A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am gay and this will sound like I am really shallow which I'm not, but anyway here goes... honestly!I have started seeing this guy who is awesome in just about every way but the downside is he has a really small penis. We've only sort of fooled around but when I grab it when erect it sort of feels like there isn't much there.I know this isn't any real big deal but how do I get past the expectation of there being more there!? Each time I sort of think oh that's right that's it. I haven't let on and feel awful that I even think that.What to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): you don't know yet whether you'll be happy with what this guy has or not. Surely small doesn't equal bad??? i was in a relationship with a guy for years. The sex was ok. Then i met a woman, no dick at all and the sex was mind blowing. My point is it's about the connection. Take my word for it big dick does not atomatically equal good sex!
A
male
reader, Gennath  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 To be honest, I've found that, the bigger the dick, the bigger the dick - hope that makes sense (am I allowed to say that here). Anyway... I've found that the MOST amazing intimate times are usually determined by how amazing the kiss is. Huge passion brings you more fulfilment than a big posterior ever could.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): Sexual fulfilment is incredibly important. There are lots of nice guys who will also be satisfying in other physical aspects too - perhaps its time to cool off a bit with this guy and give yourself a chance to see if your feelings for him are strong enough to overcome this issue. Of course there are other ways to 'play' sexually that don't require size as important.... but an issue like this will only get worse if a long term relationship has difficulties - one area of resentment or dissatisfaction can easily spill over into another.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 I dont think you are shallow at all! Or if you are shallow then that makes two of us!
I left my last boyfriend because he was just too small down there and had no idea how to use it either! He was such a lovely guy and everything I wanted in a man but in the end I just couldnt put up with a man that was rubbish in bed! To some people sex is not important (or at least they think other things are more important) but to me, I am a very sexual person and if my partner just cant satisfy me (god I sound like such a bitch!) then I cant be with them. I find it unfair that they can get what they want from me but when it comes to my turn I get nothing! If you are going to spend your life with someone and invest a lot into that relationship you at least need to have good sex, you cant spend the rest of your life having bad sex!
I guess you might just have to wait and see how he is in bed, you say you have only fooled around so maybe wait and see how he is when you do sleep together. Some men are smaller down there but still know how to use it so you might be pleasantly suprised!
Sex is a big deal to lots of people and sometimes if the sex isnt good then you just have to call it quits, its nothing to be ashamed of for thinking that way! I personally have been lucky enough to have had a few boyfriends who were pretty big down there so I must have got used to that, so it is hard to settle for a tiny one! I know this guy might be perfect in every other way but if the sex isnt good then it will slowly eat away at you and you will find the relationship going downhill.
Dont say anything to him just yet, wait and see what happens when things do progress in the bedroom. If it goes badly then you can always talk about sex, what you both like etc and it might get better. If you feel you have tried everything and still feel frustrated with your sex life then it might be time to call it a day.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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