A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was with this really nice guy for a few months then he dumped me, after which i found it hard to cope with as he got a new girlfriend a week after, even though he asked me to wait until he was ready. he even told me he loved me. we stayed friends but it hasnt be easy, we fight all the time.... after a few months he came to me asking for sex even though he was still with his girlfriend, i told him i would think about it but somehow it was forgotten, then he triedagain and i ask why would you do that to your girlfriend and he said he wouldnt and that he was messing around... a few weeks on i found out they had both cheated on each other, one night after i found out he came on webcam on msn and showed me him about to cut him self, to show his gf he loved her, i somehow convinced him to stop, but im scared of him doing it again and why did he bring me into it, is he punishing me for some reason????? help.
View related questions:
emotional blackmail, msn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 December 2008):
 It sounds like he has a lot of issues here, way beyond anything to do with you/your relationship. I had an boyfriend who did similar things when we were together, he would try and commit suicide but before he did he would send me long text messages saying sorry but he has to leave, he loves me too much etc. I was 15 at the time and I was very scared, obviously I didnt know why he was doing it but I felt I had to help him, try and talk him out of it etc.
In the end, that was the worse thing I could have done. He was doing it so that I would feel guilty and then never leave him, he never actually took anything serious enough to kill himself.
The best thing for you to do is cut off all contact with him and to stay out of his life, he needs to sort his issues out on his own. He really should see a therapist but if he is still in a relationship with the other girl then I imagine it will only get worse before it gets better. You cant help him with this, he has to realise in his own time that he needs help and that he needs to get out of that relationship as it is clearly a destructive relationship.
He's not punishing you, and only he will know why he brought you into it but for your own good you should stay away. As a result of my boyfriend who would try and kill himself, I ended up with some serious issues of my own and I self harm, something which I am having to deal with still today. Please for your own good stay away from him, he will only try and drag you down with him.
I know it will be hard because you care for him but what he needs is to be on his own and sort his issues out, you cant do that for him.
Good luck and dont make the same mistakes I did!
|
