| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I cant stand the fact that my mom and dad drink. It's not that they become violent, they just become annoying and my dad even ended up hurting himself!
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question, but it's more of a "is anyone else in this situation" question. Basically, I've always been against drinking simply because I deal with it too much from my family. I find that extremely sad. "Why don'...
A. 1 July 2012: Yes I've dealt with this and the thing you have to realize is that there are things you can change and things you can't. You can change yourself, you can change how you react to their drunkeness, you can change your surroundings, but you can't ... (read in full...)
He is so selfish during sex I was nearly crying!
Q. I need help! My boyfriend is so selfish in the bedroom, we acctually end up arguing. He is my first sexual partner, I always do everything for him. We normally start kissing then go straight to having sex, and sometimes he goes so deep it hurts my ...
A. 1 July 2012: Like Cerberus said, if you want to stop being treated like a doormat, stop acting like one. It's time say no. He is treating you like a hole to masturbate into and you are the only one who can change that. It sounds like it's time to end this ... (read in full...)
I have a fear of people being sexually better than me, in my boyfriend's eyes in terms of attractiveness and performance
Q. Hi everyone, I have an odd fear. I wonder if anyone else has it. I have a fear of people being sexually better than me, in my boyfriend's eyes in terms of attractiveness and performance. I found out my boyfriend had been using porn and it played on ...
A. 30 June 2012: They can't be better in bed than you because he never had sex with them, he had sex with his hand. I have many links on my page that you may find helpful in this, I highly recommend looking at them. He was not angry about being asked to stop because ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 30 June 2012: "Women might feel horniness, but they are not as visual as men are."
As a man, you presume to speak for women how? Do you see the irony in criticizing women speaking for men by speaking for women? It does not really matter what opinions on this are ... (read in full...)
Is there a such thing as a monogamous loyal man or is that a rare animal?
Q. A male older friend of mine and I had a conversation about infedility and marriage etc...My question to all you men and or women is do you agree with my male friend that ALL men if given the opportunity for SEX will take it married or not because ...
A. 30 June 2012: I think the number is that about 22% of married men have cheated. So not only is it not rare, it's far more common that they won't cheat than that they will. Any man who claims that all men do _____ is simply trying to normalize and excuse his own ... (read in full...)
The fact that I'm completely flat chested is really starting to affect me and my relationships
Q. I'm an 18 year old female and I am completely flat chested...and i am not exaggerating when i say this for effect, i am being completely honest, i have the chest and nipples of a 7 year old boy. I have been on birth control pills for over 2 years...
A. 30 June 2012: First I'm going the "you're more than your breasts" bit. Large breasts get a lot of attention, but it's not the kind of attention that gets you a boyfriend, or any kind of quality guy. Getting stared at is not the same as finding a relationship. You ... (read in full...)
I really want to sleep with him, but I'm terrified of the pain when he breaks my hymen
Q. I've been with my guy for a while now,I really love him and really want to have sex,but I'm a virgin and the thought of my hymen breaking makes me literally sick.But on the otherhand when im with him..anytime at all I want it soo much.When were ...
A. 30 June 2012: First off, you shouldn't be having sex until he figures out where your clitoris is. If you can't even master the most basic part of sex, arousal, you should not be having sex! Let me frame it this way. Would you ever even think it's possible to have ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 30 June 2012: I will repeat myself, men who claim that all men watch porn are trying to excuse their own behavior and remove personal responsibility. As in since all men look at porn, individual men are powerless to resist it, which is total nonsense. It is a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend accuses me of cheating every day!
Q. My boyfriend accusses me of cheating everday,ive never and wld never cheat but really he is ruining what we have. I love him but im tired of defending myself it is making me physically sick! What do i do?...
A. 29 June 2012: I agree with everything said already, just wanted to add something else.
Often times when someone is irrationally afraid their partner is cheating, it is because they are cheating themselves.... (read in full...)
How did you fight the addiction to porn?
Q. I have battled addiction to internet porn sites for about 12 years now. It was a while before I realized how much it has messed up my life. Get help. Do not make the same mistake I made, okay? I wasted a bunch of time on those sites, time I will ...
A. 29 June 2012: I was going to post that link that candycane already posted. It's the best website I've seen online for this issue. It's filled with non-judgmental non-religious articles from an ex-addict on how to quit. There are also other people on there going ... (read in full...)
The perfect partner that does one thing you cannot forgive....has anyone else experienced this?
Q. Does anybody ever think someone would of been perfect for you if they just hadn't done that one thing you can't forgive? I wanted to marry my ex-boyfriend but he damaged my pride and made me feel unattractive. He didn't do it on purpose, buf it cuts ...
