't be honest with me. i only have a few people in my life ...
A. 12 July 2012: I strongly disagree with the below poster that it's "selfish" to be hurt over porn use. You're not alone, more than half of women hate porn use in their relationship. I highly recommend you read through the links about this on my profile, they may ... (read in full...)
My parent's disapproval has really put a damper on my engagement
Q. Hello All! I am having some difficulties with my parents not approving of my engagement. My fiance and I have been together for 2 years, I am 20, he is 23. We live in our own home, pay our own bills, we are both in college, and are both working ...
A. 11 July 2012: You ARE too young. Couples who marry before age 25 have more than double the chance of getting divorced as those who wait. You've also only been together for 2 years, which relative to your whole life is nothing. You're still in college, there is no ... (read in full...)
Is he at risk of getting HPV from me?
Q. I have been treated for genital warts, they came back after the next month, I had sex recently, but it was protected, I almost gave him oral but I pulled out right away, is he still in risk of getting hpv? ...
A. 11 July 2012: Condoms only provide minimal protection from HPV. You could have transmitted it to him during sex. It is spread through skin on skin contact. YOU performing oral on him could not transmit it that way. If he performs oral on you he could contract it ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity?
Q. I'm a 17 yr old virgin buh i masturbated a week ago nd i fingered mysef with 2 fingers,do you think i've lost it?...
A. 11 July 2012: No. Virginity can only be lost if your vagina is penetrated by a penis. It's a state of mind, not a physical thing.... (read in full...)
If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal?
Q. If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal? We are both in mid thirties, been together going on 2 years. When is it time to walk away in search of finding someone who will wanna get ...
A. 10 July 2012: If you are in a serious relationship with someone, you should be able to feel comfortable discussing these things. Why not either a) bring it up and talk to him about whether or not he plans on getting married in the future or b) ask him to marry ... (read in full...)
When does sex feel great?
Q. I have slept with 5 people, all except for one were one night stands. During my long term relationship I don’t ever remember thinking sex was amazing, my ex was selfish towards his needs. Now that I have been single for 2 and a half years, I have ...
A. 9 July 2012: It's very simple, the sex sucks because you're having one night stands. Very few women have orgasms from one night stands because for most women we need to be comfortable sharing our often complicated ways to get off. Not only that, but a lot of ... (read in full...)
Why do couples brag about their relationship?
Q. I have a question that is more general: how do you relate to couples that, you know, are so fond of each other that they can't stop bickering, and saying "I love you" every 30 seconds, making in-jokes that no one understands, and going on about how ...
A. 9 July 2012: Love makes people act silly. You can always start to point it out by making jokes about how nauseating they are, but if they continue and it really bugs you, just stop hanging out with them until they get out of their "honeymoon phase."... (read in full...)
"Just stop looking blah blah" somebody please tell me how that works!
Q. I've heard this over and over again... That the reason I can't find a girlfriend is because I'm looking for one, and that as soon as I stop looking, I'll suddenly end up in a relationship. "Happens when you least expect it," "I found my partner when ...
A. 8 July 2012: It's not about being single or not, it's about caring or not caring. When someone really wants a girlfriend or boyfriend they subconsciously give off these kind of needy insecure signals that are very easy to pick up on. The single people who are ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty much a walking hormone and masturbate daily! Is it normal?
Q. I'm 19 this year, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never had sex, nothing. And most of you will understand that at this age, I'm pretty much a walking hormone. I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm horny 70-80% of the time and have a lot of ...
A. 8 July 2012: It's not so much a matter of normal or not as the fact that you sound like you've become compulsive about it. Everyone gets horny, but when you feel a need to masturbate, especially to porn, there can be a problem. It can make it hard for you to be ... (read in full...)
Is it realistic to have an ambition to be a porn star? Or is my depression affecting my judgement?
Q. I wish I looked like a pornstar I feel like my life would be so much better if I was beautiful, who out there is beatiful but got dumped? I need to know it doesn't matter, I am so depressed....
A. 8 July 2012: If you are truly depressed, you need to go talk to your doctor because it is a seriously debilitating disorder and needs treatment ASAP.
My friend who is a total man-magnet, the whole package of beauty and confidence, she's been dumped and trea... (read in full...)
He's express interest, but hasn't clearly stated he likes me. Would he be upset if I hooked up with another guy?
Q. So, there are two guys I like. We'll call one of them Jake, and one of them Josh. I have liked Jake for awhile, but we have never really met, only seen each other around school before. But last week I started talking to him, and he clearly expressed ...
A. 7 July 2012: He'd probably take it as a hint that you don't like him back and he'd back off.
If you like Jake you need to let him know and ask him out before he loses interest. It's silly to wait around for guys to pursue you when you can easily go after th... (read in full...)
Seriously considering having an affair.
Q. I'll get straight to the point. I am very seriously considering having an affair. My husband has turned into a complete dead fish in the bedroom. He used to be very excited about me, he used to love to touch me, kiss me, lick me, sleep with me. He ...
A. 7 July 2012: "I've never had an issue keeping sex and emotion separate."
You're already having trouble with it. You're not looking for sex to fulfill some kind of horniness, you are not feeling desired. You are filling an emotional void with this, that you are ... (read in full...)
First time sex didn't turn out so great!
Q. So, I had my first intercourse experience. That may be inaccurate though, but I don't know if fingering someone is an "intercourse" experience. I had fingered her silly, she wanted more and asked for two fingers inside. I obliged and things got h...
A. 7 July 2012: If you got inside her, with or without ejaculation, you are no longer a virgin. My boyfriend was a virgin when we started dating and he was so nervous his first time that he couldn't finish either. It's pretty common, try not to worry! She knows ... (read in full...)
