A
male
age
36-40,
*razydirtyred
writes:I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking about her time of the month and how she gets really turned on during that time. I still haven't touched her during that time, it just seemed wrong. Lately I've been noticing how turned on I get when she's in her lady days. I actually want to have sex with her unprotected while she's in her lady days, not even sure if that's ok. Here's the thing (finally), she told me that she can't get pregnant while she's on her.. You know.. Not sure if this true because the idea sounds amazing and I can't wait until her next time of the month, but I want some advice first. Is this a bad idea, what should or what can I or cannot do?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 I have done a lot of research on the pull out method because I use a heavily modified hybrid of pulling out and condoms with my own partner. We've been using this method for the past 3.5 years without a single scare so either one of us is infertile or we have done a good job of figuring out what's risky and what isn't.
1) Like Chigirl said, do not let yourself get extremely close, you must stop yourself just when you feel somewhat close. Do not let yourself get to the edge. It's very possible to stop yourself right before orgasm and still have a leak.
2) Pee before sex just to be double sure there's no sperm in your urethra.
3) In reference to number one, do not get close and then pull out as you're finishing. You either have to get out and put on a condom and then finish that way, or pull out before you're extremely close and finish with hands or mouth. Either way, it's not safe to use the sexual momentum from sex to finish completely. If you're close enough for that, you're letting yourself get too close.
4) Do not fall into the trap of thinking period time is safer time, treat it like all other times.
A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (17 June 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStopped by to say thank you again and to post a little update. We've been using condoms to have sex, and we did try it while she was on her period. It did feel a little sloppy with a condom so I decided to try it without. I must say, it was great, it may be a little dumb to use the pull out method, but it did the trick for me, I know what I'm risking, but I've decided to take the risk myself :) I just want to say that it was an overall great experience, and she enjoyed it as much as I did. She was a little embarrassed about the blood, but I assured her that I felt comfortable with it :) Thank you all again.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 About ejaculation and precum and all that. Ejaculation is often linked to the orgasm. But a man can ejaculate without there being an orgasm. I've experienced this in real life, so I know for a fact it can happen. The man can then feel like he is getting close, but thinks he's stopped himself... where in reality he hasn't. There can still be a second, and stronger, ejaculation afterwards, connected with an orgasm. But having an orgasm doesn't mean you haven't already ejaculated...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): Good to hear that protection is being used! You can enjoy it more now without the anxiety of an accident (=child). You can definitely have sex during your girlfriend's period and in my experience the horniest time of that time of the month is just beforehand. During the first 2 days of her period (or thereabouts, depending on how heavy/ long her periods are) I doubt that she will actually feel that horny. But you can see how it goes together. Keep safe and have fun!
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A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (31 May 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDang you guys are amazing, I've put a lot of thought into everything now so thank you so much. We've started using condoms a lot more than before, really trying not to risk that accident. Will comment more later, again, thank you.
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A
female
reader, SOShelp  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 Ok unprotected sex=risk of pregnancy. Accidents happen all the timeso don't let a pregnancy be one of these accidents. I understand that you trust each other and that is really good for your relationship but one of you should go onto some form of birth control. Just in case.
Also hormone levels differentiate during the cycle. If she's getting turned on during her 'lady days' try non-penetrative techniques. This could help your relationship.
It's always an iffy subject for guys (and understandably so) but use your common sense. Remember that precum can contain sperm so just watch out. And thumbs up for staying out of her and controlling your manly urges!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): although pregnancy is unlikely at that time of the month it is not impossible, so you should use some form of protection. As for having sex during that time, well its not wrong but without going into too much detail, from the point of view of a woman it is something i have done once and i wont do it again it was really uneasant for both of us
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 May 2012):
You can't buy them. I mean you do have to pay for them obviously, but she needs to talk to a doctor. She can either make an appointment with her primary care physician or go to a women's clinic (like planned parenthood). If you have insurance generally the cost is pretty low. Planned Parenthood can give them out inexpensively if you don't have insurance too.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (28 May 2012):
Well, she needs to go to her doctors first and get a prescription. This is because she needs test first to see that she can actually take birth control pills. If there is a medical history that prevents it, she can't. High blood pressure or other conditions can mean she can't, or shouldn't, use birth control pills. But this usually goes perfectly fine. Then she goes to the pharmacy and buys her pills.
You can get pills in all sorts of price-ranges, and for different sorts of "extra"-effects as well. Many birth control pills help prevent acne or pimples. Many pills are also great to prevent menstruation pains. Doctors prescribe birth control pills to help in severe cases of acne for young teenagers, even though they are not sexually active, and they do help in some cases.
Birth control pills are different slightly when some pills have higher levels of estrogen than others. Your girlfriend needs to find a pill that fits her body. Some pills can make her sick, or nauceous, or give her acne rather than reduce it. If so, she needs to change the type of birth control she is on to find one with levels that fit her body better. The levels of estrogen does not impact the pills efficiency. They are all equally efficient in preventing pregnancy.
Birth control pills are safer than condoms, aside from condoms being the only form of contraception that protects you from STD's.
Better yet: talk to your DOCTOR about different forms of birth control and get informed. There are more options out there than just the birth control pill.
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A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (28 May 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo tell you the truth I know nothing about birth control pills, and I don't think she does either. I didn't know you can actually buy them, maybe that's the reason..
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (28 May 2012):
Birth control pills are not expensive. Is there a specific reason for why you and her haven't started using them?
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A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (28 May 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgain thanks for the help, I think you guys are awesome. I'm also very happy that most answers are coming from females since most men, like me, think with a head at a time and it isn't always the right one. I feel a lot better with all the advice I've been receiving. I have a question though, one of the aunts commented this, please explain it to me:
-You are playing with fire here and it's not worth it for a few seconds of pleasure. Unless you only have sex once a day and abstain from masturbation, it's not worth messing around with precum either.