A. 29 June 2012: There's no way we can really comment if you don't tell us what happened.
But everyone has their dealbreakers, and it it doesn't matter how great everything else is, a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker end of story.... (read in full...)
What to do about my husband?
Q. I am 30, 31 next week. I have this problem with my husband. Saturday night is date night. We went out to eat and then to a movie. He does not do this the rest of the week, but on date night, he is picky about what I wear. When we got to...
A. 29 June 2012: Why would you stay with this guy? He dictates what you wear, (tells you to dress in a flashy way) and then gets mad when other guys find you attractive even though it's totally out of your control.
I'm pretty sure this kind of attitude is only tol... (read in full...)
Can toothpaste get rid of pimples?
Q. Iv starting developing pimples. iv been using a cream but it bleach my skin too much so iv decided to put an end to it even though it helps me. I heard tooth paste can also get rid of pimples. But i dont know how to go about it. Can tooth paste get ...
A. 29 June 2012: Toothpaste dries out whatever it's put on, which shrinks pimples. It also works if you have a bug bite. You should only use it at night as it will look white and crusty.... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 29 June 2012: Not 1 in 4 has never watched, 1 in 4 does not currently regularly watch. If you think being male trumps the most well-respected sexual behavior research institute in the country and tens of thousands of data points, well I suppose that's your ... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to ask for gift cards instead of gifts?
Q. This is not a relationship question but I am curious. My daughters first birthday is next month and we plan on keeping it simple inviting family and a few close family friends. Now I know usually people buy clothes or toys for gifts and I'm wonderin...
A. 28 June 2012: Yes just go for it. Put it on the invitations that you are trying to build up a good foundation for your baby and would love if people gave gifts in the form of gift cards or money rather than toys or clothes. I once had someone flat out ask for ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who doesn't use porn?
Q. Hi everyone, I am deadset on finding a boyfriend who doesn't use porn when in a relationship, my problem is how will I know? In what way could i find this information out? If i tell them i dont like it they will hide it from me or tell me they don't ...
A. 28 June 2012: Statistically people in highly religious or morally "oppressed" areas are MUCH more likely to watch porn than other places. I would also imagine they'd be more likely to lie about it. Religious people are the last ones I'd suggest you date for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want sex, I don't know what to do?
Q. I know I'm too young... But my boyfriend is making it very difficult to control myself. Yesterday I walked over to his house, and I noticed that no one was home. So we started making out on his couch, but I thought that was just going to be it, ...
A. 27 June 2012: OK first off, it's illegal for you two to be having sex. If either of your parents found out one or both of you could go to jail. Your boyfriend is absolutely right.
If you're feeling an overwhelming need to have sex, your best bet isn't to have ... (read in full...)
He's been talking with women on webcam when he promised he wouldn't do that anymore!
Q. So, i've had this problem of my boyfriend looking at naked women on webcams. He promised me that he wouldn't do it again because it made me feel so hurt and not good enough for him. Well, i know i shouldn't have but i snooped through his computer ...
A. 27 June 2012: Some suggestions:
Have him look through the website http://www.yourbrainonporn.com. It provides resources on how to stop, support from other people with the same goal, information on how it will benefit him to stop, and a better understa... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl?
Q. Hello everyone, I don't know if Im being paranoid by asking this question. Well, is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl? Because when my friends talk or having conversations, they boast or brag about having sex with four or more ...
A. 27 June 2012: Some guys do tend to exaggerate the number of women they've been with and the things they've done, so take it with a grain of salt. Next time this comes up, you can always brag about how awesome it is to have a girlfriend and have regular sex ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him? He clicked like on her profile!
Q. This is probably going to be the silliest question I've ever asked and I'm a bit embarrassed asking advice on this but the other day my boyfriend " liked " a girls picture on Facebook. He says it was his friend but since then it's made me very ...
A. 27 June 2012: I suppose it depends on the kind of photo. If it was a photo of her showing off her cleavage in a new bikini, that's pretty disrespectful and insensitive. If it truly is just a nice photo, like a well-done senior photo or something, then yes you are ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to only want sex?
Q. Is it ok to only want sex? I mean I see that women are often irritated because the new guy they just met only seems to be interested in sex. What's wrong with that? ...
A. 27 June 2012: Because you are using her for her body. No one wants to feel used. Also women who engage in casual sex rarely have orgasms, so there isn't much in it for them a lot of the time. The women who get upset about this are usually upset because some guy ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man and don't know how to handle things
Q. I'm in a tough situation. I'm seeing a married man. I've known him since I was around 14 years old, I've also been in love with him since the day we met. We had a fling back in high school. After high school, I took off and left the state. He ...
A. 27 June 2012: Every married person who cheats on their spouse ever spoon feeds their mistress the exact same line this guy is, that their spouse is mean and they always fight and they're so unhappy and they don't have sex anymore and they're being neglected ... (read in full...)
