A
male
age
41-50,
*he_phoenic
writes:confused and need help..lately i saw a video on the youtubeshowing a confusing studythat says marreid women or those who are in a stable long term relationship are more flirtarious than sinlge women !!the study was made in a club and it Focusing on the body moves (( the way of dancing)) and the clothes worn by women and girls any ideas behind the psychiology behind it??and finally how accurate this study is??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Flirting isnt entirely innocent. It is passing the message you are available and only happens if you find them attractive. Fair,if you wouldnt mind a woman flirting with your husband in exactly the same way carry on. If you wouldnt be jealous to see your husband flirting carry on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): I'm flirty whether I'm in a relationship or not... I've been married for a couple of years and I flirt all the time because its a fun and innocent escape, like a fantasy. Who isn't going to flirt with an attractive man anyway? I can't vouch for the study, but I wouldn't be surprised if the results were true.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I agree with k_c - I wear glasses and I'm not a geek!
Oh...wait a minute, actually I am!
And proud of it!
:D
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I couldnt find the video after much searching on Youtube however I still stand by what I said in the first answer. While I do talk a lot about the video, you did ask about the accuracy of what you had seen therefore in order to answer that question I needed to talk about the video.
Yes while computers dont lie, they also only interpret the data that is entered into them. So if the data entered is unscientific then the computer will give unscientific results! A computer is no substitute for personal interpretation and human judgement! Humans have the ability to interpret emotions, feelings and behaviour. Computers cannot do this!
I stand by everything I said in the first answer I gave you, but I will repeat the key points.
1. In order for a study to be deemed accurate in the field of psychology (which I have studied in-depth for 4 years) has to be in a controlled environment (a club is not at all controlled), where certain variables are changed/used to test the participants (who have to have been selected in a careful manner i.e. using a psychological sampling method). By your account this video does not indicate that any of these criteria have been met therefore the study cannot be deemed accurate.
2. Trying to claim someone is a flirt due to the amount of skin on show is perhaps the most absurd thing I have ever heard. Do you honestly believe that just because a woman is wearing a short skirt this means she is a flirt? It is like trying to say all men that wear glasses are geeks! It is stereotyping at its worst and completely derogatory to women! A woman with a lot of flesh on show may just have a great body and enjoys showing it off, or maybe she has terrible dress sense, or maybe she just liked the outfit in the store and bought it. You cannot generalise that all women in short skirts are flirts, while some may want attention from wearing a short skirt others wont be wearing it for that reason.
3. Flirting happens due to personality NOT due to relationship status. You cannot conclude from that video that married women flirt more than single women, it can only draw that conclusion because of the sample of women that were in there that night (a MAJOR limitation of this study that deems it completely inaccurate). They just happened to come across those women that night, on another night they could have found a group of married women who were all dressed quite respectably and were not showing too much flesh! Flirting is a personality trait, some people just have the confidence to flirt with others and that all comes down to their personality and the way they have been brought up. So if you are a flirt when you are single then it is likely you will still be a flirt when you are married. However if you hate flirting when you are single and are somewhat shy, then the chances are you will remain this way when you are married. It is all about personality, it makes no difference whether you are married or single!
I dont know why this issue appears to bother you so much, perhaps you are married and worried that your wife is out there flirting all the time. Or maybe you are worried that in case you do ever get married then your wife will turn out to be a bigger flirt when she is married than when you first got together. Either way you need to realise that you cannot go through life worrying about so called "studies". You are the judge of a person, not a scientist who has never met the person you are interested in. Only you can decide what a person's character is like, and you should not tarnish all women with the same brush just because of a "study" you saw on youtube.
Real life happens outside when you get out there and start living it, not when you are sat in front of a computer screen letting someone else form your own opinions! You are a person with your own mind, therefore you should be the one forming your own opinions on matters such as this.
I hope I have clarified matters for you and please dont go through your life sterotyping people just because of something you have seen on the internet!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): I'm a single mom and no man with me right now....Well as far as know, I dont think so that married women is more flirtatious than a single one because if your single you can do whatever you want..but some married women acts weird sometimes and they dressed up more sexy than a single one to get some attention with guys..I think their more exposed with a relations with a guy and more experienced.....
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (13 July 2009):
the_phoenic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwellthanks for reasonable illustration daneilKc100you have been discussing the video and not answering my question!!go to the youtube and search for the video your selfit looked quite scientific to me and it used a computer to analyze the movements and the amount of skin shown by each womenand computers don't lie !!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I am not sure whether this YouTube video informs about a serious study, and then about one made correctly, or not. I don't think YouTube will always give reliable information.
You are making reference to married women only. I believe, however, that everyone flirts. I will speak about women only, as you want a male point of view about women.
Some married women who do flirt, knowing full well that they won't be involved in a relationship with the man they are flirting with. Among these women, some flirt just because the man in question caught their eyes, and a little flirting is the way they express that. Say, you are in a meeting and then you see this wonderful stud coming into the room. If she has eyes, she will notice him. No intention to go any further here.
Some other women flirt because they want reassurance that they can still make heads turn.
Some women flirt because they want an affair.
And some others flirt because they are in unhappy relationships and need affection.
I believe you should not flirt unless you mean it. In your question, I think I detect something else. Maybe a married woman flirted with you, and then didn't "deliver"? If that is the case, well, don't think too much of it. You interpreted the flirting correctly, only you had no way of knowing how far she wanted to go. End of story. Find someone else.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 July 2009):
Well this so called "study" is a video on youtube of women dancing, where someone is discussing their clothing and the way their body moves? Think about it, there is no way on earth this study is even close to being accurate! It cant even call itself a study, it was merely a random observation.
A study needs willing participants, who are then tested against a set of variables normally in a controlled (or semi-controlled) environment. A study is done scientifically and normally a report would be written following the study. The video you saw was just one person (or a couple of people) making an observation on some women they saw dancing in a club. This has no implications on a woman's personality!
If you believed this study then every woman who was a good dancer who liked to show her body off would be a flirt! That is just crazy!
Whether or not a person is flirtateous comes down to personality, not dancing! Normally if someone is a flirt then they are just a confident, outgoing person who likes to meet new people. You can be a flirt whether you are single or married, it makes no difference. Perhaps these observations have a tiny bit of truth - often you are more confident around the opposite sex when you are married or in a relationship because you know that someone finds you attractive and you have nothing to lose by flirting.
Aside from that, I dont think married women are more flirtateous at all. Some people are born flirts, some people just enjoy flirting and see no harm in that. Flirting is only harmful when it is taken further, but just talking to someone and enjoying their company is no big deal.
So just remember, personality is the reason for someone being a flirt, as opposed to their relationship status!
I hope this helps!
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