A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I Broke up with my serious boyfriend of 4 years a month ago....is it bad im dating already? Only been on one date but have another this weekend.......i still think about my ex but know it was the right thing to do as i was looking else were and thinking of being with other guys when we was together!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Its not a bad thing to be dating again, in fact it is good for you to get back out there and get used to the whole dating scene again.
But what would be a bad idea, a very bad idea, is to jump back into a relationship with the first guy that comes along! Four years is a long time to be with someone and it would do you good to just spend some time being alone and getting used to being on your own! It is a difficult thing to do, to learn to be alone and be happy with your own company. When you are in a relationship you often find that you spend all your time with that person, even if it isnt doing anything exciting. So when it comes to being single again you feel lonely and you miss the company. Hence why spending a couple of months just getting used to being single is a great thing to do.
Too many people make the mistake of ending a long term relationship and then jumping straight into another serious relationship within a month or two. A few months down the line they realise they are only with that new person for the company and they dont have real feelings for them, but they feel too guilty to leave. Many people find their own company to hard to handle and have to be around people all the time, and that is a sign that you are not comfortable with yourself and will just go through life bouncing from one relationship to the next.
Taking some time out from serious relationships will give you perspective on where things went wrong last time, and what you want from a new relationship in the future. Take some time out to start doing things that you want to do, enjoy the fact that you can just spend some time alone being selfish doing all the things you want to do!
So keep on dating, have fun with a guy (or two!) but dont get into anything serious. Enjoy being young and single, start working towards fulfilling your own dreams and ambitions, and when you are in a happy place with your own life then some new guy will come along and make things just that little bit better!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 If your comfortable with the idea then its the right thing to do.Dwelling on the past is no way to move forward with life.Ease your mind of this.If you was my friend I would tell you to go out and have a good time.There is no rush on things.You don`t have to get into anything serious so soon.But staying home isn`t healthy either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): No its not bad,it shows that he was not the right guy for you. If someone is right and you love,then others should not cross your mind. You are probably still thinking of him because 4 years is a long time,but you cant love him.
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