| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Date is tomorrow but she has a cold. Options? Suggestions? Help!
Q. Heres the situation. I met this girl in class and finally on the last day of the semester got her number. we only talked once in person but w/e i got it. Immediately sparks flew and we texted everyday literally for hours before our first date. Ou...
A. 19 May 2012: Why not do something like say, I'm really sorry you're feeling sick, what if instead of going out I bring you some soup and tea and bring over some movies to watch? You two can watch movies while she drinks the soup, then you can take off. Or you ... (read in full...)
If a waitress is hot should I put my phone number on the bill?
Q. I'm starting to get back on the dating scene and i was wondering if it is rude or if it even works to write your number on the bill of a resteraunt if you find the waitress hott. Or is that an easy way to get prank phone calls?...
A. 19 May 2012: She probably won't call you if you don't talk first. You should strike up a good conversation with her at some point, and then you can leave your phone number in the bill AFTER you've clicked.
I once asked a guy out this way who was a waiter, ... (read in full...)
What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility!
Q. Help! What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility! I have tried everything He works part-time, Between 3 and 4 days a week. I work part-time as well, but over 5 days. I start housework as soon as I get ...
A. 18 May 2012: http://uic.edu/orgs/cwluherstory/CWLUArchive/polhousework.html... (read in full...)
I fear my vagina isnt good enough for my boyfriend
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have sexual relations. He isnt my first, and well I feel ashamed to have sex with him for that reason... We were watching this t.v show, with Wesley Snipes(black guy) and he was married to an Asian woman, they showed a scene ...
A. 18 May 2012: I agree 100% with YouWish. Do not let this guy erode your self-esteem over his own porn-based insecurities. He's watched/masturbated to so much porn he can only enjoy anal or oral sex because of the increased stimulation. There is nothing wrong with ... (read in full...)
My hormones are raging like a wildfire!
Q. My hormones are raging like a wildfire!!!I'm only 15 and why am i feeling this way..I'm so horny all the time and can't even stop from being that way. I feel like i need sex every freaking day. Does that make me a sex addict?...
A. 18 May 2012: Of course it doesn't make you a sex addict. You're a teenager, it's normal. Have you tried masturbating?... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead with the PhD? Or not?
Q. I'm currently in a massive state of indecision about my future and I was hoping for some advice. I'm 8 or so months into a postgraduate degree in chemistry, and the option to extend it to a three year PhD course came up a few months ago. At ...
A. 18 May 2012: Whether you get a PhD depends on what you want to do with your life. In any physical science you really do need a PhD for most jobs. Basically if you ever want to be the boss of anything/in charge of anything, you need a PhD. You will get the chance ... (read in full...)
Death in my husband's family will make them all drink and I don't want to be around it! What do I do?
Q. My husband has death in his family, and my heart goes out to the family but I really dont want to be around them cause all they do is drink, I mean really, if im in mourning I wouldnt be drinking and getting drunk, and he has the nerve to get mad at ...
A. 18 May 2012: Has his family behaved in a way that is inappropriate with you? Have they done anything while drunk that makes you uncomfortable other than the fact that they are drunk? If so, I think you have a legitimate reason to just say, "Honey, why don't you ... (read in full...)
Do women really hate porn?
Q. I have lot of porn dvds at home. My wife rarely watches it. My question is, do all women hate to watch porn or is it some?. If some women like porn what are the categories they like to watch. say, lesbian, taboo, straight, BDSM, oral.... ...
A. 17 May 2012: Around 60% of women don't want it in their relationship, around 25% of women consider it cheating, around 30% watch it at least once a month.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was ill on my birthday and I didnt get to see him, should I be mad at him for this?
Q. Do you think i should be mad at my boyfriend for this ?. He has been ill with flu for a few days, and it was my birthday yesterday, but he didn't meet up with me. I was supposed to go round to his house for a few hours. I wanted to go out somewhere ...
A. 17 May 2012: Being sick and having the flu are completely different things. You're being totally unreasonable and clingy. I understand it's your birthday, but he's sick with the flu! Have you ever had the flu? It can feel like being hit by a truck. Often a ... (read in full...)
Lump on my foot, what could this be?
Q. Hi I'm just wondering what this could be my feet were all normal until one day I got a sharp pain on the side or my pinky toe and since then I never took noticed but I have like a lump inside my skin which has nothing in it like a splinter or what ...
A. 17 May 2012: Even if we have an idea about it, there's no way we can KNOW. If you've noticed a mysterious painful lump, you should go to the doctor. It sounds like it just be a bunionette, but there's no way for us to know.... (read in full...)
How does a man feel when he's in love?
Q. I know this might sound weird but How does a man feel when he's in love or when he really loves a girl and how he feela he's willing to do ?!! I know it sounds stupid but me as a girl I know how girls feel about a guy when they really love him and ...
