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male
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anonymous
writes:I don't seem to be sexually attracted to my wife very much. I'm not not sure if its a labido thing or what. I do masturbate to porn though when she's not around but as soon as she's back and wants sex I'm not interested. I do love her and want her around. I just don't seem to want sex. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2012): Low testosterone is a major reason for impaired sexual performance. Ageless Male is a great option for those suffering from lack of libido. It contains fenugreek seed extract that boosts libido and also increases testosterone production in the body. Read through a few Ageless Male reviews if you wish to learn more about the supplement.
http://agelessmalereview.blogspot.in/
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2012):
 Maybe you need to start reconnecting again. Take her out on a date, to a movie you know the things you used to do when you first "courted" her..
Time to Woo her again.
But first go see your doctor and have to Testosterone level checked. Just because you masturbate doesn't mean your T-levels aren't low. The T-patch is pretty effective and non-evasive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Honeypie, yea, I might be sitting there working myself up in my head and she will say, let's have sex or when are we gonna have sex and it just turns me completely off for some reason. Also I think we are not "connecting" like we used to either. I hate feeling that way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2012):
Get checked for low T. My husband have it and is on the T- patch, IT makes SUCH a difference.
Also, could it be the fact that she initiates you are having a problem with?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 June 2012):
 I'll agree that "person12345" is correct, but allow me to explain that in my youth, pornography was rare to most men and not at all so easily accessed as it is today. From the 1960s through most of the 1980s, a person had to go to extra lengths to find much more than a few nasty books. Today, you can access porn with the push of a button. And yes, it becomes addictive - replacing natural sexual relations if you so allow it. Just about everyone on earth masturbates to some degree, but in my opinion, real sex is much, much better. Like some drugs, a person can eventually become numb and it simply overloads - and you'll develop a kind of resistance to the point that porn will not satisfy. In my opinion, you just have to find a balance - mostly the real thing, and just occasionally jerking off. Age may be a factor.
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female
reader, Lunicia +, writes (21 June 2012):
Well, it depends on how old you are. A lot of men tend to lose their sex drive as they get older. It has nothing to do with being or not being attracted to your wife. Me and my husband went through the same thing. It's not that he didn't want to have sex with me, he just felt tired and sometimes sex just seemed like too much. Masturbation took less time than foreplay and love making. You may still be attracted to your wife sexually, you just might not be able to distinguish between the two feelings. Try to save those urges for your wife and see how you feel. If she comes on to you and you honestly feel aroused but too tired, than it's nothing to worry about and vitamin supplements should help.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 June 2012):
 I say this every time I see a post with this subject, but I have to tell you...look at the website person12345 posted. It will save your sex life and your marriage. The site "your brain on porn" is nonjudgmental, non-preachy, and it deals with the very real addiction that changes and alters your brain chemistry when a porn addiction gets in the way of you and real sex. It scientifically explains ED and the disconnect between being stimulated by porn, and a healthy relationship in marriage.
It's really a great site, and it will help you immensely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmmm, I think I might need to clarify. Although I do seem to prefer porn over my wife, it in itself is not the problem. I have dropped it altogether for a long period of time. But, I do think it adds to the problem so I will stay away from it. It just seems like I want sex far less often then my wife does and I have to work myself into the mood. But as soon as she says let's have sex it's like I'm on a stage and have to perform and I can't. But if she leaves me alone and lets me instigate it, then she will not get what she needs very often and i want her happy. Honestly, I would probably be happy with once a month. And I know that ain't cool. I also wasn't always like this either. Is it low T? I guess I need to get checked.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 June 2012):
 If someone came on here saying that on the way home from work every day they stopped at McDonalds and were confused as to why they didn't want dinner with their family, would you be able to identify the problem?
It sounds like you have become desensitized to real people, it's a very common problem among porn users. Porn can be addictive (highly addictive) and it's estimated that over 15% of users have developed a problem that interferes with their lives.
In order to fix things, you need to cut out the porn and masturbation. In order to help with it, I HIGHLY recommend you read this website:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2012):
Try cut the porn & masturbation. It's not really fair on your wife that you prefer porn to her.
Why did you start with the whole porn thing? And how is your wife libido? Does she have a high/low sex drive?
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (21 June 2012):
 you masturbate to porn and have no desire for your wife. you will find yourself more attracted to your wife if you stop watching the porn. you are forcing her to be in competition with women that are making fantasy look real.
its not fare to your wife and your self. you are cheating your wife out of her needs with you, and you are settling for a" cheap hamburger while steak is with you at home waiting for you."
if you stay from the porn you will find yourself desiring your wife and will be sexually attracted to her again.
drop the porn and you will have a desire for sex again.
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Have you tried not masturbating, saving those urges for when she is around? It might help, because if you haven't taken care of yourself, by the time you see her you're going to want sex. If you still would rather masturbate to porn, instead of sex with your wife, then you might want to try some couples therapy, to find out what might be going on there.
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