I actually do abstain from masturbation, I haven't touched myself in about two months. Oh and I guess I never mentioned that we sometimes use protection, especially when I am too excited.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (28 May 2012):
Definitely talk to her about the possibility of you and her becoming parents, if you want to continue having unprotected sex. I have this conversation with all my boyfriends even though I DO NOT have unprotected sex. You can still get pregnant if the contraception is used the wrong way. In any case, I always inform them of how I feel about abortion, and that that's not an option for me. You should have this talk with your girlfriend as well. You don't have to start actively trying to make a baby just because you had the talk, or just because you might like the idea. But you should talk about what will happen IF she gets pregnant, and have a basic idea of what you are going to do then.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 That, in theory. In practice, you can have all of a sudden a shorter cycle of, say, 19- 20 days after years or regular cycles, which will push back your ovulation to day 4-6 since the neginning of menstruation. Nobody is going to come and warn you, hey guys, there has been a slight change of plans , this month we are having a shorter cycle. It is also possible to have two ovulations during the same cycle. (Yes, OP, you ,and your GF ,do need to educate yourself more thoroughly ).
All this does not happen frequently, true, but ONCE is enough to get her pregnant. If you want to avoid conceiving, you need to be protected each and every day of the cycle.
If you do want to conceive, instead, as it sounds from your update, well... why even bother asking how to avoid it , then ?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 May 2012):
That is called the rhythm method. For most people it is barely more effective than just hoping you won't get pregnant. Most women are not regular enough for that. Women generally don't ovulate at the same time every month. There are thermometers/computers like ladycomp you can buy that are somewhat more effective.
You are playing with fire here and it's not worth it for a few seconds of pleasure. Unless you only have sex once a day and abstain from masturbation, it's not worth messing around with precum either.
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A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (28 May 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was reading something and I found this (I'll post it the bottom), is this of any help?
Most women have normal 28- to 32-day cycles, and if someone with this cycle has an average two- to eight-day period, she will not get pregnant during her period.
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A
male
reader, crazydirtyred +, writes (28 May 2012):
crazydirtyred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSome of the responses are a little harsh, but they're all definitely helpful answers. I know the pull-out method isn't a secure thing, but I can say I've explored myself enough to know when I have pre-cum, although there's still a possibility that I can be wrong. I will take all the advice I can from your answers and I will consider talking to her about birth control, sounds like a good option. Thank you everyone for your answers, I will read a little (I mean a lot) about the subject and get myself educated. And to throw this in, the idea of being a parent sounds a little pleasant, but of course I need to know how she feels about it. Again, thank you all.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (27 May 2012):
Having unprotected sex is a bad idea, and how much you trust each other is completely irrelevant. But, I am going to hope that this was just badly written, and what you actually mean is that you ARE protected, by birth control pills, or other forms of contraception other than a condom.
Then again, your post does sound like you're just having plain old unprotected sex that tends to lead to ... pregnancy. Pull-out-method is NOT a method. Wear a glove or have her take some pills. Then make all the lovin' you want.
Yes, she can get pregnant during her lady-days. It's not the best time to conceive, but it can happen. She most definitely will conceive if you and her keep having unprotected sex though, granted that she and you both are fertile. I give you a year, top.
As for the techinicalities of having sex when she's on her period: there will be blood, so the cleanest thing is for you to wear a condom when you do it. But then again, if you don't care you're all good.
USE PROTECTION UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE A DADDY. I can already hear the baby cries...
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (27 May 2012):
 If you trust each other and are having unprotected sex, then why haven't you discussed her using the contraceptive pill? That way you can ejaculate wherever you like, whenever you like! Or you could of course wear a condom and come inside her that way, but get the feeling that you're not considering that as an option (you should).
I don't want to sound mean but you both sound a little ignorant about sex and birth control. The withdrawal method isn't failsafe, and neither is coming inside her when she's on her period.
On a separate note, there's nothing wrong with having sex when she's on her period but you might well find it preferable to wear a condom. It can get messy.
Good luck and be careful.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Once is all it takes and NO you are NOT safe during her period.
Why risk a pregnancy just so you can go "bare"? Seriously?
Educate yourself.
And IF it's so important to you to have unprotected sex, maybe she needs to consider birth-control?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 May 2012):
Yes she can absolutely get pregnant during her period. It's unlikely, but still possible.
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A
female
reader, Crazy Fox  +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Hey there,
I completely agree with Anonymous 123! Nicely worded and straight to the point. My mum got pregnant when she was on her period. She was shocked so was my dad :)But I am glad it happened, otherwise I'd not be in this beautiful world.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012): although pregnancy is unlikely at that time of the month it is not impossible, so you should use some form of protection. As for having sex during that time, well its not wrong but without going into too much detail, from the point of view of a woman it is something i have done once and i wont do it again it was really uneasant for both of us
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (27 May 2012):
 There's a term that you and your girlfriend could be attached with very soon. That term is "parents".
A woman can get pregnant ANY day of the month, even while she is on her period. If you dont know that yet, you're not mature enough to be having sex. Get your basics right. Also, FYI, you dont even need to cum inside her, your pre-cum is enough too, to get her pregnant.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012): Although it is unlikely she will become pregnant, it is still possible. It's good you two trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, but the bottom line no matter what time of the month it is, if you arent ready for children yet, try some form of birth control. Even if you pull out, every time you are still risking it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMacassar +, writes (27 May 2012):
 One can become pregnant at any time, yes, even whilst she is on her period. Do not risk this by not using protection.
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