| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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If I started dating to spice up my marriage would that be cuckolding my husband?
Q. AS a joke my husband took and posted few photos of me on the internet. Over time he received loads of request for more and after telling me what he did it became a real turn-on for us both. I later started a web-site and the request for more, gifts ...
A. 1 August 2012: Even if you weren't married, this could be extremely dangerous for you. It's doubtful the men who visit your site will view you as a real human being rather than a fantasy or sex object. This could end VERY badly for you.
As for your marriage... (read in full...)
Virgin with extremely high sex drive but don't want premarital sex!
Q. i am 24 year old female and virgin. I have an extremely high sex drive. Yet, I am a virgin and I havent even had my first kiss. Yeah, I have masturbated, but that hasnt helped and I dont want to continue masturbating either. Personally, I dont think ...
A. 1 August 2012: There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it's not bad for you. It's actually good for you mentally and physically and for your future sex life.
You unfortunately just have to wait it out. The suggestion below that you try to take your mind off... (read in full...)
How should a man treat a women, now a days?
Q. How should a man treat a women now a days, anyways? We se so many shows and have so many social pressures, both on men and women, but mostly on women. Also though i think it's difficult to get to know someone, becuase of that persons past, with ...
A. 31 July 2012: You need to just be genuine. That's all there is to it. I dated guys who did everything right, but I could tell it was a show and it never worked out. Then I met someone who did everything wrong but I could tell he was very genuine and there was ... (read in full...)
She lost the baby and she is crying and very upset. How do I comfort and support her?
Q. When we found out she was pregnant, it was a shock, she was excited but i was not so keen as i didn't ever see myself having kids. I got used to the idea and got excited and we went to look at baby clothes on the weekend and we had our first 12...
A. 31 July 2012: You just need to be there for her, hold her and comfort her and make sure she knows she's not alone. I agree that a symbolic funeral could be a good gesture, but definitely do what the other poster suggested and put it in someone else's yard than ... (read in full...)
How did you pick you wedding bands?
Q. Hi! This is a very shallow question but here it is. So, I'm getting married soon. Fiancé and I are going to pick up wedding bands this weekend. We both agreed we like them platinum, but I think I'd rather have it gold, you know, real yellow gold ...
A. 31 July 2012: Why don't you each get the color you want? They don't have to match. Anyone who sees a plain metal band on your left hand will know you're married. Each of you should just get what's appealing.... (read in full...)
Can you tell someone has had anal sex by looking at their bottom?
Q. Hey there everyone! So... I was in a 5-yr-relationship with this guy and we used to have a quite a lot of anal sex. I didn't really like it, but he loved it so I tried to make him happy. Since we broke up I decided I'd never do anal just to make ...
A. 31 July 2012: Not unless you injured yourself (which would be immediately apparent by a need to wear diapers). He can't tell. But why would it matter anyways? As long as you explained it's something that you hate/your ex pressured you into doing and will not do ... (read in full...)
I had a strange dream about a MFM with my wife. What does it mean?
Q. So I had the weirdest dream. I am married 3 years. Last night, I had a dream. In my dream, one of my semi-close friends and I were screwing my wife. In my dream, we were switching positions on her and she was enjoying it. I don't think this could...
A. 31 July 2012: Nothing at all. People have strange sex dreams about odd things and people all the time for no reason at all. It doesn't even mean it's something that would turn you on, it's just the crazy thing your brain happened to come up with that night. Don't ... (read in full...)
We both love each other but I am jealous about the men he hooks up with!
Q. I am 18 and have been seeing a boy on and off for well over 2 and a half years. We're both in love with each other but about 9 months ago I found out that he thinks he's bisexual. At first I was so shocked and thought he was jokin with me. We had a ...
A. 30 July 2012: Bisexual doesn't mean one of each. He's both using you as a "show girlfriend" and using you to have his cake and eat it too. Either way he's being highly disrespectful and dismissive of your feelings. It's time to end it. ... (read in full...)
