A
male
age
30-35,
*ilveknifex
writes:The girl I love is still in love with her ex, what can I do?I know thers nothing basically i can do but i am now at the point where i am willing to be patient this girl wants to be with me, and truly does like me but right now she just doesnt feel right pursuing somethign with me if she still loves her ex, they basically dont talk, hes called her like once but she always tells me so shes not lieing, right now we go out its almost been 2 months, and she and her ex went out for 3 years and me and her went out for a year before they started to go out, this girls means ALOT to me, her aggravation of this deal is surfacing latelly too shes been mad at the whole thing, and as a boyfriend all i can do is be here for her an be patient, i know she wants to liek me but she says she cant right now, what can i do to help her, she said she doesnt even know what the ex feels on the subject so why should she love a guy who doesnt love her maybe, and personally he doesnt deserve her love he would call her and bitch her out for him ditching her for his friendsd after she would call him and leave a message, there last year bascially revolved around anger and revenge towards once another but i still dont know that i can do! , i want to help her soo much but i just cant be liek hey you gotta get over him now,!
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 Its a really difficult situation, and probably the best thing for her will be the worse thing for you. I think you have to cut her out of your life for a few months, stop seeing her and calling her and give her space.
For you, this will give you time to reflect on the situation and distance yourself from your feelings for her. For the girl, this will give her time to decide what she wants. If she still really loves him then she needs to speak to her ex, see if there is any chance of them getting back together. If he says no, then she will be pretty upset and will take some time to get over him.
You might be waiting a long time for this girl; are you prepared to wait around for months/years? You cant get involved with a girl who loves someone else, you will be the one getting hurt in the long run. She might take a long time to get over him and she needs space to do this; having another man in her life will only subdue her feelings for him not resolve them.
In my opinion this is something you should steer clear of and cut her out of your life - if she calls you in a few months time then great. But dont wait around forever; there are plenty of great girls out there.
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