| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 7 July 2012: Male anon seems to be confusing masturbation with pornography, as though they are somehow synonymous. Masturbation is a normal healthy activity. Pornography is a corporate, highly addictive, product designed with nothing in mind but to make money.
... (read in full...)
Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 6 July 2012: We both said this has nothing to do with you, your appearance, or your sex life. If the porn use is bothering you, you can talk to him about that, please read the links on my profile. That book is also helpful.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I want to adopt, but friends and family are against gays' raising children. Advise please?
Q. Hi Im a gay woman who is in a very healthy relationship of 3 years and recently I have became really broody and would like to adopt in the near future with my girlfriend, we have discussed children before and she also would like to have them one...
A. 6 July 2012: Oh give me a break! If children need a mother and a father to be raised, do they believe that single parents shouldn't be allowed to raise children? In my opinion bigots shouldn't be allowed to raise kids, but I assume at least some of your family ... (read in full...)
What are the benefits of having good credit?
Q. What are the benefits of having good credit? I always use cash for personal expenses, and my parents' credit cards for big expenses such as tuition and textbooks. My parents are encouraging me to start using a credit card under my name, although ...
A. 6 July 2012: Pretty much everything. If you ever need to apply for a loan, get a mortgage, buying a car, etc... Everything YouWish said. It's a great idea. Don't use the credit card as a loan, use it the same way as a debit card. Don't buy anything you can't pay ... (read in full...)
Do employers look at college transcripts?
Q. I'm going to be a 4th year in university. I attend a reputable business school but I'm a C-average student. B-average within my GE classes. Do employers look at grades? Unfortunately I chose my major when I didn't know what I want so I'm not ...
A. 6 July 2012: About half the places I've applied for have asked for a transcript. It usually has to do with how large the company is and how formal the hiring process is. With large companies where they hire an outside group to assist with the forms and ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband watching porn when we have sex every week?
Q. Can anyone help me out here? I accidentally click on the history on my husband's mobile and realise my husband have been watching porno films in it. In fact, quite oftenly. We have sex like every week once or twice, but I just feel very bother...
A. 5 July 2012: It has literally nothing to do with you, for most guys it's a habit totally separate from horniness or desire. For most users they can be totally and completely satisfied sex-wise, have the hottest girlfriend or wife in the world, and still feel ... (read in full...)
Is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else?
Q. Hi there. Okay, I've been texting this guy my friend is setting me up with, but the guy already has a girlfriend. I do really like him, and my question is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else. Their relationship is rocky ac...
A. 5 July 2012: I didn't mean you're sleeping with him right now, just where it was leading. There's no water to test, it's like jumping in the pool after you already had a thermometer in it. You know he has a girlfriend.
Why don't you tell your friend that you... (read in full...)
Are children a dealbreaker?
Q. Okay, a little survey i have. I was watching a tv show, and the woman in question wanted kids, the man already had a grown son and didn't want anymore. The woman just rolled over and agreed to no children! I want children when im older, i think if ...
A. 5 July 2012: I don't think TV shows are known for their realism! Having children or not is one of the biggest dealbreakers possible in most relationships. I don't think I know anyone who is kind of neutral about kids.... (read in full...)
Is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else?
Q. Hi there. Okay, I've been texting this guy my friend is setting me up with, but the guy already has a girlfriend. I do really like him, and my question is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else. Their relationship is rocky ac...
A. 5 July 2012: Which sounds worse to you:
A girlfriend who is rumored to be controlling, or a woman who knowingly has sex with other women's boyfriends?
If she really is as bad as she's rumored to be, then he will eventually leave her. Until then, he's off l... (read in full...)
Will my wife be noticeably affected, physically, and during lovemaking, by our seven month time apart ?
Q. Im going to visit my wife in about a week . We are in a LDR . Its the longest we have gone without seeing each other , the last time we had sex was 7 months ago . My question is .... how do i satisfy her on out first time after so long.... i kn...