To me he is perfect. We plan to marry. But do you think he is gay? What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years. He told me approx a year ago that before we got together he had two sexual encounters with another male. He said these two occasions happened within a few weeks of each other. They didnt h...
A. 28 July 2012: I could be wrong, it's not like online gaydar exists, but I don't see how he could not be gay. He fantasizes about men. Even when he's with you, it sounds like he's fantasizing that he's with a man (no one specific, I just mean that he has to think ... (read in full...)
We broke up last week. With No Contact, his idea. But can I still text him to wish him good luck with exams? Or wait?
Q. Hey Me and my bf broke up last week. I met him after 2 days asking him to be friends he disagreed for any contact. I maintained the no contact rule and today is the sixth day. He has exams on monday therefore, can I text him to wish him good lu...
A. 28 July 2012: I understand you're hurting and it's hard not having him in your life anymore, but what are you hoping to accomplish with this text? If you're honest with yourself, what are you actually hoping this text will accomplish? You and I both know you're ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend behave like this? He was most insistent about wanting sex.
Q. Hi, I really need to know that you think is going through my boyfriends head because this has never happened to me before in any relationship I have been in. I was getting ready to go out with a group of girlfriends one evening. About an hour bef...
A. 28 July 2012: So let me get this straight. You said you didn't want to have sex, so he physically restrained you and wouldn't let go until you said yes? If a friend told you her boyfriend did this to her, what would you say? I'm guessing you'd be concerned about ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I had a nasty fight and I don't want to keep calling him!
Q. Dear cupid my bf was flirting with a married girl from his office in his Facebook. it was disgusting and we had a nasty fight. He left and i called his mobile more times that i am supposed to. sent him couple of messages. What should i do now...
A. 28 July 2012: Go for a walk, stop calling him. You're not accomplishing anything. Just go for a walk and clear your head, calm down, sleep on it, and then decide whether to continue your relationship once you're calm and thinking clearly.... (read in full...)
We agreed we would only watch porn together, but now I've found loads of porn sites on his computer and phone! How do I confront him about this?
Q. I have been in a few relationships where my boyfriends would watch porn. I had a very hard time with it at first because I felt that I wasn't good enough so they had to look elsewhere... I now have done more research and understand it more - so ...
A. 27 July 2012: To me there's a pretty clear cut difference between watching it together and watching alone and I entirely see why you would be upset by the lying. Like I said, that book is a great one for helping you understand why he would feel such a strong need ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl get scared off and shy away from guy if he's never had a Gf before?
Q. A question for you girls. If a girl ask a guy when was your last relationship and the guy replies he never had one why would the girl get scared off and not give that person a chance? Though he is very nice and friendly why do women shun away ...
A. 27 July 2012: That seems pretty weird to me. Some women who are lacking in confidence need the proof that someone else has found a guy "dating material" before they will take the leap I think. I've never understood it. My boyfriend had never had a girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Do girls masturbate?
Q. hi i reacently talked to a good friend whos a girl and she addmited to me this got me wondering.... do other girls masturbate too?...
A. 27 July 2012: Women don't have separate feelings and urges from men. We all get urges.... (read in full...)
Could this make someone pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend touched me and then touched the outside of her underwear lightly. I had noticed some pre-ejaculate earlier that was on my underwear. She noticed that she was a bit 'wet' afterwards from herself. She did not feel any liquid from me. It ...
A. 27 July 2012: Sperm can't get through fabric. They can't survive being exposed to air. They can't jump the distance between fabric and skin. They can't move along her skin to get to her vagina.
Then on top of everything, unless you ejaculated after last uri... (read in full...)
B/f and I don't have anything to talk about and bore each other
Q. I am in love with my boyfriend and I care for him so much but the problem is that whenever we are together we don't have a topic and tend to bore one another easily...What can I do to improve this situation because I really love my boyfriend....
