A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have argued for 2 days straight, i have came off my anti depressants because of him, i drank alot last night and dont remember much, i woke up this morning my leg covered in blood. i had tried to carve something in me leg, i dont remember doing this, do i need help? thats not even my issue. i think he is cheating, i have no hard evidence other then he is so stubborn at the moment, he refuses to give up time alone with his female friend, ill not mention her name, but its not like they can be best buds, they havent known eachother THAT long, few months, and she fancies him and when they r alone they always go to a pub, im not being irrational, but she gets very flirty when drunk, and ive seen the way he looks at her, i have spoke to him about how i feel, but he says im just trying to controle him, when im really not, i just dont want a years worth of relationship going down the drain for a tart.please help.
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Hi Hunny
One thing I forgot and this may sound daft but its not, When you have been through what you are going through now only you yourself can understand what it feels like and the only way to describe it is like a pressure cooker. You bubble away until all hell lets loose and you reach for that something sharp!!!!!!!ICE! Make sure you have ice in the fridge freezer at all times go for the ice you can use this to get your frustration out but it wont harm you....But hunny you do need to see someone and the sooner the better, Go to your doctor so he/she can refer you and you can sort these problems out one day at a time..I really do understand with love MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): Higreat advice from all the aunts, you must get your leg checked or infection could happen.Please remember you can NEVER CHANGE others, but you can change the way you feel.....even if it means LEAVING your boyfreind. If your feelings are going UNHEARD self harm will not MAKE HIM LISTEN or anyone else. BELIEVE ME!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 January 2009):
 All that advice below is great advice but I can imagine as a 16-17 year old you probably wont want to go to your doctor as this is something you can only do when your ready to get help.
As long as you didnt cut too deep into your leg and it doesnt need stitches then you dont have to go to the doctor if you dont want to, just make sure you keep it clean and dressed at home (plasters, bandages etc). If it is deep though you must get it seen too, it could get infected and make everything worse.
I have self harmed for nearly 11 years now (not something to be proud of!) and I am seeing a therapist who is helping me sort out why I'm doing it. But with me it first started when I had a terrible relationship with my first boyfriend who would drive me to hurting myself. The only way for you to not self harm again is to get out of the relationship. He is not good for you if he makes you feel like that....get out now before it gets worse.
My mistake was to stay too long with that boyfriend, thinking things would get better, he would go back to how he was when we first me etc but it never did. It got worse and worse until my mum had to intervene and take my phone away and lock me in the house (I was only 16!). He was a so bad for me (even though he is a great person and is very happy with his current girlfriend) - we brought out the worse in each other.
But that experience with him has scarred me for life, I still self harm years later and that all started when I was with him and it has become my way of coping when things get hard for me.
If you suspect he is cheating then it sounds like you dont trust him. And if he isnt listening to your requests for him not too spend so much time with this girl then he clearly doesnt value you and your relationship as much as you do. I know it will seem like a waste if you end the relationship but you need to put yourself first. If you dont trust him around this girl and he wont respect your wishes then it seems like your relationship will only get worse.
Do whats best for you and get yourself better, no man is worth hurting yourself over and you need to be strong and leave him for your own good. A therapist might be a big help for you, if you are depressed and self harming then they might be able to work through both issues with you. Then it will speed up how quickly you can come off your anti-depressents which means that you will no longer be reliant on a pill to control your mood. Talking really does work, its hard at first but worth it I promise.
Take care and good luck!
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (13 January 2009):
Hi hunny
Everything that gina has said is good sound advise.
You need to get you sorted first, PLEASE GET HELP! If you are thinking in a negative way about yourself and taking all these problems out on you its not going to help at all sweetheart..I no you are feeling out of control at this moment so this is why you need to sort your medication out and see a doctor confide in someone and get yourself healthy and able to think straight again.
I no its hard but its the best way forward for you, When you have got yourself in a better place you can then think more clearly. You may have put a lot into this relationship but to me at this moment it seems to be doing you no good at all and hun you wont see this until you feel better within...YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON HERE! TAKE CARE OF YOU ALWAYS! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU THINK...TRUST ME! I've been there...If you need a chat message me I will be only to happy to help LOOK AFTER YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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