A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am nineteen and I was lonely so I went on an on line dating site just for kicks and I met this amazing guy, he is a bit older than I am, he is 25 and I fell for him. He also has a child. Also is getting a divorce. I have been with him and have tried to help him through and his son is the best. yes, this may seem like a perfect relationship even though I might be pregnant, we were going to take it on head on and take the responsibility of it maybe even get married. It was when I wanted him to meet my grandparents for the holidays. I started talking to my grandma and told her his last name and sure enough I found out he is like my 3rd cosin, I never met him before the online thing. So what do I do? I love him and what do i do about the child if i find out this weekend if i am pregnant and do I leave him even if he was the one that made me the happiest? What do I do? It is not like I picked him up at a family reunion. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionty all for your help i loved it even though we are no longer together now it really did help
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so i am the one that started the question i just found out that we may not be related we have talked and have not split up he asked me to marry him last nit we are either 3rd cosin or third cosins by marrage i guess that my blood great grand father and his relitive are only like by marrage all i know is that there is secrets in the family and we may not even be related we decided to stay together and for get the whole thing we also decided that it is for the best that only the grand parents should know the only ones that knew the one we both might be related to and also our family said it would be fine but we are telling everyone it is a miss understanding and the elders agree to keep it quite so we do not get mad fun of i know he is clean we have gotten check ups together and all so that is not a problem but from the stress i went though we beleive that i had a misscarrage do to the fact that i explained what happened and he said that it sounds like one we are both sad about it but are not letting it put us down so here is another question should i look more in to it or just let it pass because i am not sure if i will get to know the family secrets at all or should we get a blood test or will they do it before we get married and i do love him. also should tell every one it is a missunderstand so i dont get laughed at?
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 I cant imagine how hard this is for you, but you have to start thinking about what might happen if you are actually pregnant. If he is family then there is a strong chance that the child may have some serious defects/illnesses and you have to decide whether or not you could handle a child with difficulties.
Seen as you have met him online it would have been more sensible to use protection with him, you dont know anything about his past so I would reccomend you get an STI check too, just to make sure he hasnt passed anything on to you.
I agree with the last comment, you need to sit down with your man and look at your family tree to see how closely (or not) you are related. You cant help who you fall for and if he feels the same way about you too then I guess there is no real need to split up.
Make sure you think about how all of your family will react when they find out...will they be ok with it or angry? If you decide to stay together you might be up against it with people's reactions and you need to be strong enough to handle it.
But the main thing is that if you are both happy together and will stay strong for each other to support each other when it gets difficult, then there is no need to leave him.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, inconnue +, writes (12 December 2008):
Talk to him...One of the best thing in relationship is communication.It makes it stronger. The family-relationship your grandma told you is new to you and he should know that. It concerns the two of you. He might find a better solution than you and the two of you should see how to work it out.You can still get married, it's not the end of the world but 3rd cousin ...it might not be a direct blood tie...Talk to him first and together you can draw the family tree and see what to do next. You should not worry about things that are serious if you are about to be married alone.However, the longer you wait, the more it will kill you and endanger your relationship...if it's great as you say, then it will be better once the issue is solve in both way because he'll know you really care and you can communicate.Good Luck n Hope this will help!Inconnue
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