A. 26 July 2012: So learn things! Become a more interesting person, read the news and talk about it. Read things on wikipedia and talk about them. Go for walks, go look at things, observe people. If you do interesting things you will be able to think of interesting ... (read in full...)
Is it too much fir me to want my wife to wear a little make-up?
Q. I really need advice.I have been maried for 18 years.my question is we have one dissagrement I would really like it if my wife would wear a little mascara, eye shadow and lipstick.Not everyday just like three or four times a year.l love her she is ...
A. 26 July 2012: I wear makeup every day, I love makeup. Putting it on is my favorite thing to do in the morning. It's time consuming and requires a lot of focus, thought, and money and it's very easy for me to see why many women would not want to do it. It's just a ... (read in full...)
Ladies: What Keeps A Guy Out Your Friend Zone?
Q. I've noticed that some guys sabotage their own luck with women, and may not know it. What they do to woo a woman, can sometimes end up friendzoning him instead. Outside physical attraction (which may be outside your control), what things can a guy...
A. 26 July 2012: Ah the "friendzone." The friendzone is a term made up to vilify women who turn men down for sex after that man has made an emotional investment in her. It's essentially a term of entitlement that guys deserve sex if they put in some effort with a ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize about your partner being with someone else well your masturbating?
Q. I was wondering is it normal to fantasize about your partner being with someone else well your masturbating? I dont understand it because when im not doing any thing sexual the thought of him being with someone else kills me but during the heat of ...
A. 26 July 2012: Yes, very common. Don't worry about it, it doesn't mean you want your partner to cheat on you.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to experiment with women to gain sexual experience even though I won't be dating them?
Q. Recently I was having a chat with a friend and the subject of my virginity came up. He ask why I still choose to keep it because girls our age aren't anymore. He got me thinking that when I do find a girlfriend that she would have slept with many ...
A. 25 July 2012: Agree 100% with Tisha-1. You don't even have a girlfriend and already you're figuring out ways to get back at her for something that has nothing to do with you. It's a little nuts.
If you are hoping that a girl you meet will be a virgin or inexp... (read in full...)
We agreed we would only watch porn together, but now I've found loads of porn sites on his computer and phone! How do I confront him about this?
Q. I have been in a few relationships where my boyfriends would watch porn. I had a very hard time with it at first because I felt that I wasn't good enough so they had to look elsewhere... I now have done more research and understand it more - so ...
A. 25 July 2012: This an increasingly common problem among couples nowadays. I have many, many links to articles on this issue on my profile that I think you will find helpful. You can get there by clicking on my username and they are all in the big blue box.
... (read in full...)
Good relationship or good sex?
Q. I always wanted the relationship, but is having better sex worth leaving? I love my bf with ALL my heart and we are both stable and mature enough to get married. but my friend wants to sleep with me, and unlike my low testosterone bf, this guy can ...
A. 25 July 2012: First off, you say you are stable and mature enough to get married, and yet you are considering dumping your boyfriend just because someone else wants to use you for sex. I have a hard time believing you really love your boyfriend if you are wanting ... (read in full...)
I had sex the day before ovulating, does that mean I could be pregnant?
Q. Hey. I'm new to this site. I need help. I know my body very well and I've done tests to see when I ovulate and it just so happens that I had sex a day before ovulating and that's the day you are most likely to fall pregnant? So, we did the deed and...
A. 24 July 2012: You should not be trying to force him into fatherhood. If he's not ready, he's not ready. It's unlikely he'd be able to be a good father then as well. If you want to be a mother, you either need to be patient or find a new partner.
It should h... (read in full...)
Sex is unfulfilling for me, and my boyfriend blames himself. What can I do?
Q. ok i have a problem! i lost my virginty two years ago! i've never had one good experience with sex! im always horny and want to have sex but its always unfulfilling i've tried different things and the only thing thats worked me for is playing with ...
A. 24 July 2012: You sound normal. Vaginas are not inside-out penises, they have VERY few nerve endings. This should be kind of a duh, if you poke the inside of your vagina, do you feel much besides pressure? How about if you poke your clitoris?
