A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend's engaged friends starting having threesomes and this sprung curiosity in her.but As a result, she told me that she would like to have one with my best friend. I admit immaturity in my response, but I flipped the fuck out because the mere idea of it broke my heart. I had my fun as a single man, and believe that multiple people in the bedroom is for single people or swingers. Has anyone been through this? or something like it? I need opinions... positive and negative
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best friend, engaged, swinging, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012): My wife and i have had a threesome with my best friend and we just had to do it again we have did it three times now and it is amazing . Me and him dont touch each other but we both give my wife a great time together and one at a time , it has perked up our love life but cos it works for us doesnt mean it will work for you guys . So talk it through with yr partner a great deal good luck .
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 Birds of a feather flock together. Women are attracted to friends whom they share common interests with. If her friends seemed whoreish to you there was a common thread between them. She just hid hers for awhile. You did the right thing by dumping her. There is a great gal out there for you who will be well deserving of your love. I admire the fact that you didn't settle on 2nd best just to prevent lonliness. Good luck.:-0)
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (19 June 2012):
FWIW - I think you made a very wise decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLeft her. I'm honestly glad it happened at 8 months and not 2 years... Thanks everybody. They say a girl's friends don't define who they are but damn she had some whoreish friends. Thanks and getting over her won't be too bad, loneliness blows but so do relationships where your SO is blowing someone else
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (18 June 2012):
I think she's probably always had a thing for your best friend and this just opened up a door for her to get close to him. Since many guys think it would be their ultimate fantasy to do a threesome, your girlfriend thought she'd give it a shot, hoping you'd be game. If it doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't. But just because you refuse to go along with her plans, does not mean she won't do it without you around. You'd better keep a close eye on her after this. I think she might cheat on you later.
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (17 June 2012):
 I WOULD NOT DO IT. I've had a friend who went through this exact situation. She had a FMM with her boyfriend and one of his close friend's. At first he thought it would be adventurous. Well, that was one of the biggest mistakes in their relationship. While the boyfriend was away at work, she and his friend would fool around by themselves. They kept their little affair secret. I only knew of it once it blew up. She ended up leaving her boyfriend for his friend in the end.
They didn't really think anything was wrong with it. I mean, why would they? They've already had sex before with the boyfriend present. The only difference is that he's not there right now. Opening up your girlfriend to another guy will cuase MORE problems than fix them. Not only will she be sexually active with your best friend, she will also grow to want more from him, with or without you.
Also, what kind of best friend would even entertain the idea of sleeping with his bro's girl? I have a best friend, he has a girlfriend, I would never be comfortable with having sex with her while he's there (or when he's not). I feel that would creative serious kinks in our friendship. He's bound to feel jealousy if he really loves her. I WOULD NEVER be comfortable watching another guy having sex with my girl right in front of me. It would practically send me over the edge just watching them do all the personal things we did alone.
Your girlfriend needs to mature the hell up and realize that stuff like that should be done when you're single, not when you're in a committed realtionship. Also, sorry to say, but the fact that she's ALREADY had a person in her head to do the threesome with raises some SERIOUS red flags. It says that she's been looking at your bestfriend sexually. She wants him. She desires him enough to come up with a ridiculous idea like that. I'm afraid to say that the seed of infedelity has already been planted. It sounds as if the longer she and your bestfriend stays in contact, her lusting for him can only grow to a point where something will give.
I know you want to believe that it won't get that far. Hell, I want to believe that for you. But I've seen where this ends up first hand. They will fool around with or without you. It's your call on whether or not you consent to it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Among monogamous couples a threesome can/often does spell the end of the relationship. Either because the couple is doing it to fill a void or because the jealousy drives one person totally nuts. In general if couples come on here asking about this, my advice is always don't do it unless you are looking to break up/get divorced.
Just because her friends are doing it, doesn't mean it's a good idea. Sure they're happy to tell her about how awesome it was etc... etc... what isn't going to come out is the jealousy under the surface.
It's perfectly alright for you to say no. You don't have to allow other people into your bedroom.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (17 June 2012):
You’re right to be cautious about multiple partners within a relationship. Bringing other partners in to a relationship, especially one which started exclusively, is very risky and can often lead to the ruin of a relationship. Why? For all kinds of reasons: one partner thought their significant other enjoyed sex with the third person a bit too much, one person regrets it whilst the other wants to repeat the experience, or some-one ends up developing feelings for some-one other than their partner, to name but a few of the problems that bringing other people in to the relationship can create. Add to that mix the fact that the third person is one of your best friends, and you’re just asking for trouble! What you need to do, is make it clear to your girlfriend what you want. Tell her you want an exclusive relationship and that you’re not going to agree to the proposed threesome. If you can’t accept an open relationship, and she can’t be exclusive, I’m afraid that makes you incompatible. That might be a painful discovery that you make, then again, she might change her mind about the threesome altogether if you can explain to her all the drawbacks, but either way, you need to make your position clear and let her do the same. After that, you can look at where your relationship stands.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, curious1987 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Never do anything that U DONT want to do, no matter how much you love ur gf. If u dont want to do it, telk her NO. and if she loves and respects u then she will drop it. ive had a ffm threesome, and honestly, it caused major trust issues after wards. u also risk losing ur friensship with ur male friend coz beleve me things wont ever be the same again. ibkearnt that the hard way. Xx
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A
female
reader, here-to-hear  +, writes (17 June 2012):
I've never been through anything like this myself, but I know that if my boyfriend suggested a three-some with my best friend it would break my heart too. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be with another woman (whether I was there to witness it or not). And if he wanted to be with another woman, specifically my best friend it would be very hurtful and distressing.
Some people in relationships like threesomes, but the idea is obviously not for you and if she loves you hopefully she'll respect this.
I think you should sit her down and calmly talk to her about the implications behind her suggestion. Explain to her how hurtful the suggestion is and why you flew off the handle. Explain to her why you think even the suggestion was a bad idea. Things like this can fuel trust issues and insecurity and give you a niggling thought of "what if he's who she truly wants". This could cause a serious rift between you and your best friend and a serious rift between you and your girlfriend.
I really hope this gets resolved and that you're ok.
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