A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a roller coaster relationship for the past 4 years. I love my boyfriend but am skeptical about how he is feeling about me sometimes. He does things as if he cares about me but I still question it. He is a homey person and is not sociable at all, he doesn't even have friends who is would go out with. However, I always try to find things for us to do rather than the routine of by take out sit in front of the SAT and then sleep. Am a person who is very much sociable and occasionally go out. We broke up many times and it was mostly my fault and maybe because he was looking to break away from me. However, we recently had an augment because another guy called my cell and I lied to my boyfriend telling him that it was a female friend calling to tell me they are coming to visit. He told me he could've hear the guy voice. He eventual called me a lair and told me that he does not trust me. I eventual told him the truth because he somehow has the ability to know who calls my cell, where am at and what am doing. He told me that he is done with me. I was getting tired of the relationship because I found it to be boring and he didn't same to be putting much effort into the sociable area in our relationship. Whenever he I say the lack of interest in him (he told me many times I read to much into things). It was difficult to go to dinner, the movies, at friends house, inviting friends over, he would never participate. He is not taking my calls, emails, neither my text messages. So I stopped making an attempt. During our may breaks I would always be the one trying to call and patching things up. I believe its about time am chased.What should I have done? What do I do? Am I right to want to separate.
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female
reader, Learning and experienced +, writes (14 January 2009):
Thank you for the response they are both great answers. I believe I do need to go with my instincts and it is telling me to separate. I love him but I love myself more. I don't want to continual hurt him doing the things I want because he is not interest. Maybe it is for the best of both of us. Even if we discuss a plan to avenge anything it will go back to being the same thing in the end and that doesn't make sense. I always chase after him, yes I do need to feel he is missing me, thinking about me, and is considering to compromise for me. Well isn't that what love is 'sacrifice and comprise'. I have and he has a little.
Yes I will have faith and leave it to God, he knows me best!!!
Again thank you guys for your response, it added reassurance to my feelings.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 I think you are right to want to seperate, clearly he is not making you happy and you both have very different personalities. Enjoy being single for a while and not worry about having another person to consider in all your decisions!
Every girl wants to be chased and there are only a few guys out there that will, and I think it says something if he hasnt called you since. Maybe it is for the best for both of you to go your seperate ways. Just trust your instincts and if you feel you have made the right decision then stick with it.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, NT  +, writes (13 January 2009):
Hi,
you know what i sense- the main problem is the difference in the basic nature of you two...while you are very friendly , your partner seems to be limited to himself......I somehow identify with your boyfriend....
I had the same problem with my girlfriend with whome i was in relation for past 4 yrs........i am undergoing the same situation.....just the thing is in my case- she is not calling me.....
my suggestion to you is to sit together...talk about the differences and reach to a midway where both of you can respect each other's feeling without bothering to change the basic nature of either.....
Its never late.....have a complete discussion...tell what u want some space.......understand this difference and make it your strength ...not weakness.....all five fingers are not same......every individual has different thoughts...u can't find everything in one person....
you love each other thats y u were together.......he loves u thats y he behaves like this......
In my opinion , dont take relations for granted.....
have faith......All the best ...God bless..........
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