My wife does not initiate sex!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3yrs. we have 1loving daughter together but she has no sex drive and never initiate sex I always initiate and when we have sex she just lay there she gets into it but we only do it like 8 times a year if that and ...
A. 27 June 2012: "I don't read many suggestions on here that the wives should make things easier for their men by taking on some of their work and easing their load!"
Maybe because the vast majority of women work too?... (read in full...)
He lies about watching porn and its damaging our sex life
Q. Hi everyone, Ive been in a relationship for almost 2 years and i always make it clear at the start of a relationship i don't accept porn, reason being i don't feel its needed when you have a partner willing to please you, it just makes me feel una...
A. 27 June 2012: I have a ton of links on my profile that I think you will find helpful (just click on my name and it will take you there), but first check out this one:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
You're not being unreasonable at all, don't let anyone try t... (read in full...)
Is she interested in a threesome or not?
Q. I have discussed with my wife having a threesome. We were watching porn one evening and I asked her if she would prefer mfm or fmf, she said mfm of course if she was to do it and she was not that interested. Ok....I did get an answer. The ...
A. 26 June 2012: "she seemed to be thinking of him for she was acting differently while I fucked her."
Or she could be offended that you were pushing so much for a threesome. I highly doubt she was thinking of him or having a threesome with him.
Your wife isn't i... (read in full...)
Does sex really matter all that much?
Q. Hey everyone. Lots of magazines and articles talk about "sexual compatibility" and paramount on sexual pleasure with your partner. I haven't had an orgasm yet with my boyfriend (still testing things out and finding what I like), so I wonder does sex ...
A. 26 June 2012: Once you've had an orgasm you won't be thinking that... I hate to be harsh, but do you think there's even a chance your boyfriend would still be with you if you weren't giving him orgasms?
Sexual compatibility is very important. Without it you'r... (read in full...)
He's been talking with women on webcam when he promised he wouldn't do that anymore!
Q. So, i've had this problem of my boyfriend looking at naked women on webcams. He promised me that he wouldn't do it again because it made me feel so hurt and not good enough for him. Well, i know i shouldn't have but i snooped through his computer ...
A. 26 June 2012: I agree totally with Tisha-1. He knows you don't want to break up with him, and knows that he can continue to treat you like garbage because you won't do anything about it. I know you love him, but at what cost? Don't kid yourself into thinking ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for your pubic hair to grow back?
Q. Okay ladies, I have a question for you. How long does it take for your pubic hair to grow back? I tried shaving almost all of it off, thought I liked it at first, but now I can't stand it...the maintaining is too time consuming and I am startin...
A. 26 June 2012: It's pretty uncomfortable the first 4 days to a week, then it starts to get better. I used to shave pretty much all of it off and then I stopped. A few things to try, wear cotton underwear that isn't particularly tight, wear skirts and dresses so ... (read in full...)
She doesn't get 'wet' before sex, is it me?
Q. I have been dating a girl and mostly things are fine but i have a bit of an issue with sex. The problem is that my girlfriend does not get 'wet' very easily. I usually initiate sex and we have it pretty regularly... 3 times a week. When using...
A. 26 June 2012: Wetness is not a good indicator of arousal. Some women don't get wet very easily, some take a really long time, some women are simply dehydrated, if she's having orgasms it's pretty obvious she's turned on and enjoying herself! There's nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
My mom breastfeeds my brother in public and I hate it!
Q. I hate it when my mom breastfeeds my baby brother in public. What should I do? She has done it several times. Why the hell would she wanna do it in public? She's crazy. It embarrasses the hell out of me. It's also disgusting. Is there a way I ca...
A. 26 June 2012: Is this a joke?! Did you honestly think boobs exist just so men can stare at them or as decoration? They are for feeding babies.
If it's such a problem then walk away and don't look.
"at least confined to the home, where other family members p... (read in full...)
My wife does not initiate sex!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3yrs. we have 1loving daughter together but she has no sex drive and never initiate sex I always initiate and when we have sex she just lay there she gets into it but we only do it like 8 times a year if that and ...
A. 25 June 2012: I notice you talk a lot about how infrequent the sex is, about how it affects you, but you don't mention what you do to make sex better for her. This should be obvious, but if sex was fun for her she'd want to do it. If it's not, then it will fall ... (read in full...)
He's been talking with women on webcam when he promised he wouldn't do that anymore!
Q. So, i've had this problem of my boyfriend looking at naked women on webcams. He promised me that he wouldn't do it again because it made me feel so hurt and not good enough for him. Well, i know i shouldn't have but i snooped through his computer ...