A. 5 July 2012: For me, after a long period of no sex the biggest problem is chafing. Get a good lube and you should be golden! She won't be tighter, but she'll probably feel tighter than you remember because you missed sex. Don't stress about it, I doubt anything ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said I can sleep with prostitutes if I wear a condom
Q. I have the most loveliest girlfriend in the world. She is so sweet and adores me. I love her so much and I can't imagine not being without her. Then 2 days ago she said to me she allows me to have sex with prostitutes if I wear a condom. She sai...
A. 4 July 2012: We live in a culture that teaches both men and women that men are entitled to fulfill just about any sexual desire they want, regardless of the impact on their partners. Usually that stops short of actually having sex with other people, but that's ... (read in full...)
Is love over exaggerated?
Q. Can LOVE really exist between 2 people? Can two people really find what they are looking for each other? Or is LOVE an idea that is over exaggerated in movies, songs and novels? Do people really find someone they can be happy with forever? Or is it ...
A. 4 July 2012: It's both. Real true love does exist, but the power it has is also exagerrated in movies. Media teaches that love conquers all and it absolutely doesn't. It teaches us that love is worth sacrificing everything for and it isn't (except in the case of ... (read in full...)
Is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else?
Q. Hi there. Okay, I've been texting this guy my friend is setting me up with, but the guy already has a girlfriend. I do really like him, and my question is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else. Their relationship is rocky ac...
A. 4 July 2012: She has to have some other motive. Don't trust her and don't pursue this guy.... (read in full...)
Could taking Plan B cause my period to be this late?
Q. Ok so to begin with, Im kind of paranoid about everything all the time and I worry about being a day late for my normally 28 day cycle. I took plan b after a mishap on June 5th. (He did not finish inside me but I was still worried). My last period ...
A. 4 July 2012: I wouldn't say it has horrible effects! It just sometimes delays your period. It's literally exactly the same as a birth control pill, it's not some scary mystery voodoo drug.
But anyways, I'm glad you're starting the pill and can have a little m... (read in full...)
My wife never buys me gifts that I like. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill here?
Q. My wife of 20 years never buys me gifts I like and never has. This may seem like a small matter, but it is a festering issue in our marriage. She says that I am unappreciative and that she can't do any right by me. From my perspective, I feel l...
A. 4 July 2012: Some people are great gift-givers and other struggle with it. For instance my boyfriend is the worst gift giver in the world. One time he saw a dress he thought was pretty and I told him, no that would not be a good dress for me. He brought it up a ... (read in full...)
Is he going off me already?
Q. hi there, I met a guy at a friends country house wkd away and we just clicked and hit it off and were inseparable for most of the wkd. We did not exchange numbers as we both left at different times, but as soon as I returned from the wkd he ha...
A. 4 July 2012: You're reading WAY too much into this. If one of my friends asks a meaningless question at the end of the text I take it to be as good as saying bye and leave it at that.
Moving is not something you do with someone you don't know. It's very per... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't orgasm during intercourse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together around 9 months. We slept together for the first time around 3 months in, and it was my first time. As we live far away from each other, we only see each other every 2-4 weeks so in our 9 months we haven't slept ...
A. 4 July 2012: Have you thought about other methods of birth control, like an IUD?... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend and I can't agree on vacation plans!
Q. im in a ldr situation. my boyfriend and i plan to have vacation together. but theres an arguing thing about me and him like i want to go to beach but he knows it that i want to go there but he always asking me if i really want to go and why i like ...
A. 4 July 2012: Why is he paying for all of it? Why can't you split it? Also why is Hawaii, one of the most expensive places to get a beach house, your only beach option? Even further, why is renting a house, the most expensive option, your first choice? That's ... (read in full...)
How can I make anal sex pleasurable?
Q. Ok ladies, how do you make anal sex more comfortable? Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I would love to try it and enjoy it but it just hurts so much! My man hasn't been real pushy about it since the first few times we tried and failed ...
