A
male
age
41-50,
*ockspider
writes:My girlfriend wants to settle down and get married, but I’m just not ready yet! I don’t even know if I want to be with her. I’m 28 and she is 29We been together for 5 years, she it Italian and I’m from Holland, the last 2 years we out relationship has cone down the drain. Sex is boarding and we both said it, we never go out together and when we do we always fight. We can’t even watch the same shows on TV, it like we have nothing in common. When we started to date I was 22 and in the army, I cheated on her a few time which I’m not proud about, but I didn’t think we will last this long! My parent doesn’t like her and they want me to marry someone with the same back ground as me. (Some one from my village) We stayed in Holland for a year but she didn’t liked it so we moved back to England. I want my kids grow up in Holland and speak Dutch and she want them to learn Italian and live in England.She is 29 this year and I don’t want to keep her to think that I want to marry her and drag this relationship out even more. The problem is when I think about leaving her a feel bad, sick and sad. Am I being selfish in not breaking up with her? What if I never find a girl who loves me as much as her? I just don’t know what the right thing is to do, I haven’t even been a good boyfriend to her. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 January 2009):
 I think you have said it yourself, that you dont want to drag the relationship on any further. If you really feel like you have nothing left in common and that you want different things in life then you have to do the decent thing and end the relationship.
If you are 100% certain that it is the right thing to end it then do it instead of thinking about it. OIt is not fair on your girlfriend to be strung along by a man that has so many doubts. If you want to work it out then sit down with her and have a last chance talk sort of thing, where if you cant agree on how to move your relationship forwards then you have to call it a day. Make sure you are certain though and you feel like you have tried your best to work things out.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): sit down and talk with her allow her to know how your feeling holding out breaking up or fixing something never gets the job done and causes more damage in the end. dont be harsh just tell her how you really feel if she really loves you she'll understand.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): It sounds like you know what to do but need a kick in the butt. In my opinion, dragging it out is a waste for both of you.
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