Only around a... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's vagina is too small, and I am wondering if whether this is physical or psychological and if there are any other positions or techniques that may allow me to penetrate her more fully without hurting her.
Q. I know this sounds like a wonderful problem to have, but it isn't. My girlfriend's vagina is a bit tight, but the bigger problem is that it is too shallow to accommodate me. I have a very average-sized penis in every way, so I know it is not me. ...
A. 24 July 2012: I'm seconding her checking out whether she has vaginismus. That's where here vaginal muscles contract/spasm painfully if she tries to insert certain things. Since the only real symptom in pain, her gyno wouldn't know about it if she didn't say ... (read in full...)
I need some advice on sex toys.
Q. dear cupid, my guy and i have a great sex life; neither one of us have ever had veryy many complaints about it at all. but here lately, i've been wanting to surprise him by spicing things up a little bit. one of the main ways in which i was thin...
A. 24 July 2012: Most sex toys specifically for men are either for masturbation or for anal stimulation. I wouldn't recommend you surprise him with a toy for anal stimulation, some guys are a bit freaked out by it. It's definitely the kind of thing you should ... (read in full...)
I noticed a small lump at the entrance to my vagina, and it hurts, I need some advice!
Q. I have sex with my boyfriend alot...at the beginning we were averaging around 5 times per day but now 8 months on we're not doing it as much, we have days where we dont do it at all but on average its still atleast twice a day. Well the past ...
A. 24 July 2012: If you have a mysterious painful or even not painful lump you need to go get that checked out by a doctor. We cannot possibly diagnose something over the internet! Please go to a doctor to be sure.... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt me so much?
Q. I was reading a post about a girl that wants to lose her virginity and she got a few answers saying sex shouldnt hurt. Sex often hurts me, practically every time. Im engaged, have children both vaginal births, and am in my early 20s. I have been ...
A. 23 July 2012: Have you ever looked into a condition called vaginismus? It essentially causes involuntary muscle spasms when you try to penetrate the vagina with anything, for some people it can be as small as a tampon, some it has to be larger to trigger it. It's ... (read in full...)
Should we just let the china plate go?
Q. This probably is not the most appropriate place to ask this, but: My wife took a plate of cookies to some new neighbors. They weren't home, so she left a note. They haven't returned the plate, and it's been a week or two. To make matters worse th...
A. 23 July 2012: Just do exactly as Aunty BimBim says. If they've just moved they're likely very busy, so just knock and ask for it back and say you hoped they enjoyed them.... (read in full...)
When I touch myself I don't get any pleasure...is there something wrong with me?
Q. I always hear about "amazing pleasure" when it comes to clitoral stimulation but when I touch myself I feel it but i don't get any pleasure. The stimulation is actually uncomfortable for me and I don't understand. My significant other said there ...
A. 23 July 2012: No nothing is wrong. You just need to figure out how you like to be touched still. Some women don't like to actually touch the clitoris at all, they need more indirect stimulation because it's too sensitive. Not everyone enjoys just rubbing it with ... (read in full...)
Everyone says that long-distance dating is hard... but is it worth it to give it a try?
Q. I recently met this guy, and he's really great; he's good looking, caring, sweet to me and everything I could ask for. The only problem is, he lives 15 hours away, and the only way we can talk is through texting and skype. He said he's really ...
A. 22 July 2012: I don't think at your age it's worth it. Not only are you young and quite far from each other, but you aren't even dating yet. If you two are still single next summer, then give it a shot. But you're young, you shouldn't be tied down by something so ... (read in full...)
Does everyone fantasize during sex
Q. I have a question about masturbation and fantasies. I'm 33 and have been with my bf for a year. Last night we were having sex and after it was over we were lying in bed and the subject of masturbation came up. I made the mistake of asking what he ...
A. 22 July 2012: It's unusual. Most people, male and female fantasize while they masturbate, but there is a subset who focus on sensations and completely separate masturbation from anything sexual. It's not weird, not common, but not weird. Though you are ... (read in full...)