A. 4 July 2012: When he's about to enter you from behind, take his penis and move it down a few inches so it goes into your vagina instead. If anal sex hurts, then don't have it! Why on Earth should you suffer while your boyfriend enjoys himself when there's a ... (read in full...)
How to get rid of my down there odour?
Q. Every boy I have slept with (2 boys, which were relationships) and after the relationships had finished they would say that I smelled down below (of fish) I was so humiliated, I'm a very clean person, and take pride in my hygiene and appearance. But ...
A. 4 July 2012: " seems to happen mainly after sex."
Does he use a condom or does he finish inside you? Because semen can throw off you pH and such. If my bf finishes inside me I definitely smell fishy.... (read in full...)
STI tests and the IUD?
Q. When I met my current boyfriend (at 18) I had no sexual experience, I'd never even been kissed. During the two years that have passed since, he's become my first for everything. We've always used condoms during sex because at the moment it's the ...
A. 3 July 2012: No you don't need to be tested unless you're had previous naked genital on naked genital contact and/or you've gotten someone's blood or sexual fluids in yours (sharing needles, etc...).
Most STI tests don't test for HIV, so he should probably... (read in full...)
Will I pee or have an orgasm?
Q. I was being fingered by my bf and i felt like i had to pee the whole time will i end up peeing of will my body just have an orgasm?...
A. 3 July 2012: Some women feel an urge to pee when they have their G spot stimulated, it's isn't urine. If you like the sensation, just be sure to go to the bathroom beforehand and put down some towels. If any fluid does come out, you don't have to worry because ... (read in full...)
What are the unwritten rules about living together?
Q. what are the rules of moving in togather? Does the man always have to tell the wife/gf where he is going,what hes doing, vice verser with the girl, does she tell her man where she is going if she steps out the door, visitin rules who can visit who ...
A. 3 July 2012: Everyone has their own things that work for them. My mom and step-dad frequently don't know where the other is, while my dad and step-mom always do. With my boyfriend we always tell the other where we're going or if we'll be late coming home. It's ... (read in full...)
Is it true that the most attractive girls don't get married first?
Q. My friend has some theories on why the most attractive girls often stay single longer than the less attractive ones. Tell me if you think this is true, or if there are some major confounders at work that would explain it better. If all ladies ...
A. 3 July 2012: Hot is such a relative term. There are women who are gorgeous but also have class and subtlety and then there are the hot women who wear bandage mini dresses and go out drinking every weekend. I think you are partially rating beauty based on male ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship something I can salvage? Is my resentment of my boyfriend due to this intellectual gap normal, or is it symptomatic of a deeper issue?
Q. My boyfriend isn't my intellectual equal. We've been going out for over 2 years and I'm contemplating ending it. While he is friendly, nice, and I would like to think loyal, we have never had an intellectually stimulating conversation. NEVER. HE ...
A. 3 July 2012: It doesn't sound like this relationship is worth salvaging. Generally in terms of attractiveness, intelligence, and education being at least somewhat matched is ideal. Otherwise there will a power balance problem in the relationship. If you are ... (read in full...)
I found a txt from another girl
Q. Me and my boyfriend were in his car, and his phone vibrated. i looked down at his phone and saw a girl's name flash up, i didnt recognise the name. i asked my boyfriend whos that. and he said i dnt kno, i dnt kno this girl. i read the txt and it ...
A. 3 July 2012: This is almost as red-handed as actually catching him with someone else. There is no possible explanation other than he's cheating on you, sorry.... (read in full...)
I'm confused is he shy or just not interested in me?
Q. I seen this guy on friday night who used to be in my college class and i do have a crush on him, i seen him stare at me as my friend and I past him to walk to the bar. As my friend and I were chatting i seen him getting closer to us but he didnt say ...