A. 16 May 2012: Of course not all men are cheaters. The numbers of men and women who cheat are actually pretty similar and getting more similar by the day. Some men are cheaters and some women are, some men are monogamous and some women are. Men and women aren't ... (read in full...)
How do I make my girlfriend more ready for sex?
Q. Okay, so I am in love with my girlfriend and plan to spend the rest of my life with her. I am third year in college and she is in college as well. However, this is a long distance relationship. She is still a virgin and I am not. We say I love you ...
A. 15 May 2012: I'm guessing it's harder for her to feel comfortable given the distance. Maybe lack of confidence, maybe many things, but in the end you can't make her ready. You sound like a great guy and it's lovely you're being patient with her.
In order to... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about this girl living with us? I have a trust issue!
Q. Hello all, I'm in a bit of a tough spot right now. You see, I live with my wonderful fiance, we love each other to pieces, and we live with another roommate who happens to be my good friend. Well, things are not working out with our roommate...
A. 15 May 2012: I wouldn't be OK with my fiancé living with someone who had a thing for him, personally. Of course it's true that he could be no longer attracted, that nothing will happen, etc... But it's going to cause you a lot of stress and that will in turn ... (read in full...)
How can I bring myself over the edge?
Q. During intercourse last night I began sweating all over and also had a hot flush. Afterwards my boyfriend said these might be a sign that my body could soon be ready to orgasm. If this is true are there any hints on how I could bring myself o...
A. 14 May 2012: It's REALLY unlikely intercourse is going to bring you to orgasm if you've never even had one. It's unlikely it will do it anyways. Being flushed/hot is just a sign that you are exerting yourself, not a sign that you are about to orgasm. You will ... (read in full...)
My friend says he dreamed he kissed me. What does that mean?
Q. I have been loving a guy for a few years now ( at least 2), he's one of my closest friends and he identifies as straight.. He flirts and stuff but he never says that he is even curious about guys. Well we was talking the other night on the phone, I ...
A. 14 May 2012: I wouldn't read too much into it. It's highly unlikely it means he likes you. I'm sure he just thought it was strange and mentioned it, not realizing it would be significant to you.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my husband stop watching porn?
Q. hi i just got marrried in feb of 2012 an i love my husband but i told many times to stop watching porn..i even cryed to him saying how much it hurts me ..i feel so derpressed now an he still dosent care..if its hurting me..an if not watching porn ...
A. 14 May 2012: http://stoppornculture.org/q-a/
http://www.healthysex.com/page/the-porn-trap
There are several links in my profile as well that you would probably find useful.
Telling women that there's nothing they can do about porn use and that they are co... (read in full...)
Would you date me?
Q. I am not the most picture perfect teenage girl in the world and I feel really insecure because of it. My stomach is not flat and I don't have a gap between my thighs like most girls these days and I don't have a bald weird looking 'area'. Although, ...
A. 13 May 2012: You have got to get your head out of the media's butt. Most women do not have a gap between their thighs. I'm a clothing size 2, and my thighs touch if my feet are together. I'm not sure what sort of sadist decided thigh gaps would be the gold ... (read in full...)
Erection when hugging/kissing my girlfriend
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now, and the last couple times we've taken the time to say goodbye on her front porch before I leave her house we've spend a lot of time hugging and kissing goodbye and even just talking ...
A. 13 May 2012: It's totally normal to happen just when you're hugging her, and especially kissing her. I'm sure she knows it's normal and I'm sure she's flattered. Don't worry about it at all.... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my boyfriend not to give up on oral sex?
Q. Hi, again! This time I have a more personal question- and I appreciated the answers I got last time, so I figured I'd open up a little bit more and ask for a little help with intimacy. My boyfriend and I both really love oral sex. In fact, i...
A. 12 May 2012: I think part of the issue might be that it is tiring to go from zero to 60 with just oral. It might be helpful to you to have him use his fingers to get you around 3/4 of the way there, and then ask him to use oral to get you the rest of the way. It ... (read in full...)
Why do men marry women that aren't anything like what they look at in porn?
Q. Well i have been confused about this for years. My husband dose this and other guys do this and i believe other girls do this. I have put on some weight through the years after i have had my kids and even before then i wasn't skinny but i was mu...
A. 12 May 2012: I have links to several posts about this on my profile page that might help you out.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a SIGNIFICANTLY lower sex-drive than me
Q. I've been dating this woman for 3 years, and I love everything about her very much. All except one thing, she has an extremely low sex-drive. Where I would be content with 1-2 times a week at LEAST, we're currently having sex every 6-7 weeks, and ...