A. 25 June 2012: I think many people would consider cyber sex/webcam sex to be cheating. He's been lying to you and is unwilling to stop, it is probably time to move on. He does not value your feelings or respect you.
If you are also struggling with porn, that is ... (read in full...)
Is my best friend racist? Or am I just being over-sensitive?
Q. Ok so my best friend is Caucasian, and I am African American. I totally understand why she would want to date a white guy, because it is something that I understand the agreements and disagreements of that topic being offensive. But we live in a ...
A. 25 June 2012: Sounds like she's less racist and more insensitive and ignorant. I know a lot of white people feel like they're somehow cooler for having any kind of a minority friend and it makes them feel even cooler if they are "in" enough to make jokes and ... (read in full...)
My ex told me my boobs are small and I can't get over it. Is bigger really better?
Q. My ex, the only guy I've ever been sexual with, told me my breasts are too small and I still can't get over it. I know he's not the only man on earth, but I've heard my other male friends talk about breasts and it's always a case of "the bigger the ...
A. 24 June 2012: I once heard someone give the best argument ever in defense of small boobs. It is just been an internet meme, but it was pretty spot on. It's also a little vulgar, so sorry about that.
But basically this one woman was being teased by a bunch of... (read in full...)
When I cum it looks like I've wet the bed
Q. I've got a quite embarrassing problem, when my boyfriend is pleasuring me and I reach my climax I seem to realease a large amount and it goes everywhere as if I've wet the bed, I don't know if this is a problem or if theirs anything I do to control ...
A. 24 June 2012: It's called ejaculation and there's really no way you can control it. It's NOT urine, just be sure to pee before you start. Many guys find this a turn on, so try not to be self-conscious about it. Just put down a towel folded at least 2 or 3 times ... (read in full...)
How can I get a bigger butt?
Q. Hi everyone. Im the slim type but my problem is i have a small butt, how can i get a bigger butt without applying any cream? What kind of exercises are suitable to get a bigger butt? Please your advice are welcome...
A. 23 June 2012: What Sageoldguy said, as long as you're healthy guys just tend to like soft bits in all sizes. You don't need to look like Beyoncé. I always thought I had too small a butt, but guys go pretty crazy for it even though it's petite.... (read in full...)
Suggestions for prom make-up?
Q. Hello everyone, this is not a relationship question but I'm so stuck I dont know who to ask! Ok so it's my prom night in less than a week now, and I'm so stuck on what make up to use, I have a red fishtail dress which has a lot of detail on my le...
A. 23 June 2012: You could either do a basic gray smokey eye or a gold smokey eye would also be gorgeous. Doing a smokey eye PLUS red lips is overkill though. Like you said, you don't want to look like a clown. It depends which feature you want to play up more. My ... (read in full...)
Is getting pregnant at 15 the right thing to do?
Q. Well, im 15... And me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months, now heres my issue, when we hit a year... My boyfriend wants a BABY..... Okay look, I absoulutly ADORE babies, I LOVE them. And I have no problem with pregnancy at this age.... ...
A. 22 June 2012: NO NO NO this is a terrible idea.
You've only been together for the length of a pregnancy, even in an older couple that's WAY WAY WAY too soon. 9 months is not enough time to get to know someone well enough to permanently bind yourself to them for... (read in full...)
Why all of a sudden has she started saying that she can hang out but when I ask her when she's free she doesn't reply?
Q. alright, long question here: ok so about a year or so ago i had told this girl whom i had been really good friends with for about 2 years that i liked her as more than a friend and she was super cool about it but she told me that she liked someone ...
A. 22 June 2012: Bottom line, if someone wants to be with you, they will be. Sorry to tell you, but she's just not interested. If someone wants to go on a date, they will be jumping for joy at the chance and even if they're playing it cool, they will still schedule ... (read in full...)
I had a sex dream about his teenage sister! Why?
Q. I am 27 years old male. I have a friend, Stephen, that is a 23 years old male (I played football with him in high school). The problem is that I had a sex dream about his 16 years old sister, Lisa. In my dream we were in her room making out ...
A. 21 June 2012: People have sex dreams about people and things they aren't attracted to all the time, including inanimate objects, family members, close friends, people they hate, people they find actively unattractive, etc... Our brains are weird, dreams have very ... (read in full...)
Irrational fear of my boyfriend masturbating
Q. Over 2 years ago I was sexually assaulted. A few months later I met my current boyfriend. After maybe 6 months of us being together, I found that he had looked at porn. I dont know what happened in my brain but I totally lost it and honestly it ...
A. 21 June 2012: You need to talk to a professional about your past sexual abuse. I know you say you can't get access, but if you have internet you can get access. There are people who will talk over Skype (just make sure to check their background so you don't get ... (read in full...)
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