A. 2 July 2012: Why can't you make the first move? Guys don't always have to do it, they're just as scared of rejection as women are. If you like him and are getting vibes he likes you too, ask him out!... (read in full...)
How to get rid of my down there odour?
Q. Every boy I have slept with (2 boys, which were relationships) and after the relationships had finished they would say that I smelled down below (of fish) I was so humiliated, I'm a very clean person, and take pride in my hygiene and appearance. But ...
A. 2 July 2012: The itchiness plus the fish smell means you probably either have an infection or are irritated. Try an unscented liquid soap, stop using bubblebath and see if that helps. Also wear cotton (not thong) underwear. If it doesn't within a week or so, go ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to make it obvious that I'm not that glamourous
Q. Hi everyone, as anyone ever been in a relationship with someone where they knew the person didn't find them as physically attractive as other people and felt like you were being wasted on them? My boyfriend seems to make it obvious that I'm not that ...
A. 2 July 2012: Your boyfriend sounds like a moron. Why would you want to date someone who purposefully makes you feel bad about yourself? You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel great about yourself. You shouldn't stay with someone who tears you down ... (read in full...)
Could taking Plan B cause my period to be this late?
Q. Ok so to begin with, Im kind of paranoid about everything all the time and I worry about being a day late for my normally 28 day cycle. I took plan b after a mishap on June 5th. (He did not finish inside me but I was still worried). My last period ...
A. 2 July 2012: Plan B is a high dose birth control pill, literally that is all that is in it. Those hormones can absolutely mess with your cycle. I have taken Plan B a couple times because I rely on condoms and it messes up my period absolutely every time. Try not ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on him. Yet always he is IN a relationship. But he Does know I like him.
Q. I have a crush on this guy in my year. He knows I like him, but I don't know if he likes me. Since I told him, he doesn't act weird. I can never talk to him about it because he is always in a relationship. What do I do?...
A. 2 July 2012: You do nothing, The ball is in his court and if he wanted to act, he would. Unfortunately it sounds like he's not interested but still likes you as a friend. Time to move on.... (read in full...)
I want to be sexy for my guy but don't have the money for new clothes
Q. Hey! Im gonna be spending some intimate time with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and almost 2 months (yay!) Well im looking for some lingerie ideas but i cant really go out and buy anything so im trying to use some clothes that I a...
A. 2 July 2012: "No need to try it on, if it looks good on the hanger and on the floor it will do. After all that is where it is going to be most of the time."
Hahahaha. I love this! It's so true.... (read in full...)
My 13 year old Bf of one month wants to move to 'touching' (second base). Is it too early to push for this?
Q. Okay, I am 14, my boyfriend is 13, been together for over a month. He wants to move to second base ( feeling/touching..), if it's okay with me. I just wonder if that's too soon.. :/ ...
A. 2 July 2012: If you are not comfortable with it, then it's too soon.... (read in full...)
Can a marriage work with different hobbies/interests?
Q. Can a marriage work with different hobbies/interests? I just feel so lonely that all we do together is watch tv. Have talked and tried to arrange more things together but he just not interested. We agreed to a walk on the beach recently but it ...
A. 2 July 2012: This isn't an issue of hobbies not meshing, opposites attract in that sense a lot of the time.
This is not a healthy relationship. He makes you feel worthless and puts you down all the time, he drags and tears you down for absolutely no reason. ... (read in full...)
B/f will never finish inside of me. How can I get him to do so?
Q. Ive been with this guy for 6 months now and its going great. The sex we have is amazing, we just seem to have so much chemistry and I cant get enough of it! But he never ejaculates inside of me. We have sex and then he will finish off on my breasts ...
A. 2 July 2012: Actually I bet he's telling the truth. Finishing on your face is a very dominating thing to do, it's not something a guy does "just because" or because he is trying to avoid pregnancy, it's a very deliberate place to finish. Same with breasts. Both ... (read in full...)