Should I continue masturbating? is it normal for a thirteen year old like me?
Q. Hi I am thirteen and I masturbate 5 or more times a week. I've been masturbating for nearly a year now but every time i do it makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. What do I do? Is what I am doing normal? Please I don't know what to do I ...
A. 22 July 2012: There is nothing wrong with masturbating regularly. Around 85% of guys your age masturbate regularly, you are not abnormal at all, totally normal. It's only a problem if it interferes with your life.... (read in full...)
I got dumped for going to a strip club!
Q. Ok I have a girl friend and she broke up with me because I went to a strip club with my friends on a company trip is she over reacting we been dating for 9 months...
A. 22 July 2012: I'd dump my boyfriend in a second for visiting a strip club. It's exploitative to the women and it's disrespectful to your girlfriend. If you were at a beach with your girlfriend would you go drool over the other women in bikinis right in front of ... (read in full...)
He has orgasms regularly and I have almost none... any tips? I'm feeling very jealous!
Q. My current sex life is great apart from one fact - my boyfriend gets a lot more pleasure than i do. I get a lot of pleasure from sex and foreplay but almost never climax from anything, and when i do, it takes a looong time. We have already tried the ...
A. 22 July 2012: "The flip side of this is those women who CAN orgasm easily from G spot stimulation and/or penetration - and they do exist - can end up feeling like freaks because of their 'ability', because the only voice we ever hear is that of the "clitoris is ... (read in full...)
Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?
Q. My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...
A. 21 July 2012: It's possible to notice others and still find your partner the most attractive. My boyfriend is as hyper-monogamous as it gets, he doesn't even masturbate unless we're apart for 4-5+ days and believes that thinking of others while doing so is highly ... (read in full...)
Our date nights are boring, and not what I like to do!
Q. Im having some issues with our date nights. My bf and i live together and have two children. When we have a date night, whether we have a bby sitter or not we tend to do the same things. We either go out to a movie go out to dinner rent a red box ...
A. 21 July 2012: My boyfriend and I go on dates almost every day after work, where he plans these elaborate walking adventures through our city and essentially gives me a guided tour that he learned from Wikipedia or somewhere. It's spectacular fun and never gets ... (read in full...)
What are your views on strippers?
Q. Whats your view on strippers?? My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm. I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over...
A. 21 July 2012: "Be interested in how many of the female aunts are here don't plan on going to see that film Magic Mike which is all about male strippers" I'm against objectification, period. A friend of mine claiming to be a feminist was going to in her words ... (read in full...)
He has orgasms regularly and I have almost none... any tips? I'm feeling very jealous!
Q. My current sex life is great apart from one fact - my boyfriend gets a lot more pleasure than i do. I get a lot of pleasure from sex and foreplay but almost never climax from anything, and when i do, it takes a looong time. We have already tried the ...
A. 21 July 2012: What Tisha-1 said x a million. I was in the same boat as you, my boyfriend was getting off every time and even if I worked VERY hard and even if he performed oral, used his fingers and did everything we could think of, it still took either such a ... (read in full...)
Unprotected oral sex risky?
Q. Divorced, and having casual sex for first time in life, use condoms. Realistically, what are the chances of getting a disease from giving a man unprotected oral sex? Not swallowing. I know that HIV is difficult to pass that way. And the two ...
A. 19 July 2012: Oral sex is still sex and yes, you can catch things that way. It's not as easy as with penetrative sex, but it's still possible. For instance if one of you has HPV it can lead to an increased risk of oral and throat cancers. If you have any cuts or ... (read in full...)
What are your views on strippers?
Q. Whats your view on strippers?? My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm. I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over...
A. 18 July 2012: I have a no strippers policy in my relationship, no exceptions even for bachelor parties. First I have issues with it for feminist reasons. But on top of that, I don't find it acceptable for a man in a relationship to be doing that kind of thing. ... (read in full...)
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