Will I get pregnant from anal sex?
Q. I had anal sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated inside me.will i get pregnant?Im scared.smh....
A. 7 July 2012: No. I assume you're worried some trickled out and somehow made its way to your vagina, that really can't happen. Don't worry. Next time use a condom to put your mind at ease.... (read in full...)
I have a question about birth control.
Q. Oh, someone please help me! Nobody has answered my question, not even Google. This is about birth control, I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this question, but it's the only place I feel comfortable turning to. Okay so, I got ...
A. 7 July 2012: You cannot become backed up with blood, that is not an issue.
During a normal cycle, your uterus creates a thick lining for the egg to have a place to implant, peaking around ovulation. During your period, that lining sheds, that is what your per... (read in full...)
I really like her and want her to be my girlfriend
Q. I really need some help. There is this girl that im falling in love with. Ido not know if she likes me but she did say i was an amazing guy. We havent seen each other lately. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend but do i wait until i see her again ...
A. 7 July 2012: Don't jump straight to girlfriend, just ask her out on a date. You can do it however you feel comfortable.... (read in full...)
Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 7 July 2012: Male anon seems to be confusing masturbation with pornography, as though they are somehow synonymous. Masturbation is a normal healthy activity. Pornography is a corporate, highly addictive, product designed with nothing in mind but to make money.
... (read in full...)
Is rimming weird or fairly common?
Q. Hello fellow Cupid-ers, I have very much enjoyed reading your site, and contributing in my own small way. You all seem like wonderful open-minded people. So to ask a taboo question to as sympathetic an audience as I'm ever likely to get: ever ...
A. 7 July 2012: It's unusual because it's dangerous to be exposing yourself to fecal matter. You could make yourself very, very ill in many ways.... (read in full...)
When I close my eyes I see dots!
Q. When I close my eyes to fall asleep in bed, I see pixels and pulsating purple blobs all over the place. It's so distracting! What exactly is it and what can I do?...
A. 7 July 2012: If you look at a light, it will leave a "ghost" and that part is normal. Does it go away after awhile? Does it usually happen when you rub your eyes?
When is the last time you went to an eye doctor? If you're concerned you need to have it check... (read in full...)
Using Olive Oil to unclog a stuffy ear, does anyone know of this?
Q. Hey guys this question is health related but i need opinions bad and i dont know where else to ask. I heard that a few warm drops of olive oil will unclog a stuffy ear afer a couple days is this true? Also if it turns out its just an ear infection ...
A. 6 July 2012: Some people use mineral oil, some use alcohol, some people have a very trusted responsible and careful person with very steady hands use a bright flashlight and a special tool to pull the earwax out. They sell them online, it might be worth a try, ... (read in full...)
We have a connection, but run out of topics to discuss. How do we learn to communicate with soul searching conversations?
Q. So I've got my girlfriend, whom I'll have been dating 5 months on the 10th. I really really want to have a real relationship with substance and communication and love. She desires the same. From an objective standpoint, we're really good togethe...
A. 6 July 2012: If you're frequently running out of things to talk about the issue isn't not connecting on a deeper level. Couples don't spend a lot of time intimately connecting and "soul-searching," they mostly just talk. The way to have more interesting topics ... (read in full...)
How do I explain our breakup without saying I'm gay?
Q. I just told my boyfriend of several years that I'm likely a lesbian. He is a great guy, honestly. He seemed to take it well - we broke it off but agreed to be friends. I still feel really guilty for doing it. I mean, I still love him as a pe...
A. 6 July 2012: Just say you were incompatible. It's a private matter, no one has to get specifics. If they are being really nosy, you can just say "oh just the little things started to get to me and we were always bickering. We just decided we would be better off ... (read in full...)
My fiance is insecure about receiving oral sex
Q. Hi, my question is regards to performing oral sex on my fiance. In most cases she does not want me to go down on her. She has assured me that she enjoys it when she does let me go down on her, just that most of the time she feels insecure about ...
A. 6 July 2012: This is an extremely common problem unfortunately. It's great she was able to relax enough to have an orgasm from it, a lot of women are too tense to allow it to happen.
Women are essentially told through the media that our genitals are dirty, d... (read in full...)
What are some of your ideas/experiences with having sex outdoors?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a extremely happy relationship. We have been together for 5 years and I am planning to spend the rest of my life with him (cheesy I know!) We have had sex before however we want to know places outside were we could do it. ...
A. 6 July 2012: Having sex outside is always better as kind of an excitement/novelty thing. I've done it a lot, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes just because we could, and sometimes because we were camping and in the end the only worthwhile thing about it was ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 6 July 2012: We both said this has nothing to do with you, your appearance, or your sex life. If the porn use is bothering you, you can talk to him about that, please read the links on my profile. That book is also helpful.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I want to adopt, but friends and family are against gays' raising children. Advise please?
Q. Hi Im a gay woman who is in a very healthy relationship of 3 years and recently I have became really broody and would like to adopt in the near future with my girlfriend, we have discussed children before and she also would like to have them one...
A. 6 July 2012: Oh give me a break! If children need a mother and a father to be raised, do they believe that single parents shouldn't be allowed to raise children? In my opinion bigots shouldn't be allowed to raise kids, but I assume at least some of your family ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 5 July 2012: It has literally nothing to do with you, for most guys it's a habit totally separate from horniness or desire. For most users they can be totally and completely satisfied sex-wise, have the hottest girlfriend or wife in the world, and still feel ... (read in full...)
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