My friends broke up and I like the guy. Do I go out with him? I don't want to hurt her
Q. Where to start.. A couple I am friends with broke up a couple of weeks ago. I have been friends with the guy for just over 3 years and have been pretty much best friends with the girl since she moved to town about 2.5 years ago. My problem is the g...
A. 2 July 2012: You have two options, you can either ignore him or you can ask your friend if it's OK. The worry with the second option is whether she'll lie and say she's OK with it when really she's not. I think it's very risky, especially when the break up is so ... (read in full...)
I want to be sexy for my guy but don't have the money for new clothes
Q. Hey! Im gonna be spending some intimate time with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and almost 2 months (yay!) Well im looking for some lingerie ideas but i cant really go out and buy anything so im trying to use some clothes that I a...
A. 2 July 2012: I'll be honest, I think expensive lingerie for seducing guys is a waste of money. It's only worth it if it makes you feel sexy. For instance it's a confidence boost for me to know that under my work clothes are sexy underwear. Most of the guys I ... (read in full...)
Weird feeling when I see my boyfriend after dirty talk
Q. me and my boyfriend are open about talking bout sex but when we talks dirty to me and i talk dirty back i feel very weird when i see him the next day. we text back and forth sexy stuff. i think its hot but im so scared to face him the next day. lik...
A. 2 July 2012: It might help if you said it on the phone rather than over text. People use text-based things to say things they wouldn't normally say with their own voice. It means no face to face. So if you were able to say it out loud, I think it would be ... (read in full...)
Should I relocate to end a LDR?
Q. what are the pro's and con's of moving in with your loved ones? can anyone share there experiences, and is this something that wil be good for long term effect or short? i want my relo to last i am in a sort of LDR (long distance) but unsure if we...
A. 2 July 2012: I think if you can think of pros to being far apart there's a problem. The point of a long distance relationship is generally that there is an end in sight when you can be together. I suppose it also sort of depends how long you've been together and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's turning off his phone when I need him the most!
Q. Hey everyone I've been feeling so depressed lately,I don't wanna talk to no one. But my boyfriend called me and I told him to text me, I didn't feel Like talking, he asked me what was wrong and I said I can't tell him, it's was a very private mat...
A. 1 July 2012: You told him you wanted space, so he's giving you space. If someone behaved with me the way you were behaving with him I'd be bracing myself to get dumped and giving them as much breathing room as I could. If you want your boyfriend to be there for ... (read in full...)
Could I do better elsewhere? Is the job market really so bad in USA?
Q. Over the last year, I've been doing my Masters degree at the uni in a city not too far from my hometown, and it's been fully funded/well paid. The place I'm living in at the moment is expensive, but I've found a cheaper/nicer place with friends ...
A. 1 July 2012: Why don't you talk to your supervisor about other options?
The job market does suck, but not nearly so much for anyone with a graduate degree. It also really depends on what your degree is in. If you're say, an engineer, you will have zero pro... (read in full...)
It makes me mad they weren't interested before I lost weight!
Q. I have lost alot weight over the past few months and have really changed my look and how I dress. One of my motivations in losing weight was that I was hoping to meet someone, and sure enough now I have started to get a bit of attention from guy...
A. 1 July 2012: I know exactly what you mean. I used to be a dancer and when I quit dancing I went up to a size 8, and since I was in college I didn't really care THAT much about looking nice (makeup and clothes). Somehow I wound up with an awesome boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I cant stand the fact that my mom and dad drink. It's not that they become violent, they just become annoying and my dad even ended up hurting himself!
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question, but it's more of a "is anyone else in this situation" question. Basically, I've always been against drinking simply because I deal with it too much from my family. I find that extremely sad. "Why don'...
A. 1 July 2012: Yes I've dealt with this and the thing you have to realize is that there are things you can change and things you can't. You can change yourself, you can change how you react to their drunkeness, you can change your surroundings, but you can't ... (read in full...)
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