A. 12 May 2012: Sounds like the problem is at least partially that she isn't enjoying sex. If sex isn't fun, she's not going to want it. Is she having regular orgasms easily? Meaning not just after an hour of work where you both just want to get it over with. It's ... (read in full...)
How do I get my Bf to respect my opinions? And stop him telling unfunny jokes?
Q. Hi, thanks for taking your time to read this! So, I've been with my current boyfriend for a little over seven months now, and overall; he makes me very happy. We click very well with each other and we have a lot of similar interests. Th...
A. 12 May 2012: Look I understand you want to seem all cool and laid back, but a guy who makes sexist jokes and calls women bitches is a sexist, end of story. He's telling you to lighten up because you're calling him out on his sexism and he doesn't like having ... (read in full...)
Why did this girl say she would never go out with me? Is it because I'm ugly?
Q. Today at lunch I was hanging out with my two friends, their girlfriends, and their girlfriend's friends. Well my friend Alex asked this girl something that I overheard, it was either "Would you go out with josh?" or "would you **** josh?" and she ...
A. 11 May 2012: like dmartin said, because you are a depressed looking guy with low self-esteem. When you have that kind of attitude, it is impossible to hide. Everyone can see it and it's very unattractive. It's much easier to just go "Oh I must be ugly." than it ... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. Rather than continuously wishing and hoping to at least be average, even with working out, eating healthy, makeup and hair straightening, I want to finally just accept that I am ugly. The hope and trying keeps me from accepting it, because in t...
A. 11 May 2012: I can probably count on one hand the number of people I've met who are actually ugly. There are very few people in this world who are actually ugly. Your problem isn't that you're ugly, but that you have low self-esteem. One of the few people I've ... (read in full...)
My man's just not doing it for me, help?
Q. hey guys, i'm seeing this guy and we've gotten to the point where we're having sex now. but the problem is that he's not very big so when we're doing it, he's the only one going away satisfied. is there something we could do to make it more ...
A. 11 May 2012: The problem is almost certainly that most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Only about 25% can. If you want to make sex more enjoyable, work on how he can stimulate you in other ways, like oral sex or with his fingers. You can also add in ... (read in full...)
Anyone out there in a FWB relationship that works?
Q. Dear aunts, I have started a fbw relationship with my ex. We meet up every three weeks or so and spend two days together. We have gone on two hotel mini breaks and are planning another. Things have been really good. The pressure of being in a rel...
A. 10 May 2012: The only one I had that worked was one where we both knew we'd hate dating each other but had great chemistry. We also left penetrative sex totally off the table. Mostly we were make-out buddies. Worked out perfectly until he moved away. I can ... (read in full...)
What kind of porn do straight girls watch?
Q. What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...
A. 10 May 2012: "I know very well about all the dangers of porn as well as the degraqding manner it shows women. However, I neither care nor wish to care because the primary purpose of porn, is for my personal pleasure."
You want women to answer a question... (read in full...)
My husband has gone from an amazing lover to not even wanting me
Q. Please help me! My husband has gone from an amazing lover to not even wanting me. He's even gone as far as going into the other room to watch porn instead of waking me up for sex at night, which I'm up for. It's killing me because he used to love ...
A. 9 May 2012: He sounds like he has an addiction. This has nothing to do with you or whether he loves you or finds you attractive, so don't take this as a reflection on you. You should visit this website for more info:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
I know I am the only woman he is seeing but I cant stand his online flirting! What should I do?
Q. What do I do been with this guy for 16 months friends with benefits, I have feelings for him but not in love with him, I cannot get him to show affection, he wants a relationship wants me to act as a normal friend should and wants no committal, he ...
A. 9 May 2012: Friends with benefits almost never turns into anything other than headache at the least and heartbreak at the most. You want more, fidelity, affection. To be blunt about this, he wants a warm person to masturbate into. He will never do a real "turn ... (read in full...)
What makes a man want a FWB and not a relationship?
Q. Hi everyone just a quick question all the guys I meet only want a fwb, what makes a man want a fwb with you but not actually a proper relationship? thank you ...
A. 9 May 2012: Sexual gratification and an ego boost without having to do anything in return. What could be bad? He can have his cake and eat it too.
Not all guys are like that though, some/many guys like the emotional aspect of a relationship just as much as ... (read in full...)
My friends and family always seem to call me when I'm with my boyfriend! Is it rude to tell them not to call me when I'm away with him this weekend?
Q. It seems like everytime I hangout with my boyfriend my friends and family all seem to call and text me. Sometimes it is just a weird coincidence. My one friend likes to call me a lot. I plan on staying with my boyfriend this weekend. My question is, ...
A. 9 May 2012: Of course it's fair. You are going on a romantic holiday, your friend can live without you for a weekend. Your boyfriend deserves your undivided attention. You don't have to tell them not to contact you even if you feel uncomfortable doing so, you ... (read in full...)
