A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is so hard and I have no one else that I can talk to about this. I am 20 and my I guess you can call him boyfriend(I am rethinking that) have been together almost 5 years. We have been arguing and I have been losing trust in him because he was talking to a girl online. That’s a whole different issue. Anyway today I told him I wanted his passwords to his e-mails so we could rebuild trust and he agreed. I found he wasn’t talking to the girl but I found something I have no idea how to handle. I noticed he sent himself an e-mail on June 6th and when I opened it I noticed it was a url. I was curious so I copied it and went to the site. I almost vomited when I found out the site was porn not just any porn but pre-teen porn. We don’t live together at the moment and I cant get a hold of him until two tomorrow after noon through e-mail, but I have no idea what to do. I feel like he left the e-mail there for help, since there were only 6 e-mails in the out box and he said he had just cleaned his e-mail. I know everyone is going to tell me to run but I cant do that yet. I want to help him. Just a side note we DO NOT have any children together so there is no issue of him molesting our children. Please help me I have never been through or know anyone who has been through this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): Quote "Anyway today I told him I wanted his passwords to his e-mails so we could rebuild trust and he agreed. " Umm... Do you realise how absurd that sounds ?
I am not going to speculate on the url you found.It could be something or nothing.But if i were your b/f i would be wanting out of the this relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): My knowledge comes from a different perspective than most would offer, but here goes. You can't help him. What I know about people who fantasize about children (let's face it, it's CHILDREN. That=Pedophilia) is that they achieve sexual gratification from having power over other human beings. In terms of the chakra system of Hindu religion/philosophy, this type of person has a block in the sacral/orange ray chakra which governs the sexual organs, bladder, kidneys, etc. When a person has a block in this area, they either take pleasure in being dominated, or in dominating others. It's really simple. You've heard of S & M? That part of the porn industry caters to this type of person exclusively.
Children are pure and defenseless and pedophiles thrive on them because of this. It's sad to say, this is why the human sex trafficking industry thrives. These people don't care about other human beings; it's all about conquering people, body and soul and satisfying their power and sexual lust.
Again, don't try to help this person. In actuality, you can send him to jail to prevent his actions from escalating.
I am so sorry that you had to meet this person and that you thought he was someone else, but get away from him! You seem like a very positive, nurturing person and (I don't know you, no offense please) this may have been what attracted him to you. These types of people love for humans to cater to their needs and they love to dominate. He is bad news for you and your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): My knowledge comes from a different perspective than most would offer, but here goes. You can't help him. What I know about people who fantasize about children (let's face it, it's CHILDREN. That=Pedophilia) is that they achieve sexual gratification from having power over other human beings. In terms of the chakra system of Hindu religion/philosophy, this type of person has a block in the sacral/orange ray chakra which governs the sexual organs, bladder, kidneys, etc. When a person has a block in this area, they either take pleasure in being dominated, or in dominating others. It's really simple. You've heard of S & M? That part of the porn industry caters to this type of person exclusively.
Children are pure and defenseless and pedophiles thrive on them because of this. It's sad to say, this is why the human sex trafficking industry thrives. These people don't care about other human beings; it's all about conquering people, body and soul and satisfying their power and sexual lust.
Again, don't try to help this person. In actuality, you can send him to jail to prevent his actions from escalating.
I am so sorry that you had to meet this person and that you thought he was someone else, but get away from him! You seem like a very positive, nurturing person and (I don't know you, no offense please) this may have been what attracted him to you. These types of people love for humans to cater to their needs and they love to dominate. He is bad news for you and your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Thats good news. I hope you get whatever it is your looking for out of an explaination, and you've done right to send him packing. As for the conviction thing, just looking at child porn and possessing indecent imagery of children is enough for a conviction, that is completly upto you, but it is the right thing to do. I think the fact that he said he didn't like being around children for fear of hurting them suggests to me he was always someone who had intentions to harm kids and should set alarm bells ringing straight away, but, at least you know now what kind of a person he is, and it's not your fault he is that way. Good luck for the future, and starting a family with a decent man who will treat children normally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): arent you concerned about other people's children too?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did report the site to a site that is for the protection of children and the site will be removed. I knew to do that so the poor children didn't suffer anymore and hopefully the sick bastard who took the pictures will go to jail. The suicide issue is an issue he has tried to kill himself before a couple years ago for different reasons. I don't think that jail would do any good and I don't think there is enough evidence to have him convicted. I plan on letting him explain today when I get a hold of him. I also plan on informing his mother who he will be staying with as of Monday what is happening and that she needs to get him some serious help. I just feel stupid and dirty that I have been with this man for almost 5 years and I didn't know anything about this. I cant believe I lost my virginity to a man that looks at little girls. He didn't show any kinky behavior and never even liked being around kids since he was an only child and he was scared he might some how hurt them. I just feel lost and confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): although this is a sensitive issue...i don't think you should shop him to the police until you and him have had a chance to talk about this. I know its illegal but that doesnt stop the curiousity that dwells in most of us, the same can be applied to the reasons some people take drugs. He may just be curious about it, not into it but maybe even fascinted by it- but not in a perverted way.. the same way people can be fascinated by murder. They don't condone it but their interest is captivated and this i do not feel is a crime. however if after talking to him you feel it is an issue you can decide what to do next but until then i would give him a chance to explain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): All right, obviously he's a pedophile who should be reported to the authorities and sent to prison, but, while he's inside he could get the oppetunity to get the professional help he needs to find out what is causing him to look a things like this. On the other hand, he's your boyfriend so obviously you love him and if he does go to prison there is a chance he'll make an attempt on his own life (guilt and realization of what he really is, the same applies to murderers). In the event that he does succeed in taking his life, it will make you feel so much more guilty for having reported him. I DO NOT condone pedophilia or pedophiles, and reporting him IS the right thing to do. But i ask you to consider you feelings on the matter first and how much more damage could be done to you later down the road. Hope you make the right decision and everything works out for yourself.
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reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 I'm sorry but this is a criminal offence and you should report him to the police. If you dont, you could get in trouble with the police too for witholding information. It is illegal to take pictures of children for sexual purposes, and it is also illegal to look at pictures of children for sexual gratification. That website should be closed down - you have the power to do this by reporting the site and your boyfriend to the police. Just think, you could get that site shut down and stop these innocent children being taken advantage of. I know it is only 1 site but every little helps and the world needs people like you to do the right thing and shut these sites down.
If your boyfriend had cleaned his emails, then clearly there were other emails in there that he didnt want you to see. And to leave the URL in there - well either he is just stupid, forgetful or he wanted you to see it. Regardless of this - what he did is illegal and I dont think it was a cry for help in any way. He needs help from a therapist if anything to resolve why he is masturbating to child porn!
You dont trust this guy, he is a paedeophile and he has been cheating on you with another girl. Doesnt exactly sound like the sort of guy you want to be with now does it? There is nothing you can do to help him - he needs professional help because he has so many issues that only he can sort out with the help of a professional. The best thing you can do for him is to report him to the police so that he is not allowed to ever go near children, and so that he realises that what he has done is wrong, very very wrong.
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