A
male
age
30-35,
*an.1
writes:Hi, my name Dan and I've made a big mess of everything, on Sat 12:00pm 20th December I went and saw my sister for the last time before she went to adoption, anyway I was expecting to be with my gf coz she knew I was going to be upset but later that day she said I couldn't go round and we had a big argument and everything and all this stuff built up on to me and I didn't know what to do so I over dosed. Later that day, foster carer found me took me to hospital and everything else, when my gf`s mum found out she said she don't want me round her house ever again coz of the safety of her 12 year old son and I'm trying to sort it out with her but she won't let me, What do I do coz every one I have talked to can't understand why I'm not allowed round, someone help please. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (24 December 2008):
 Dan you are welcome hon from the bottom of my heart. ANYTIME!
May You Have a VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 8-)
"Lord Raise me up to more than I can be"
Blessings,
Blue_Angel
A
male
reader, dan.1 +, writes (24 December 2008):
dan.1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for your answers its really helpfull and im really grateful.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (23 December 2008):
Talk to your Foster Parents. Get into counseling if you aren't already. focus upon getting youself well. Loosing your sister thru this thus adoption is a very traumatic experience. To be faced with loosing your girlfriend too further complicates things.
I am truely sorry for your loss. Hopefully you girlfriend's Mom will find the compassion and empathy in her heart to see that you are hurting badly. Perhaps in time she will see things differently. Don't blame yourself for what has happened. The fact that your sister was adopted out was entirely not of your control. The fact the girlfriend's Mom doesn't understand what you are feeling isn't your fault either! However you do have to accept and claim the blame for how you think about your situation and the feeings you are having. The overdose was your way of venting your pain. Hon you don't deserve that! You deserve to be LOVED and your SISTER does too. You deserved to grow up together. Sometimes however it just doens't work out that way.
I suffered from a pretty messed up childhood too. I went thru a divorce in my early 30's and my husband tried to take my children. I got really sick with depression. I had to fight to keep my children. I was a good Mom and I won! In the time I was fighting for my rights and THEIRS he lost his place of residence and lights or water, etc. They did without certain needs of sometimes food and even the attention they deserved. My daughter was placed in Foster care and my son , his only son, he put in a boy's home. I got them and brought them home. I raised two little boys who had been given up by their Mom, given to their Dad, who had a drinking problem. He lost them because he had a heart attack and nearly died because of alcohol problems. I spent 7 years helping to raise this little boys.
I hope that your life can turn around. I hope that somehow you can one day find your sister again and be part of her life. Don't give up. Overdosing is giving up hon. YOU DESERVE BETTER. You may not be able to see it now but GOD LOVES YOU and he has something better planned for you. Pray and you WILL find strenght in HIS words.
I am just an ole Granny here with a very loving heart. I Pray that things will get better for you. Please talk to someone you can trust and feel comfortable with about ANYTHING that is hurting you. Don't allow those bad thoughts to STEAL your DREAMS. Perhaps you can ask that the family send some pics of your sister if it's permitted and they are willing. It will help to lift your spirits. Get yourself straight and you never know what might happen.
If you can't be with your girlfriend then for now you really have to get your life in a better perspective. Sometimes hon time can really change things. It can really change people and sometimes their views. Always remember the love you have for your sister and keep it near your heart it will help bring you peace. If I can ever do anything to help you feel free to write me. My heart goes out to you and your little sister.
I pray that someway you can find the Joy of Christmas and Thru the Power of God that it will be Sent to your LITTLE SISTER'd HEART.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 December 2008):
 Well first I just want to say that you have made a big step coming on here and talking about it, your very brave for doing that.
Before you try and get your girlfriend's mum to accept you back into your house you need to start focusing on yourself. I think it would be a huge help to you to see a therapist. I know its a hard step to take but believe me, I have been there and it has helped me so much. You need to think, are you sure that it wont happen again? If your feelings got that difficult to deal with then possibly in the future if another difficult situation arose, you need to be sure that you can handle your emtions and not resort to the same actions.
While your girlfriend's mum is not being helpful to you at all, she is just being a mum looking out for her son. Most mother's (albeit they are ignorant of mental health issues) would do the same. She will just be afraid that you might do it again at her house infront of her children, or maybe talk to them about it and influence them in some way. Now we both know that is stupid and would never happen but those will be her fears.
Now you have to sort yourself out to prove to her that you are getting better and that you can be trusted in her house. She is not being very reasonable or understanding but unfortunately you will meet many people like that in the world, in this case talking to her probably wont help. Actions will speak louder than words in this case.
Your girlfriend should also be able to help here, if you do start therapy then she can tell her mum how well you are doing and how proud she is of you for getting help etc.
Dont worry too much about your girlfriends mum just now, concentrate on yourself and getting help and hopefully she will come round in time. Good luck!
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