If they're bigger are they more sensitive?
Q. Hello, I have a quick question. You know the inner lips of a woman-- the labia minora? You know how some women have longer ones and stuff? I wanted to know, does that increase feeling in them? Like would they be more sensitive than a person wit...
A. 9 May 2012: No. You have roughly the same number of nerve endings no matter what the size is.... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about what the wife should pay for after marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, I wanted your opinion on after a couple is married what is the wife, should the wife pay for? My Hubby to be wants me to pay the mortgage and he would pay for everything else ie taxes,food, insurance,pet care, car care,everything....
A. 8 May 2012: I personally think the easiest fairest thing is to figure out the percentage you make relative to each other, set up a joint bank account, and each put in the relative amount. For instance if one person makes 80% of what the other makes, then that ... (read in full...)
How can I wax myself at home? I don't want to go to a professional?
Q. Hi everyone.i want to wax my private area at home.it has become darken due to hair removal cream.i have also used raizer but it does not work for long.i have had one try but I can,t remove around vegina lips.plz don,t say to go to profesnal.. It is ...
A. 7 May 2012: I don't think you should try to go totally hairless at home. Sugaring does hurt less, but I don't think it will work as well on your bikini line. Look on the Amazon US website for reviews of bikini specific products, then see if you can get the same ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "he's the boss of me, not me the boss of him!"
Q. Hello, I have a boyfriend we have been together for 2 and a half years hes and have recently hit some problems and we broke up for about a month, but after some talking we got back together. But yesterday he got annoyed at me for something ...
A. 7 May 2012: What you should do depends on whether you believe women should be subordinate to men or whether they should be equal. If you're OK being with a man who believes men should control women and have authority over them, then by all means stay. ... (read in full...)
I don't think he's attractive but I accepted a date and now I feel forced to go
Q. please don't read this and assume i'm a horrible person, but I met this guy not long ago and he's asked me out on a date. The things is, when I was out the other day he was there to and you think I would be happy to see him, or get that feeling ...
A. 6 May 2012: Just go. It's one date. You're not forced to give him another date and you might wind up enjoying yourself. You don't need to say anything at the end of the date about another, you can give yourself a little time to come up with something to say. ... (read in full...)
Do other people masturbate weekly? Use lubricant?
Q. im only thirteen but i masturbate up to 14 times a week usualy to the point of an orgasam and i often use lubricant to help prevent friction. I would like to know how much other people masturbate weekly, dose it end in an orgasam every time, do you ...
A. 6 May 2012: Check out this page:
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#masturbation
To summarize, according to this study only 60% of men masturbate at least once a month, but 80% do it rarely. The numbers for women are more variable based on age... (read in full...)
Do men find women attractive if they're breasts aren't even?
Q. Just a quick question... Do you find a woman attractive even if they have asymmetrical breasts? I know many womens breasts are different but mine are by about half a cup size to about a cup size when I am on the pill or on my period. I am think...
A. 6 May 2012: Most women have different cup sizes by between 1/2 a full cup. That is what a normal variance is. Mine are different by about 1/2 a cup size and my boyfriend hasn't even noticed. Even when I pointed it out to him. Unless they're off by more than a ... (read in full...)
If a man is in a committed relationship, why would he take a ladies number?
Q. If a man is in a long-term committed relationship, and goes out to a bar with his friends, if he chats with a lady and she gives him her phone number, shouldn't he say "no thanks, I have a girlfriend" instead of putting the number in his pocket? ...
A. 6 May 2012: It's a little suspicious, especially if he's done something else to break your trust. Did he tell you it happened or did he try to hide it? He may have been flattered and just was enjoying the treatment too much to say no, which isn't great but also ... (read in full...)
My LDR g/f is an actress and has to kiss other men. I feel uneasy!
Q. Hello, actually I am in a long distance relationship since last 10 months and these months have been extremely good. As in, we enjoy each others company and love to talk to each other all day and spend time together. But the thing is that since last ...
A. 6 May 2012: I've done acting before and have had to do kisses on stage and I promise it is NOT romantic at all. It's awkward and me and the actor always would have a laugh about it afterwards. Everyone is staring at you, there are bright hot lights on you, ... (read in full...)
I reconnected, got a little bit stalky, he disconnected
Q. I use to see a guy in highschool that contacted me on facebook he was excited and I was to get in contact again he is still attractive. We talked for a bit on chat and exchanged numbers so he can text or call me. Things went a bit awry and I think I ...
A. 6 May 2012: No. If you've pushed him to the point of blocking you from contact, regardless of why, there's nothing you can do except to leave him alone. Sorry.... (read in full...)
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